Hi, I am new to the forum and have prenatal depression also. This is my fourth child and I was never like this before. It is an awful feeling. I cry often and can't believe how terrible I feel.

I am booked in the see my Dr this week to discuss it and see if I can get some further help. Just can't believe how down I feel.

At long last I had my first appointment at the Mother & Baby Unit today and it went well, it was an initial assessment and took an hour, at the end it was agreed that I would attend weekly antenatal sessions, a group therapy with other pregnant women experiencing the same thoughts and feelings as me. I'm hopeful that this will be the support that I need.

I hope you ladies also manage to be given a sympathetic ear by your Dr's and are given the support you feel you need. Xx

I am sorry to hear that so many people are going through the same thing that I am right now, but at the same time I am relieved that I am not the only one. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant and have been experiencing symptoms of antenatal depression for the last 8 weeks. I am 23 yrs old and this isn't my first pregnancy. My first pregnancy went by so easily besides the random crying fits when the lucky charms are gone and all the normal pregnancy hormone things. Like most people I was completely unaware that antenatal depression existed. its so unknown that my midwifes really don't know how to go about treating me they are referring me to a counselor who may be able to help (crosses fingers) but I have been waiting 3 weeks and my condition is severe. I have irrational fears that make my days really hard to cope with, intense anxiety, and overall sadness. I really dont want to take medication for this but my family and friends seem to think I won't be able to get through the next 152 days without them as it is they prescribed me something that I can take when I feel like I am going to completely lose my mind its Lorazepam, but I feel so guilty taking it that most of the time I dont. If it weren't for forums like this one I wouldn't be able to make it through I guess its just nice knowing your not alone.

I feel a lot like you with anxiety and overall sadness. Some days are better than others but today I find myself feeling low again and it is such an awful awful feeling. I saw my gp and she wants to monitor me but says that if things don't look up that she will consider prescribing me something too, although like you, I would prefer not to take them. I am only 13 weeks pregnant and I just feel like there is such a long way to go. I feel isolated from the world and feel like everything is stuck on hold. I too, only survive when I find someone online that is currently going though the same thing as I truly find that other people couldn't possibly understand.

Its really hard when you can't even concentrate on the baby growing inside your belly. It makes me feel soo guilty and like a terrible mom, theres been days when I've literally broken down and been like I can't handle this there's no way I can make it through another day of this . I end up going to see my MW on those days theres only been about 3 of them so far, they give me pills to get rid of the anxiety. I hate taking the pills in fear of my baby being born with a defect and me always wondering if it was my fault that is the scariest thing about taking medication for me. Although they say the risk of not being medicated is just as bad some say worse. My anxiety and depression is so bad that I don't feel I have as strong of a bond I do in this pregnancy as I did with my daughter. Overall if they offer me medication I think I will reluctantly take it, because this is to much to handle and I just want to feel like i did when I was pregnant with my daughter overwhelmed with joy . So I can concentrate on the things I should be right now like the nursery, baby names, and staying healthy all the happy normal pregnancy things . I hope that you consider taking something to, for me its like a torture I can't get away from you can't take a vacation from your mind.

I've had a particularly low day today, just feeling guilty that I feel no bond with my baby, that I feel so physically ill (with a stomach dysmotility) constantly and all I can focus on is my upper abdoment where the bloating and discomfort is as opposed to stroking my baby belly and concentrating on him or her.
My first pregnancy with my daughter was perfect, I never felt so healthy or happy in all my life yet with this pregnancy I have never felt so physiclly ill and so unhappy.
I'm having increasingly negative thoughts about the rest of the pregnancy and the birth itself, I'm finding it's getting more and more difficult to control these negative thoughts from becoming more disturbing for me. Those close to me (my husband and Mum) who know about my pre natal depression try to say the right thing to support me but I find myself putting on a brave face for them so that they don't worry so much about me.
I've felt like this for the past 20 weeks or so of pregnancy and I'm struggling today to see how I'll cope for the remainding half of the pregnancy. I just want to be happy

Hello ladies I haven't read this thread for a while for some reason, so i thought i'd pop back and see how everyone was doing.
xx

I'm so sorry to hear that hunni.
You WILL be happy sweetie, i imagine that your stomach problem is not helping at all, are you on any medication for that at the moment?

You just have to remember that this is NOT YOUR FAULT, you can't help feeling like this, and you will get through it however bleak it seems right now my depression got so so much worse before it finally started to get better, i'm still not 100% but it's so much of an improvement. I was TERRIFIED about bonding too, i really didn't feel like she was mine or that i deserved her until i was about 30 weeks! I was just 'putting on a front' to people closest to me also. I finally accepted defeat and took a low dosage of anti-depressants over the past few months - definitely helped me! Now i'm so excited for the birth of my daughter and definitely feel a bond, just getting very upset about the birth everytime i think of it but that will pass i'm sure... i hope anyway! It does get better hun i promise.

Have you been back to see your doctor recently?? xxxxx

I hope everyone is alright and everything is going well with all of your pregnancies x x x

I thought I was literally going crazy during the first and second trimester, and occasionally I'll have incredibly low days now.
Not sure if mine would be anxiety or depression, I honestly feel like I had lost my mind at one point.
During the first trimester, I was constantly worried that I wasn't actually pregnant up until 10 weeks when I finally heard the heartbeat, and even then, I was always worried that something was wrong or that something was going to go wrong.
I had had an incident about 2 years prior which caused major bleeding in that area, and I thought for sure that my cervix wouldn't be able to hold up for very long.
I would always cry. Not just the normal hormonal tearing up at something, I would just sit and cry, worried.
When I was about 14 weeks, I had a pap and two days later I had some bright red bleeding, and I freaked out, even though they told me it was normal.
After that, I had another episode of spotting, and I began doing what the woman in the article was doing, I kept on wiping so often that I would sometimes cause myself to have bleeding externally, and that, of course would only make things worse.
At 18 weeks or so I was told I had marginal placenta previa (although it's not really considered previa in the second tri) and that I could hemorrhage.
I know they were just trying to warn me, but that was honestly the worst thing you could tell someone who was already worried about any bleeding, let alone something that serious. I know the doctor couldn't have had any idea I was going through this, as I was too afraid they would think I was unfit to be a mother if I told them, so I kind of just kept it to myself for awhile.
The checking for blood was becoming so bad that I couldn't sleep without putting reminders on my phone for every 2 hours to check. I feel really horrible thinking back to that.
I basically thought that it was just normal first-time mother worries, but it got worse.
When I reached 23 weeks, I just became obsessed with whether my baby would make it to each stage, I set milestones and everytime I reached one, it wasn't good enough, and I would set another one. I was constantly just either depressed or worried, to the point where I wouldn't be able to go out without needing to check.
In late second trimester, I was always feeling extremely low. I was certain I wouldn't ever be a good mother, and I just wondered why I would put myself through any of this, but some days I would just look at the positives, and feel at least half way decent.
And its true, women are pressured to seem over-the-top happy about their pregnancies.
I still feel as if something is wrong with me, because I'm honestly never all that happy. I mean, I'm happy at times, but it doesn't last long and its never significantly happy.

I've tried to talk to the first doctor I had about it, though I was reluctant to tell him at all, but he kind of just shrugged it off. The MA even told me to just "breathe in and out of a paper bag" if I felt worried, and to just deal with being depressed because it was "just hormones."
After the worrying I had done, my doctor dismissed me as a patient because he simply couldn't handle the attention I needed.
With my new doctor, I'm afraid to even mention anything as I'm afraid he'll think I'm just making it up or exaggerating as my last doctor did.
I'm glad to know it is something real, and I haven't totally lost my mind.

I've gone back and edited a lot out, as I don't know if I'd like to share some of what I wrote publicly.
But I really am glad to see this as a thread, it really makes me feel not-so-alone with this.
I really had to keep this all in and its nice to sort of vent about it and let it out for once.

Only just seen this thread here was suggested to join by lily. I have been diagnosed with low-mild prenatal depression, but they dont want to give me anything becuase of the risks. i am being monitored every 3weeks at the doctors at the moment