amber1

can anyone give some advise as someone might of been in this situation before
i have been out with my best friend tonight and we had a really good time then she told me that her husband is gay!!!
i am normally really good with advise and supporting people but i was totally dumbstruck!
apart from giveing her lots of hugs and telling her we will talk properley tomorrow as she was very drunk and i thought it would be better to talk about it in the morning i didnt no what to say.
i feel awful now as she has gone home and i feel i havent been much help
anyone if you have got some advise im in urgent need.
thankyou
amber.

Imi

OMG! ... bit of a shocker!

All i can say is be there for her and offer as much support as you can without to involved!

xxx

amber1

thank-you
ive never had to deal with anything like this before but i will be with her all the way i am her best friend and love her to bits.

Stef

I think id be as gob smacked. Just make sure you support her with her decisions and make sure she dosent loose her self confidence. Im sure it would knock you for six confidence wise.

x

Amanda

OMG - that is a real shock! I think you have done the right thing by leaving it until she's sober as there would have been a good chance that she would not remember any good advise you gave her.

Are they still living together, or have they split?

At the end of the day, I don't think there's much actual advise you can give her, apart from the practicalities of the possible seperation, just lots of hugs and support.

I used to do some counselling for an HIV/AIDS support service, and have been in the situation where someone has come to me to say they are married and gay, but I've never actually seen it from the other spouses point of view. I don't know how I would handle it - I would have the initial shock of the deception, but with time, hopefully I'd be able to see that there was absolutely nothing that I could have done to prevent the split, after all I would be the wrong sex.

Sorry, I'm not sure how to word it, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Trinity

Oh dear .. what a situation to be in. I dont really know what to suggest apart from be there for her and listen and just offer support.

Mynxie

OMG!!!

I've had a few mates tell me that they're gay, but :O Bless her

hypnorm

thats terrible, i had a similar situtaion about a year ago. having not spoken to a friend for a couple of yrs i asked how her hubby was and hoped everyone was well, she said 'well my hubby is now my ex and he is a she!' sort of killed the convo but she was ok as the marriage was at its end anyway.
Just support her as best you can.

bexxie

well Bam dunno what to say as obviousley I know her dont I.

I will give her a ring for you,think we may be going up there in week anyway so will speak to her then,I feel for **** as he is going through hell as it is,I knew about this for about a month but didnt want to say anything and with him being Daves mate I knew Dave would have shot me for opening my mouth. Is awful aint it.

Just be there for her but I cant get as involved on sides as you as you know how things are.
bex