It's my 21st bday in january. Mum wants me to have a party, but it just seems like a waste of time to me. All i'd be doing is watching all my friends get pissed and go out which would make me more depressed.

I love my daughter, I really do and I don't wish that I never had her. Just makes me a bit depressed when all my friends go out all the time. I've been out once since Savannah was born and I just get too damn tired to enjoy myself so I make up and excuse so I can go home to bed.

I just want my bday to pass without any fuss. Am thinking of going to my grandmas for it, no mobile phone reception or internet. Then I can forget about it all and pretend it's just another day.

I don't even know whats wrong with me, a few weeks ago I was happy and planning my bday, was going to see if my mum could watch Savannah so I could go out but now I don't see the point.

And the only thing that I want for my bday is a proposal, but I wouldn't ever tell Justin that coz I want it to be his idea, and not pressured or anything. He says he has something planned for my bday but i'm not getting my hopes up, he planned something last bday so meh.

Well thats my feelings out and over and done with. Lets hope they get more optimistic closer to my bday or it's going to be a shit day.

I hope that whatever you decide to do, you have a wonderful birthday.

x

*hugs* I think you should do whatever you want, maybe some family time with just you and Justin and Savannah? or time out just for you and get ur hair done and feel pretty