Yet another wedding thread...

[Tam]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.......

This is driving me mad..........

Right here goes...

We are obviously going to get married, and have decided that we will save for this rather than get in debt, as this is the last thing we need! Well, the thing is, I have found a venue where we would love to have the wedding & reception, but it is very pricey.........this means we would have to wait a few years before we tie the knot as there is a list of 100 people already and that is really without trying!

Sooooooo, me & Paul have just been talking and have decided that we are going to stick with our vernue, as it is something we both really want, but we are going to cut the wedding list right down in the hope we can tie the knot sooner rather than later!

Well this is the thing.....I don't have my Mum anymore, so I would love my Mum's family to come, plus if we didn't invite them, I feel they would take it personally, so I have included them...Paul said about leaving out his family (as it is very small and his mum & Dad have split and it could get awkward as his Dad has just re-married), well if my Mum's family is coming then he feels his family should come LOL! Which is fine by me, but it aint helping my numbers! I have got it to 65 I think and we were so trying to get it to nearer 20, but we have that nearly with just our lot and my sisters LOL, PLUS there are a few friends that I will not even consider not inviting, so they are defos!

Paul says be ruthless.....how should I do it, tbh I am happy to have a BIG wedding, but I am not happy to have to wait so long, and I am also happy to have a very small wedding, but there are certain people I REALLY want there..........what should I do?! LOL!!

I feel like informing everyone of our plans and saying you are ALL invited, BUT we can't have you all there, so we will be pulling names out of a hat, so nothing personal!

HELP!!

[Suz]

OH The Joys of planning a wedding. I know exactly how you are feeling. This is the most stressfull part of planning a wedding. My best advice is to look at your list of everyone that you want to invite, then check them off one by one on who you know will not attend. Then go though the list and check who you Have to invite (I.E. Close Family and Your friends) Then see where you stand and make a list of people you dont care if you ruffel their feathers abit. This is hard and Im sure it will take you a bit to figure out. Im here to help if you need.

[Tam]

That's the thing, the people I have left are close family & friends.......so how do I cut them out....And I am 99% sure they will all come

[Cat]

My brother and SIL had a similar situation, she lost her mother to cancer, and decided as a result that she didnt want a big do without her mum being there so instead they opted to get married in gretna green with no one there, just a romantic thing between the two of them. My mum found out about the wedding as she thought it was me getting married when she came across the booking info, and while she was upset at not being able to be present at her sons wedding she understond the situation and didnt kick up about it. Now Im sure if you did really strip back the family numbers on both sides (perhaps just grandparents, brothers sisters and not their partners or families?) and explain the situation Im sure that they will understand, that you wanted to have just a few really close people and not a big do.

[Imi]

You can do it on a budget babes ... belive me!!

How about having this wedding and instead of pay per head so your own buffet or ask the venue about BBQ?? I'll do your invites save you buying (thats if you'd want me to ) bit prosumtuous there sorry lol ... do you know anyone who can do your photography? (might be able to help you out on that score too!

It can be done i promise you ... you need help then hollar ... your dream wedding can and will happen with out the need to "cut back" ....

Just takes alot of thinking and a few mircals ... but they happen too

xxx

[bexxie]

Tam I had this prob so i buggered off to Sandals in Jamacia and did it that way alternatively they do a Beaches so you can take kids.
I had a HUGE party when I got home.It was fab. But if you have your heart set on that venue (and I cant blame you if its the same ones),then is hard to sort out with people.

I dont know what I would do so i am not much help but wanted you to know I am thinking of you. What does sis have to say? Maybe she can help some.

Bex.x

[Suz]

Imi has a great point.

We had to limit our guests to 100 only because of space. We got the paper every week and clipped out our coupons to the craft store and bought all the decorations ourselves and did this for months until we had everything, we went to all the Bridal Fares and got all the discounts, and before we knew it Wala....The perfect wedding for under $10K with 100 guests. And if you buy things and pay for things alittle at a time, it wont hit the pocket books all at once.

[Yvonne]

My wedding is costing £3,659
that includes

Reg office, hotel with wedding breakfast and evening reception and with all he normal wedding things paid for like dresses etc.

We have got immdiate family at the reg office and the meal then everyone and their dog coming to the evening.

We got the photo's off my brothers friend, the DJ is a family friend, my mum and dad are paying for the cars, a woman i work with is doing my cake for next to nothing.

Ask about, friends might know someone who can do you a favour with prices.
It can be done on a budget without having to cut back too much

[Tam]

See I am in the same position as Cat's SIL.....I lost my Mum to Breast Cancer Xmas 2005, now if Mum was here, I would want to pull out all the stops and have a huge do and everyone and his dog be there, but as I can't have my Mum there, I am happy to do it just me, Paul the kiddies and my dad, sister and Pauls best mate and a couple of other friends of mine.

The thing is, this is 'our' day and no one elses, so we will not have any iterferance form anyone else, so it really does fall on ou shoulders (Damn no one else to blame lol). We are NOT having a top table, as my Mum can't take her place there, we will NOT be having anything that means I get reminded my Mum isn't there!

The venue isn't really the sort of place I can ask them to do a BBQ, plus I want to get married in October lol......it is a per head venue and that includes things like place settings, flowers, champagne, canapies, the wedding breakfast, the Disco, the buffet & the bridal suite etc. (It is the place you saw Bex). We have no problem paying for everyone on the list to come, as I love everyone on there, trust me, we are not the sort of people to invite people we don't like, especially when we have to pay for the aggravation to have them in our company.....sod that! lol! But what do you do when you LIKE or LOVE everyone on your list? lol!

I will be ringing the venue very soon, and I may see about having the ceremony and wedding breakfast, then have a reception in the evening and see if they will price that up according to numbers?! Oh how complicated! If we didn't mind waiting, there would be no problem, but we wanna get married as soon as possible, and then there is also the fact that I don't have my Mum with me......so I am a tad confused as again, I don't want everyone there except my Mum, although she would love that too!

Oh well, back to the list AGAIN!!!....