Armed Forces - 2nd baby

Marker · Sep 25th, 2008, 10:33 AM

Not there yet but hopefully someone on here would be in the know.

If you are pregnant with your second child and due while the OH is away on deployment what happens … as you can hardly be a responsible parent with one while trying to deliver the other?

Anyone been in this situation or know the rules surrounding this situation?

Ashy · Sep 25th, 2008, 23:23 PM

depends. Here in Canada if your husband or wife is in Afghanistan or on training to go, then you are stuck and they expect you to have someone to help you, as here, they ask if you have someone you can call in an emergency. I know people who haven't seen their babies until they are a few months old. just my experience from this side of the ocean. i am sure it would also depend on the trade and how in demand it is.

Pyrrhic · Sep 26th, 2008, 18:22 PM

You just cope, and hope you have family and friends that you can rely on.

They won't pull someone off a deployment because their OH is having a baby. Service needs come before personal ones.

Marker · Sep 28th, 2008, 15:32 PM

Yes but surely its different with a second child as you need someone to care for that child! You can't just cope if you have another person dependant on you! Not even the forces are that bad?!

Pyrrhic · Sep 28th, 2008, 18:07 PM

Yes, it is the case.

If you don't have any family of friends that can help you, then get in touch with the HIVE on base, or the padre who will be able to offer you help and support. Unfortunately a lot of service personnel are deployed when their children are due, and because of this and the fact its difficult for those left behind the bases become little communities that support and care for each other. There will be other people on base who have been, or are in the same situation as you. Definitly get in touch with the HIVE who can give you some advice.

Marker · Sep 29th, 2008, 07:04 AM

Hmmm thats strange. If service personnel are away on ops and their wife who was caring for one or more of their children had to have 'serious' surgery then personnel would be sent home on compasionate grounds, as it is impossible to care for children while recovering from op. I have heard that similar applies to a women due with second child ... as birth isnt always straight forward.

I know on a first born child things are different again, but when there are other children involved there are different factors again.

I think I will contact a view organisations to see what the case with it is.

Pyrrhic · Sep 29th, 2008, 07:50 AM

Your wife potentially dying is different to you not being able to arrange childcare. They can't just pull people off ops because of childbirth. If there was outstanding medical reasons that endangered your life then they might consider it, but at the end of the day for routine child birth service needs will come first. A compassionate reason isn't that your OH needs to look after one child while your in hospital giving birth, but it's for things like a family member is in critical condition in hospital and is potentially dying and they need to get home to say goodbye.

They can't pull someone back from Iraq because their wife is in labour.

Don't you have any family of friends that can help you? Any families on base with you?

If you do a quick search on the net then you can see there are a lot of people who are pregnant with their OHs abroad:

http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/....php?t=1564086
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...7181302AALdeeB
http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about314742.html
http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/...splay.php?f=72
http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/....php?t=1563045
http://www.babycenter.com/400_my-mil...500282_1001.bc

Marker · Sep 30th, 2008, 17:00 PM

I know there are people who have given birth while their OHs are deployed, completly different when you have another child dependant on you. My first birth wasnt straight forward so needless to say Im pretty anxious to know where we stand on this.

and no I dont have family near me that can drop everything to come help me out.

Have looked round the net and there is a 'trusted neighbour' scheme ... thanks but no thanks. Can't see that working if I had to palm my little one off for a few days while I recover from hospital.

ChloesMummy · Oct 11th, 2008, 09:34 AM

I am in the RAF as is OH and i know for a fact that if u are married and sent on deployment to Afghan, Basrah, Falklands etc. your OH will be sent back for the birth.

Before he deploys he will fill out prep p/work which includes a welfare sheet on his family which will ask if he has a pregnant wife and what date she is due. If by your due date he has done enough days to qaulify as a DWR his tour will be cut short, if not he may be sent back after the birth to finish his DWR or more than likely change it all together untill after the birth.

I work with several guys that have gone through this. This is for the RAF not sure on Army or Navy. Good luck x

Pyrrhic · Oct 11th, 2008, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChloesMummy

Before he deploys he will fill out prep p/work which includes a welfare sheet on his family which will ask if he has a pregnant wife and what date she is due. If by your due date he has done enough days to qaulify as a DWR his tour will be cut short, if not he may be sent back after the birth to finish his DWR or more than likely change it all together untill after the birth.

Depends if they can accommodate you.

There's nothing in stone to say that they will come back, and nothing to say they won't. It's individual circumstances. What the unit is doing, where they're based, what job the person is doing, etc. Obviously they'll try and be as accommodating as possible, but nothing is guaranteed.

You shouldn't assume that your OH will definitely come back because you have an issue with childcare arrangements.

Sep 25th, 2008, 10:33 AM	#1
Marker Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wales Posts: 64	Armed Forces - 2nd baby Not there yet but hopefully someone on here would be in the know. If you are pregnant with your second child and due while the OH is away on deployment what happens … as you can hardly be a responsible parent with one while trying to deliver the other? Anyone been in this situation or know the rules surrounding this situation?

Status: Offline

Sep 25th, 2008, 23:23 PM	#2
Ashy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Edmonton, AB Posts: 1,965	depends. Here in Canada if your husband or wife is in Afghanistan or on training to go, then you are stuck and they expect you to have someone to help you, as here, they ask if you have someone you can call in an emergency. I know people who haven't seen their babies until they are a few months old. just my experience from this side of the ocean. i am sure it would also depend on the trade and how in demand it is.

Status: Offline

Sep 26th, 2008, 18:22 PM	#3
Pyrrhic Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,567	You just cope, and hope you have family and friends that you can rely on. They won't pull someone off a deployment because their OH is having a baby. Service needs come before personal ones.

Status: Offline

Sep 28th, 2008, 15:32 PM	#4
Marker Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wales Posts: 64	Yes but surely its different with a second child as you need someone to care for that child! You can't just cope if you have another person dependant on you! Not even the forces are that bad?!

Status: Offline

Sep 28th, 2008, 18:07 PM	#5
Pyrrhic Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,567	Yes, it is the case. If you don't have any family of friends that can help you, then get in touch with the HIVE on base, or the padre who will be able to offer you help and support. Unfortunately a lot of service personnel are deployed when their children are due, and because of this and the fact its difficult for those left behind the bases become little communities that support and care for each other. There will be other people on base who have been, or are in the same situation as you. Definitly get in touch with the HIVE who can give you some advice.

Status: Offline

Sep 29th, 2008, 07:04 AM	#6
Marker Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wales Posts: 64	Hmmm thats strange. If service personnel are away on ops and their wife who was caring for one or more of their children had to have 'serious' surgery then personnel would be sent home on compasionate grounds, as it is impossible to care for children while recovering from op. I have heard that similar applies to a women due with second child ... as birth isnt always straight forward. I know on a first born child things are different again, but when there are other children involved there are different factors again. I think I will contact a view organisations to see what the case with it is.

Status: Offline

Sep 29th, 2008, 07:50 AM	#7
Pyrrhic Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,567	Your wife potentially dying is different to you not being able to arrange childcare. They can't just pull people off ops because of childbirth. If there was outstanding medical reasons that endangered your life then they might consider it, but at the end of the day for routine child birth service needs will come first. A compassionate reason isn't that your OH needs to look after one child while your in hospital giving birth, but it's for things like a family member is in critical condition in hospital and is potentially dying and they need to get home to say goodbye. They can't pull someone back from Iraq because their wife is in labour. Don't you have any family of friends that can help you? Any families on base with you? If you do a quick search on the net then you can see there are a lot of people who are pregnant with their OHs abroad: http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/....php?t=1564086 http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...7181302AALdeeB http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about314742.html http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/...splay.php?f=72 http://www.militarytimes.com/forums/....php?t=1563045 http://www.babycenter.com/400_my-mil...500282_1001.bc

Status: Offline

Sep 30th, 2008, 17:00 PM	#8
Marker Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Wales Posts: 64	I know there are people who have given birth while their OHs are deployed, completly different when you have another child dependant on you. My first birth wasnt straight forward so needless to say Im pretty anxious to know where we stand on this. and no I dont have family near me that can drop everything to come help me out. Have looked round the net and there is a 'trusted neighbour' scheme ... thanks but no thanks. Can't see that working if I had to palm my little one off for a few days while I recover from hospital.

Status: Offline

Oct 11th, 2008, 09:34 AM	#9
ChloesMummy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,322	I am in the RAF as is OH and i know for a fact that if u are married and sent on deployment to Afghan, Basrah, Falklands etc. your OH will be sent back for the birth. Before he deploys he will fill out prep p/work which includes a welfare sheet on his family which will ask if he has a pregnant wife and what date she is due. If by your due date he has done enough days to qaulify as a DWR his tour will be cut short, if not he may be sent back after the birth to finish his DWR or more than likely change it all together untill after the birth. I work with several guys that have gone through this. This is for the RAF not sure on Army or Navy. Good luck x

Status: Offline

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