Dionne

Kris mum has a boyfriend she has been with for 2.5 yrs
and she has recently started calling him "grandad" in Dior & Harleys birthday cards etc.

i dont think its right. he is not their grandad.

do you think i should say something?

i think i should kris thinks i shouldnt.

ps kris dont see his real dad x

Imi

It all depends ...

My mum is with her partner and we call him grandad, i see my dad sometimes but my step dad to be acts more like maddies grandad than her real one if you get my meaning??

Does he act like there grandad?

I suppose it depends if you think the relationship between them will last hun, and they are your children ....

If Gav's dad started calling his MRS Grandma in there cards i'd say something ...

Don't like her either of us~!
xxx

Cat

It is difficult, like Imi says does he interact or make an effort with your family?

And does Kris think you shouldnt say anything because he doesnt want a fuss, or cause he likes this bloke being with your mum etc? Cause if he doesnt have a relationship with his real dad he may be seeing this guy as potentially a family member and might find it hard you pushing him out cause he isnt a blood relative.

Its your call hun, you know how much this guy is likely to become a permanent fixture in your families life, and if he is up for being part of your family it might be nice for your kids to have a grandad, but obviously if he doesnt really have much to do with you and the kids and you dont see him as sticking around it might be confusing for your children if he leaves and they wonder what happened to grandad.

Dionne

acording to kris mum he is great with Dior buys her things reads to her draws with her. Dior goes there eery tuesday. but i never really see him. and when i do go round he aint there.
i am quiet nasty to be honest as i dont trust any one with my children. and he is a man i dont no!!!! so i always think the worse!
kris dont no the man either and dont want me to say any thing as his mum is touchy and goes of in big moods ALLLL the time.
the other day i asked her not to shout at the dog round Dior any more as its really scaring Dior and Dior now has a fear of dogs, she never spoke to me for nearly a week so kris just wants me to keep the peace.
but they are always splitting up falling out then getting back together

Cat

Hmmm, well you shouldnt not say anything just because of her behavior, as thats just intimidation, she should respect how you want your children raised. Whilst its nice that his making the effort to be friendly, if as you say its not exactly the most stable of relationships perhaps you could think of a suitable nickname for them to call him instead, if they start calling him it then it might just stick and the will save you actually having to make a comment. It used to be very common for family friends that wernt actaully related to get called uncle or aunt so-and-so, perhaps something like this?

Imi

Maybe you should try sitting down over a coffee and having a chat to her about it ...

tell her the reasons behind why you feel like this I'E you don't think tis fair confusing the children and that you don't think tht splitting up and getting back together all the time is the way to go about not confusing them!

Must be difficult for you hun!
xxx

hypnorm

We always had tp do this, any friends of the family we had to call 'uncle' John or Aunty Mary. I always found it confusing till i was a bit older, asking my mum if they were related to her.

It think calling him Grandad is a bit too much too soon, maybe as another person said think of a nick name for him,

Wobbles

How awkward for you Dioone

I hope you get it sorted soon but if uncomfortable with it I would have to say something rather than not for the sake of arguement.