GemLou

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. -love this
one

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
Breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month

The Baby clothes:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour co-ordinate them, and
Fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard
Only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up
The baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
Firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
Swing

Dummies:

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you
can Go home and wash and sterilise it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some
Juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Nappy changing:

1st baby: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they need
It or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain
About the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby
Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
Home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
Number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
sees Blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
Child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
Hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
The coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
Allowance!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . Or everyone
Who KNOWS someone who has had children . .
(The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!

HkLiz

bwahahah, I love this!

polo_princess

danni2609

MummyJade

Hehe i love it,
OH is in stitches!
x

NickyT75

he he he! very funny! xx

Mamafy

Newt

v2007

Thats excellent.
All true thou.

V x x

jms895

Thats ace