Boyfriend not understanding

NatLuvsAlb · Sep 6th, 2008, 22:12 PM

Well my boyfriend is always talking to me badly ever since i told him i was pregnant. He thinks i've lied about things that happened in my past and seems to just think of that and not how hard its going to be for me these months. He just doesnt realize he's going to be a father and he stresses out so much and takes it out on me.
Before i told him i was pregnant everything was fine, but now its so bad and am getting stressed out by it all

Any idea's on how to sort him out????

brownhairedmom · Sep 7th, 2008, 12:49 PM

You know what...when i told my ex i was pregnant, he did a complete switch and turned into the meanest, most mentally abusive, cruelest person on the face of the earth. He was constantly accusing me of cheating on him (while I was stuck at home puking my guts up and pregnant with his child...figure that out if you will), he was always making nasty comments about how I didn't clean enough, that I was constantly degrading him. I don't know why they do this, but some guys are just complete idiots. I'd talk to him, but just be warned that if hes anything like my ex, things will only get worse unless things are straightened out

NatLuvsAlb · Sep 7th, 2008, 16:53 PM

Its really strange why they do that yep

.
He doesn't even want to talk about how its going to work out. I always have to ask him to do something for me and in the end he doesn't anyways, he just makes excuses. I guess he thinks he's the best, i told him clearly the other day that hes making it a lot harder for me right now, he said "i don't think i am" as most of the time. Am just totally lost here and feel so alone =|

brownhairedmom · Sep 7th, 2008, 18:17 PM

I don't know how long you've been together, but can you try couples counselling? Maybe he's just in denial.

NatLuvsAlb · Sep 7th, 2008, 18:37 PM

I'd love to try counselling if am honest with you, but of course he doesnt think its something worth doing.

**Tiff** · Sep 8th, 2008, 22:22 PM

In almost every doctor's office I've been to there have been posters with statistics on how many men start abusing their OH once they become pregnant. If they're already abusive, it gets worse after the fact.

I'm not exactly sure as to why this is a statistic, personally... but apparently it does happen. I'm sorry he's being such a jerk to you. Just don't get sucked into the game of trying to prove yourself. You know you're being true, it's his issue... not yours.

destiny27 · Sep 9th, 2008, 05:50 AM

sometimes it can take a while for guys to come to the realization that they are gonna be a dad, unfortunately for my eldest sons dad that never happened

hope you both sort it out,

NatLuvsAlb · Sep 9th, 2008, 08:16 AM

Well he is going through a lot of stuff with his parents and also he just started the University today. I spoke to him about it last night aswell, he seems none the wiser, still not kind of acknowledging that am pregnant. I asked him what would happen when its time to tell his parents/friends etc how he would feel about it, no reply. His parents are right damn nutters i think maybe he's scared to tell them since he's 18 now, they have the right to kick him out the house. I asked him if we should go and get counselling (as rae05 said earlier on), he still says he doesn't see the point in it

. Maybe i should just leave him for a while to see if he comes round to it himself? Something i highly doubt.

NatLuvsAlb · Sep 9th, 2008, 08:17 AM

Oh and just to let you guys know, am 15 (16 on the 27th this month) and he's 18 as i said.

Blah11 · Sep 9th, 2008, 08:26 AM

I don't think he should be your 'boyfriend' if he's treating you like that. Don't think you NEED him just b/c you're pregnant with his kid. He has no right to treat you like poo. You're both terribly young and if you want to keep the baby you should plan on doing it yourself and not expect anything from him (maybe your bf will change but just incase he doesn't).

Sep 6th, 2008, 22:12 PM	#1
NatLuvsAlb Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 15	Boyfriend not understanding Well my boyfriend is always talking to me badly ever since i told him i was pregnant. He thinks i've lied about things that happened in my past and seems to just think of that and not how hard its going to be for me these months. He just doesnt realize he's going to be a father and he stresses out so much and takes it out on me. Before i told him i was pregnant everything was fine, but now its so bad and am getting stressed out by it all Any idea's on how to sort him out????

Status: Offline

Sep 7th, 2008, 12:49 PM	#2
brownhairedmom Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 6,444	You know what...when i told my ex i was pregnant, he did a complete switch and turned into the meanest, most mentally abusive, cruelest person on the face of the earth. He was constantly accusing me of cheating on him (while I was stuck at home puking my guts up and pregnant with his child...figure that out if you will), he was always making nasty comments about how I didn't clean enough, that I was constantly degrading him. I don't know why they do this, but some guys are just complete idiots. I'd talk to him, but just be warned that if hes anything like my ex, things will only get worse unless things are straightened out

Status: Offline

Sep 7th, 2008, 16:53 PM	#3
NatLuvsAlb Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 15	Its really strange why they do that yep . He doesn't even want to talk about how its going to work out. I always have to ask him to do something for me and in the end he doesn't anyways, he just makes excuses. I guess he thinks he's the best, i told him clearly the other day that hes making it a lot harder for me right now, he said "i don't think i am" as most of the time. Am just totally lost here and feel so alone =\|

Status: Offline

Sep 7th, 2008, 18:17 PM	#4
brownhairedmom Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 6,444	I don't know how long you've been together, but can you try couples counselling? Maybe he's just in denial.

Status: Offline

Sep 7th, 2008, 18:37 PM	#5
NatLuvsAlb Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 15	I'd love to try counselling if am honest with you, but of course he doesnt think its something worth doing.

Status: Offline

Sep 8th, 2008, 22:22 PM	#6
Tiff Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 17,542	In almost every doctor's office I've been to there have been posters with statistics on how many men start abusing their OH once they become pregnant. If they're already abusive, it gets worse after the fact. I'm not exactly sure as to why this is a statistic, personally... but apparently it does happen. I'm sorry he's being such a jerk to you. Just don't get sucked into the game of trying to prove yourself. You know you're being true, it's his issue... not yours.

Status: Offline

Sep 9th, 2008, 05:50 AM	#7
destiny27 Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: kent Posts: 987	sometimes it can take a while for guys to come to the realization that they are gonna be a dad, unfortunately for my eldest sons dad that never happened hope you both sort it out,

Status: Offline

Sep 9th, 2008, 08:16 AM	#8
NatLuvsAlb Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 15	Well he is going through a lot of stuff with his parents and also he just started the University today. I spoke to him about it last night aswell, he seems none the wiser, still not kind of acknowledging that am pregnant. I asked him what would happen when its time to tell his parents/friends etc how he would feel about it, no reply. His parents are right damn nutters i think maybe he's scared to tell them since he's 18 now, they have the right to kick him out the house. I asked him if we should go and get counselling (as rae05 said earlier on), he still says he doesn't see the point in it . Maybe i should just leave him for a while to see if he comes round to it himself? Something i highly doubt.

Status: Offline

Sep 9th, 2008, 08:17 AM	#9
NatLuvsAlb Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 15	Oh and just to let you guys know, am 15 (16 on the 27th this month) and he's 18 as i said.

Status: Offline

Sep 9th, 2008, 08:26 AM	#10
Blah11 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 32,873	I don't think he should be your 'boyfriend' if he's treating you like that. Don't think you NEED him just b/c you're pregnant with his kid. He has no right to treat you like poo. You're both terribly young and if you want to keep the baby you should plan on doing it yourself and not expect anything from him (maybe your bf will change but just incase he doesn't).

Status: Offline

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