General Chatter

greenkat · Jul 25th, 2008, 17:58 PM

I think it depends - but where possible ex's should definately be left behind!!!

My OH had a fling his lesbian best friend... so I sort of consider her an ex even though it's complicated. They used to peck each other on the lips as a greeting before we knew each other - I think she was like a substitute for a girlfriend but as soon as he met me they started to drift apart - nothing to do with my interference I promise. I don't think I could handle it now though if they were still in close contact, I get really jealous even though I know he's not interested in her like that, or her in him really.

He has a proper ex - he was with her for 5 years and he hates her now and has no contact. Thing is his dad is still friends with her and my OH believes she cheated on him with his dad! - but again complicated and can't be confronted.

I just can't stand thinking about his old relationships - gets my head confused. Couldn't imagine how I'd feel if he had kids with someone else!

Sarah88 · Jul 27th, 2008, 05:04 AM

I'd be annoyed too, stupid bitch!
I'm friends with my ex, whom I cheated on to be with my OH. But he has another partner and also lives 3hrs away, I also don't hide it if he has txtd me and my OH asks.

polo_princess · Jul 27th, 2008, 12:46 PM

Hmmm difficult one, i think it depends entirely on the circumstances of how/why you split.

I speak to my ex of 5 years now and then but it cant be helped, we work in the same trade, whereas my OH doesnt speak to his at all

Linzi · Jul 27th, 2008, 15:22 PM

I dont think I have an ex I would want to stay friends with. They've all hurt me quite a lot. And my OH isn't mates with his either. Don't think it would bother me though.

Everyones different. I guess it depends on the situation...

xxx

Bunnipowder · Jul 27th, 2008, 22:54 PM

I think I would tell her myself to back off if he dosent have the heart too! I think its okay for me to be friends with an ex because i know i dnt have any more feelings for them but i wouldnt know if my oh still had feelings 4 an ex bcus he isnt goin2admit it is he? but he could be thinking same thing about me!

psycholisa · Jul 27th, 2008, 23:38 PM

Tricky one. My DH´s ex works just round the corner from where we live and when she finishes work she goes in the bar he works in and sits at the bar with her miserable face on!! (Can you tell I don´t like her). They split up 2 years ago, she instigated this split, but now she keeps asking him is he sure he´s happy (ie with me). When I go in his work to see him, the bar staff and all her friends seem to take her side and give me the evils. Bloody people!! Still I go in cos I feel I have as much of a right to go in as anyone, and more right to be there when he´s there than she has (if that sounds right!).

I try to steer clear of my exes and have as little as possible to do with the above mentioned one of his. They can be poisonous!!!

Sorry to rant on someone else´s thread xxx

Shinning_Star · Jul 28th, 2008, 01:03 AM

hmmmmmmmmm, I ahve one ex whom i was married to divorced at 21, we have each others number. we're there for each other in dia circumstances but other than a hi and all that we're not in regular contact. we just know where each of us are shld we need one another.
My ex my ds's dad is a comp arse,and has no contact with me or ds. so thats nt even an issue and we'd never be friends sadly.
Then there's the ex I was seeing when me and dp got together and although admitedly it wasn't a in love rel and was mainly physical, i stopped contacting him but on odd occasions emailed him as he is out at sea and wanted to be a mate. He never txts me anymore although there have been a few emails asking how I am, checking I'm ok and one saying he was sorry he lost me. But thats it. All of the above dp knows abt and does get jealous a little, but he knows theres nothing there, his biggest fear is the most recent one, the one i left for dp. LOL go figure. Anyway he said he wasn't comfortable me emailing him, but understood if I wanted to, so as it lays if i do get an email, I reply and let dp know!

Dp on other hand has an ex which is his dd's mum, they are not friends but they are very very gd abt his daughter, so there are regular texts too and fro but always abt his dd. The lady he was seeing before me, was contacting him intially, but dp just didn't feel need to reply, even though I didn't honestly mind at all. But she no longer contacts him anymore and I wouldn't even know if he still had her number.
Then there's this mad women who at first was alwasy txting dp not even an ex, just a acquaintance, she slags me off continually when she gets the chance and messes abt too. Dp has deleted her number and not had txts from her since his birthday. she's a real fruit cake tbh. I told him not to talk to her anymore, but not on a jealousy thing but because she's just so nasty and rude, even before me and dp got 2geva he wld tell me abt her and say how nasty and spiteful she was. I guess if she started to tx more I'd get mad!

So anyway my short reply turned ino a lecture, all depends on circumstances in your position nicnac i'd be pissed off tbh, not cos you don't trust him but cos she basically being a pain and trying to get involved where she shldn't be!

Nicnac · Aug 6th, 2008, 09:20 AM

Hi,

Have been off for a while and just got bak in to read up on this thread. I was feeling a little peeved this morning. OH was being a bit of an arse! But after reading through all your posts I feel so much better...thank you

It means so much to read that you're not alone in these thoughts. But it's also refreshing to hear that friends with exes does work too. I think it does depend alot on how you split up.

With OH and ex it was after a deteriation of their relationship and then a break which never resumed. I think I may have been shortly after that, well that's what I'm told. Maybe she knows different?!?!

Thanks again for all your posts!

Big

GemGems · Aug 6th, 2008, 10:12 AM

I think if my OH still had contact with his ex, we wouldn't be together right now!! We are like best friends and have known eachother for years. He'd been with his ex for 5-6 years when we got together. She was a total and utter loon. Very possesive/demanding/jealous/naurotic. So, when he met up with me again he said he realised that he didn't have to put up with her crap for the rest of his life. Anyway, it took a while for him to get over her. He obviously loved her very much and i was always there to support him when he'd get upset after having to see her about the house etc. I know you're probably thinking its totally weird that i was so understanding about him being so upset over her. But i'm not naive and i know full well that our relationship is TOTALLY different than theirs was. Anyway, he made the decision to cut ties with her all together. He knew he definitely wanted to be with me, but she'd made such an impact on his life that it was quite hard to let go. But i know full well, if she was to somehow get in contact with him again i would NOT be happy. Especially now that we're happy and having a baby together.

OH has lots of female friends, most of whom i know too. I trust him 100% and know that he'd never go behind my back. He's the sort of guy that would die from the guilt of cheating on the mother of his child.

So yeah. It all depends on the circumstances i suppose. i'm not in contact with any of my exes. They're not worth it!!!

BeckyBoo · Aug 6th, 2008, 10:16 AM

I'm mates with an ex, but my partner doesn't see him as a mate. Mind you I'm not in contact with him that often. The odd hello and how are you doing. But if Stuart was mates with an EX, it would get on my goat. I trust him, but with an EX it's just scary lol.

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