bexy_22

I'm watching Sally Jesse Raphael and the topic is "You got my teen daughter pregnant, now marry her" and they are being really strict about it. The girl on it at the minute (who is 17, her OH is 18.) said "just because we aren't getting married doesn't mean we don't love each other" but her mother and Sally Jesse are like "well if you aren't married he will find it much easier to get up and say, I've had enough, I'm leaving." I can see where they're both coming from but I'm 18 and my OH is 21 and we aren't married and have no plans on getting married anytime soon and we have no problems. Surely forcing a couple to marry because the girl is pregnant would do more worse than good? Knowing you got married for that reason and not because it was the right time.

What do people think on this subject??

rafwife

I don't think marriage makes it harder to walk out on someone, but I do think having a baby does. My brother in law and his girlfriend has a child and aren't married. Don't really see the fuss to be honest. They're happy and if they're happy then their child is too.

Tilly

I wouldn't want to get married just because I got pregnant, definitely not the right reason.

Me, my boyfriend and little girl are family in our eyes, we don't need to be married to prove it to people. I disagree with them completely but maybe they think he is the type of guy to walk out and want him to commit - hard to say without seeing isn't it.

polo_princess

I agree.

If you want to walk out on someone you dont need to be married to do that

Becky

me and my OH have no desire to get married at the moment!! we both love each other dearly and have made every other commitment in the book at the moment a pieces of paper and a ring on our finger wont change and can wait!! plus both our parents are divorced so we never had a very positive view on marriage!! were happy and our child will be love married or unmarried!!

x

Mynxie

Personally I wouldn't want to have a child out of wedlock - I wouldn't want any of us to have a different surname and I wouldn't want my child to be called a *******. When I was pregnant the first time, we really started planning the wedding more. Obviously I lost LO but we still got married.

However, I wouldn't impose my views and personal beliefs about it onto anyone - each to their own

Newt

I have old values too and would like for us to get married. OH is not too keep though, it kind of gets on my nerves a bit kind of the old "its not that he doesnt wanna get married, he just doesnt wanna marry you" sometimes pops to mind. We are happy though and very much together. I don't know what the situation is in the US but I dont think it really matters here. I walked away from my ex hubby, it was easy.
Having a child does change things though. Cant get rid of OH's ex beeeeeeeaTCH!!!

Mynxie

that word is astrixed out - but I was using it as it's proper meaning

bexy_22

I did want to have a child when I was married however it's not worked out like that and I don't see any problem with it. Marriage to me is a commitment but at the end of the day, it's just a ring and a bit of paper. This programme is p***ing me right off because they're saying things like "so what if you can't afford a big wedding, just go to a registry office and get it done cheap." What's the point?? Then I suppose Americans tend to be quite religious.

Mynxie

I just had a registery office do - wasn't realistic to have the church like we'd planned. We said that we'd renew our vows if things changed with my health though