Not going back to work- how best to handle this

indy and lara · Mar 4th, 2010, 12:05 PM

I am due to go back to work in June but have been hoping for a while that I would be able to put it off. Things are looking promising and it is likely that I am going to take a career break for another year and stay at home with Emma. We are really fortunate that OH's job is able to support the 3 of us but we have been waiting to see if there was guaranteed work for the next wee while before making a decision.

So here's the thing. I am not sure how to tell people. I feel that it sounds wrong if I say that i want to spend more time with Emma because lots of the people I work with and other friends would like to do that too but they can't. I don't want to sound as if I am being smug when I say I am not going back. OH says that I am making a mountain out of a molehill and it is no big deal but we all know that returning to work is such a sensitive issue and I don't want to upset folk.

What do you think?

marley2580 · Mar 4th, 2010, 12:14 PM

I agree with your OH tbh. You say your friends would like to be able to do it, so I think they'd be quite supportive.

suzib76 · Mar 4th, 2010, 17:04 PM

i dont see the issue tbh hun
go back, dont go back its all your choice and if you mention to people you are not going back you certainly dont have to justify your decision

Blah11 · Mar 4th, 2010, 17:06 PM

I agree with your OH too. I don't envy or resent SAHMs although I'd love to be one myself.

MrsGlitz · Mar 4th, 2010, 17:34 PM

A lot of mothers only return to work because they have to, I agree with your OH.

indy and lara · Mar 5th, 2010, 03:12 AM

Thank you for your replies. Don't think that I explained this very well. I have no doubts about not going back to work. I don't swither as to whether it is the right thing for me at all, I know that it is.

What I mean is how do I tell people that I am not. I have told a few people so far and have then had a pile of questions about how we can afford it and been told that it wasn't an option for them so they have to go back even though they dont want to. I was more hoping to see how best people thought I could explain myself without having to get into all that. When I said to someone that I just wanted to spend a bit more time with Emma they said that they everyone wants to do that but they have to go back to work.

Never mind- thanks anyway!

suzib76 · Mar 5th, 2010, 03:34 AM

dont get drawn into justifying it hun, not in any way - its your decision
i would just say somehting along the lines of im not going back to work........yet and then quickly change the subject lol distraction techniques work well for adults too

and as for people questioning your financial situ, i think thats just wrong, i wouldnt discuss these details with anyone

im working on sunday and Lana is only 8 weeks today, but i am doing it because i WANT to, not becasue we need the money and i have already had a few comments about we must be skint etc but i just laugh it off and change the subject

AtomicPink · Mar 5th, 2010, 03:42 AM

I'm in the same position, and people kept asking when was coming back. I told them there really was no point and life is oo short, I'd rather spend these early years with LO. The general answer I've had from people is " I would do the same if I was in your shoes".

And if you don't get a supportive response then they are jealous. Jealous that you can stay at home with your LO, or jealous that you arent going back to work

**polo_princess** · Mar 5th, 2010, 04:05 AM

I wouldnt bother trying to justify yourself, if people start probing you then politley just tell them its none of their business, as ultimatley it isnt

Mar 4th, 2010, 12:05 PM	#1
indy and lara Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,775	Not going back to work- how best to handle this I am due to go back to work in June but have been hoping for a while that I would be able to put it off. Things are looking promising and it is likely that I am going to take a career break for another year and stay at home with Emma. We are really fortunate that OH's job is able to support the 3 of us but we have been waiting to see if there was guaranteed work for the next wee while before making a decision. So here's the thing. I am not sure how to tell people. I feel that it sounds wrong if I say that i want to spend more time with Emma because lots of the people I work with and other friends would like to do that too but they can't. I don't want to sound as if I am being smug when I say I am not going back. OH says that I am making a mountain out of a molehill and it is no big deal but we all know that returning to work is such a sensitive issue and I don't want to upset folk. What do you think?

Status: Online

Mar 4th, 2010, 12:14 PM	#2
marley2580 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Forfar Posts: 6,100	I agree with your OH tbh. You say your friends would like to be able to do it, so I think they'd be quite supportive.

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Mar 4th, 2010, 17:04 PM	#3
suzib76 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4,693	i dont see the issue tbh hun go back, dont go back its all your choice and if you mention to people you are not going back you certainly dont have to justify your decision

Status: Online

Mar 4th, 2010, 17:06 PM	#4
Blah11 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 32,874	I agree with your OH too. I don't envy or resent SAHMs although I'd love to be one myself.

Status: Offline

Mar 4th, 2010, 17:34 PM	#5
MrsGlitz Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bournemouth, Dorset Posts: 3,150	A lot of mothers only return to work because they have to, I agree with your OH.

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Mar 5th, 2010, 03:12 AM	#6
indy and lara Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,775	Thank you for your replies. Don't think that I explained this very well. I have no doubts about not going back to work. I don't swither as to whether it is the right thing for me at all, I know that it is. What I mean is how do I tell people that I am not. I have told a few people so far and have then had a pile of questions about how we can afford it and been told that it wasn't an option for them so they have to go back even though they dont want to. I was more hoping to see how best people thought I could explain myself without having to get into all that. When I said to someone that I just wanted to spend a bit more time with Emma they said that they everyone wants to do that but they have to go back to work. Never mind- thanks anyway!

Status: Online

Mar 5th, 2010, 03:34 AM	#7
suzib76 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 4,693	dont get drawn into justifying it hun, not in any way - its your decision i would just say somehting along the lines of im not going back to work........yet and then quickly change the subject lol distraction techniques work well for adults too and as for people questioning your financial situ, i think thats just wrong, i wouldnt discuss these details with anyone im working on sunday and Lana is only 8 weeks today, but i am doing it because i WANT to, not becasue we need the money and i have already had a few comments about we must be skint etc but i just laugh it off and change the subject

Status: Online

Mar 5th, 2010, 03:42 AM	#8
AtomicPink Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 19,122	I'm in the same position, and people kept asking when was coming back. I told them there really was no point and life is oo short, I'd rather spend these early years with LO. The general answer I've had from people is " I would do the same if I was in your shoes". And if you don't get a supportive response then they are jealous. Jealous that you can stay at home with your LO, or jealous that you arent going back to work

Status: Offline

Mar 5th, 2010, 04:05 AM	#9
polo_princess Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 45,510	I wouldnt bother trying to justify yourself, if people start probing you then politley just tell them its none of their business, as ultimatley it isnt

Status: Offline

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