Samantha675

So a man I know from another message board, and have met as well is losing his wife. She is very soon going to die from cancer. They are in their 40's and this is just the saddest thing ever. I don't know what to say, or what not to say. I have never been in this situation. It makes me mad because they are such lovley people, and it of course makes me terribly sad thinking of him losing his wife at such a young age. This is just so unfair.

So I am hoping that some of you can help me if you have been in this kind of situation. Granted I am sure anything I say to him does not really fully register right now, but I don't want to say the wrong thing.

toriaaaaTRASH

I don't think there's any right or wrong in this situation. You'll never know what's wrong to say to this person as how he is feeling about it is completely different to how anyone else would feel. No one takes it the same way. Alot of people hate people saying "I'm sorry that's happening to you," but with other people all they want to hear is "that sucks and I'm sorry it's happening to you." Meh, I'm no help. I guess you just have to try your best to know what to say when it comes to talking to him, and if you do say the wrong thing, don't worry, just apologise and hope that he can understand.

Vickie

I don't really think there is a right thing to say in this situation, it's such a hard thing to have to go through. Just try to be there for him, tell him that you're available if he ever needs anything or even just needs to talk

Samantha675

Thanks ladies, it is just a shit situation.

amy_tea

Just let them know you are there if they need to talk. I dont think there is a right or wrong thing to say.


xxx

supernurse

Dealing with death, whether it's happened or is gonna happen is never an easy thing to do. Even though I have to face this at work it never gets any easier and I still sometimes never know what to say to families.

I think your friend will just appreciate knowing that you are there if he needs you. Just ask him if there is anything you can do to help. You can kind of tell from the way people communicate with you whether they want to be open about it or not. xx

Jo

I agree just let him know you will be there for him if he needs you

one o of things to maybe avoid saying is
"she's in a better place etc.." some people find comfort in that and some find it offensive

It is a really hard thing to deal with and sometimes the best meaning wishes can be taken the wrong way through no fault of your own

MrTashaAndBum

On one hand you can be sympathetic... on the other you can offer support. Instead of "I'm so sorry for you", how about: "I know this is a hard time - what can I do to help you both?"... I dunno... its just what I'd do....

hope it helps - good luck....

Rachel16+Bump

last month i lost my grandad to cancer, which i dont think is the same as losing husband/wife but still it hurt like hell. i wasnt really bothered what people said to me really because some days it went in one ear an out the other, i just needed to know i had the support there when i needed it and that i could lose my temper with them or cry to them an they would still be there for me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend losing his wife. just make sure he knows you will be there if he ever needs to talk or let things out, which is kinda important to those who are grieving (about to begin the process of grieving) xxx