How big a family do you come from and how big a family do you want?

I always said if we had a boy first, then I'd try for a girl, and if we had a girl first I'd stick with just her.

Then I decided I only wanted one, no matter what the sex. We have a boy and I love him to pieces and never considered the fact that I didn't have a girl until recently. I've got a bit consumed with wanting a girl now, but I wouldn't be distraught if I had a boy.

But the fact is, I only want one baby.. I think? I think it's because me and my sister have such a rubbish relationship. I spent my whole life wishing I was an only child, I was so jealous of this girl at school that was an only child. Everyone told me I'm mean having only one as he'll be lonely/bored etc. but all I remember from my childhood is locking myself in my room away from my sister and doing my own thing anyway! I hated sharing my mum with my sister, hated her stealing my things, ruining days out with her tantrums, picking on me etc. (she was younger but bigger and stronger). As it is now, we don't talk. However, I wonder if this is what's mostly influencing my decision. I really want to give Theakston everything, all my time, my money, everything he could ever want. I have lovely visions of just the three of us, me, Oh, and Theakston going on holiday together or whatever. And with holidays and stuff our argument has always been that he can go to kids clubs and make friends when he's young and then join us on day trips and stuff when he's older. When we went on holiday I always went off with my parents and my sister joined the kids clubs.

Now, though, I'm thinking what about those time when me and OH just want a bit of us time and having more than one kid, they can keep each other occupied, play games etc. Also with trips out and stuff, it might be nicer for them to have someone else to talk to and enjoy things with. I wonder if I'm being selfish wanting Theakston all to myself. Like, I have these lovely ideas of me and him doing everything together but in reality I think, what if he's a real boys boy and just wants to play Xbox all day with his dad?

I also hate the idea of having to make everything equal. Like, if my parents buy me something, my sister has to have something of equal value otherwise it's "not fair" and she throws a tantrum. I'm very much an impulse buyer and get thoughtful gifts and stuff. If I see something I think Theakston would like I love to just buy it for him and hate the thougt that if we had two kids I'd then have to trawl town looking for something the other kid might like to make it 'equal'.

What is everyone elses views? How did you find being an only child or coming from a big family? Has this influenced your decision on how many children to have?

I have 2 older sisters. I would like another baby myself at some point but i think i want quite a big age gap between them.

Yeah I'm thinking a big age gap is good as then they have more independence and if they were the same sex then there's less competition or copying. It always drove me mad that my sister tried to copy me all the time and I was mortified when she was old enough to drink and started coming in my regular haunts!

I was an only child and I am now desperate for a big family, i was quite lonely, my mum spoilt me with loads of stuff, i never wanted for anything.

Now she still spoils me and now hubby too and baby but i moved away and she struggles missing me, and i wish there were more so she wouldn't be so upset.

However i think everyone is different, be prepared that one day he will grow up and potentially get married, move away etc.

I wouldn't say its cruel to be an only child and i certainly got a lot of attention and money spent on me but i think i would have preferred having a sibling, but that's just me.

Whatever you decide will be right for you x

Thanks, it's nice to hear from an only child's perspective.

I love my brothers, I couldn't imagine life without them but I was always jealous of girls who had a sister, so I really wanted dd1 to have a sister and now we have they fight like cat and dog a lot Dhs sisters have a great relationship though. I think you just have to go with what you think is best, there's never any guarantee that your kid will enjoy having siblings/long for siblings. sometimes having a big gap between siblings can help avoid a situation where squabbles and whining about equal treatment occur, but there's still no guarantees. I have two brothers, dh has two sisters. we want a family of 3.

I have a sister and a brother my brother is 4 years older than me and my sister is 2 years older as kids we hardly ever got along but i still remember the fun we all used to have together and I wouldn change that ever.I dont see my brother much any more hes a waste of space tbh but me and my sister are soooo close we speak on the phone about 7 times a day i dont know what id do without her! Oh was an only child and he was terribly lonely even though he had friends he said nothing made up for not having siblings.oh will never be a "real" uncle.imo i could never just have one child for lots of reasons but thats whats right for me and oh.

I was the middle of 3 children and I hated it and I still do!! There is 5 years between me and my eldest sister and youngest sister. I have a boy and a girl and there is 22mths between them, IMO its the perfect age gap and I have one of each sex, there own room etc so I think I will keep it that way now.

I'd love to have a girl but obviously can't guarantee it!! You can't bank on anything like them getting on, or being a certain sex etc. I'm thinking if we TTC it'll be in Jan/Feb so if we caught first cycle like this time there'd be a 27month age gap. I'd like to think I'd had no.2 before he was 3. There was a 3 year gap between me and my sister but the circumstances were quite unique as to why my sister was so spoilt (not going to say on public forum because it's not 'my' news as it were). I don't remember it from when we were babies but my uncle and aunt always talk about how they felt sorry for me. I do remember that whenever we argued, my parents always took my sisters side (and still do!).

i have 2 brothers. no idea how many i want. my dh is also one of three.
id love a big family but only if i had lots of money!
and i also wouldnt mind just the one. it just sound so hard having more than one.