How many kids? - Page 3

Eala · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:04 PM

I'm the younger of 2 children. My brother is 6 years older than me. We're estranged now, for very good (but very personal) reasons. I always swore that if my first had been a boy, then I'd only have one, as I do not want something awful to happen and somehow my childhood repeat itself if by chance I had a girl 2nd time.

I really don't know how I feel about having a second child. In fact, I could just about have written bits of your post myself, Kitten

Part of me wants to be satisfied with my gorgeous daughter, and give her the world. Another part of me would like one more.

I guess for me, it comes down to it might never happen anyway, as we were told we'd need ICSI to conceive. I found out I was pregnant naturally 5 days after my ICSI screening

I've 2 years left of my training when I finish mat leave, so there would be at least a 3.5 year age gap if we did somehow manage to fall pregnant again. I suppose I should worry about it then

tasha41 · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:07 PM

My OH is one of 3 children with 5 first cousins on one side and like.. 14 (though I'm sure I've missed some) on the other side. A lot of his cousins also have kids and they are very close with his mom's cousins... I really like having the big family around.. (they all live in the same city as us whereas my family is spread out all over Ontario)..

I feel bad that my LO won't have cousins for a very long time (siblings are 18, 18, 16, 14 and none really date lol).. so maybe we do have to have one more

Kitten · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:37 PM

I'm reaaaally torn.

On the one hand I think if I just had one it'd be good because:
- I could give him all my free time & money
- He would have independence & imagination and stuff
- He could socialise with friends when lonely
- I'd worry about treating them equally and them bickering etc.
- I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love him and hate the thought of not giving him my full attention

One the other hand:
- I worry that he would be lonely when I'm busy doing housework or whatever
- If we had 2, I would be a SAHM (I'm going back to work part time in a month and think that's why I've started thinking about this) so would spend more time with him BUT I'd have the other baby to look after
- I don't want to turn round in 10 years and think 'what if'
- I'm still a bit hung up on wanting a girl but couldn't guarantee one anyway!

I think it'll come down to whether broodiness kick in full-on, and how my return to work goes.

kiwimama · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:41 PM

I have a younger sister, who is 4 years younger than me. We have always been very close - we fought like cats and dogs often when we were kids but still played together alot (even though she was a girly girl and I was a tomboy!) I love having a sister.
OH and I have always said if we have a boy next that will be it for us. I haven't told OH this, but I would love to have a girl next - just because I want Ella to have that great sister relationship that I've had with my sister. Then we could have another - and I'd hope that one would be a boy! OH really would love a boy. TBH I'm worried I wouldn't know quite what to do or how to relate to a boy - I've never been around boys, not close to my boy cousins and not even really close with my dad so I'd be clueless!!

Kitten · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:41 PM

I think it's also a case of realising all my mistakes, as it were, and wanting a second chance at parenting Theakston more than anything. I thought I really didn't want another but then I realised I was keeping all his baby clothes and stuff 'just in case' so had to have a look inside myself again, heh.

Sweetie · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:46 PM

I'm the oldest of two, three years between us (both girls) We had an ok relationship growing up, went through a couple of phases that we both went our own ways on.

Ideally I'd like to have 3 or 4 children. We're baking #2 right now and in the end they will be just under 2 years apart. We'll probably not be using any contraception until after we are done having children as we would like them pretty close together.

xxxjacxxx · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:48 PM

I am one of three. I have two younger brothers who'm I dont see much of at all...

I already have 4 kids and wouldn't rule out another but wouldn't entertain the idea just yet!

jackiea85 · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:48 PM

I was an only child until I was 14 when my little (half) sister came along (I also have 2 half siblings that I never see and I have never lived with them so I don't count them!). I want 2 babies about 2-3 years apart. I remember being very bored and lonely to be honest, but I think only children can be very happy when given enough attention (not that my mum didn't try, she just had to work a lot as my dad wasn't around) x

Kitten · Feb 16th, 2010, 16:53 PM

See this is another idea I have to toy with, my husband sometimes has to work away, at the moment it's 3-4 times a year anything from 4 days - 6 weeks at a time. I worry that I wouldn't be able to cope with 2, but also that I wouldn't have enough time to spend on Theakston with having to do everything round the house while he's away and that he'd benefit more from having a sibling to play with at such times.

I think a massive part of me wants another just so I can stay home with them both. My OH is a great dad (so far) and so I'm confident that in the beginning when the new baby is newborn, he'd be able to give Theakston a lot of attention when I'm busy breastfeeding and all that jazz.

It's so hard to know what would be best for him.

dizzyspells · Feb 16th, 2010, 17:03 PM

I am one of 3 but always felt like an only child as my Brother and Sister are 10 & 14yrs older than me.(I was the accident that they didnt think could happen!!lol).

Mia was not planned but very much wanted and we decided that we wanted another but wanted about 4-5yrs age gap.We ended up with 5.5 yrs which has worked out fantastic for us as Mia is at School and quite independent.We are pretty sure thats our lot and we dont want any more we are very lucky and have our 2 amazing children but who knows!!x

Feb 16th, 2010, 16:04 PM	#21
Eala Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Glasgow Posts: 7,221	I'm the younger of 2 children. My brother is 6 years older than me. We're estranged now, for very good (but very personal) reasons. I always swore that if my first had been a boy, then I'd only have one, as I do not want something awful to happen and somehow my childhood repeat itself if by chance I had a girl 2nd time. I really don't know how I feel about having a second child. In fact, I could just about have written bits of your post myself, Kitten Part of me wants to be satisfied with my gorgeous daughter, and give her the world. Another part of me would like one more. I guess for me, it comes down to it might never happen anyway, as we were told we'd need ICSI to conceive. I found out I was pregnant naturally 5 days after my ICSI screening I've 2 years left of my training when I finish mat leave, so there would be at least a 3.5 year age gap if we did somehow manage to fall pregnant again. I suppose I should worry about it then

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:07 PM	#22
tasha41 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hamilton, Canada Posts: 23,921	My OH is one of 3 children with 5 first cousins on one side and like.. 14 (though I'm sure I've missed some) on the other side. A lot of his cousins also have kids and they are very close with his mom's cousins... I really like having the big family around.. (they all live in the same city as us whereas my family is spread out all over Ontario).. I feel bad that my LO won't have cousins for a very long time (siblings are 18, 18, 16, 14 and none really date lol).. so maybe we do have to have one more

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:37 PM	#23
Kitten Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Crawley, England Posts: 6,343	I'm reaaaally torn. On the one hand I think if I just had one it'd be good because: - I could give him all my free time & money - He would have independence & imagination and stuff - He could socialise with friends when lonely - I'd worry about treating them equally and them bickering etc. - I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love him and hate the thought of not giving him my full attention One the other hand: - I worry that he would be lonely when I'm busy doing housework or whatever - If we had 2, I would be a SAHM (I'm going back to work part time in a month and think that's why I've started thinking about this) so would spend more time with him BUT I'd have the other baby to look after - I don't want to turn round in 10 years and think 'what if' - I'm still a bit hung up on wanting a girl but couldn't guarantee one anyway! I think it'll come down to whether broodiness kick in full-on, and how my return to work goes.

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:41 PM	#24
kiwimama Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 6,389	I have a younger sister, who is 4 years younger than me. We have always been very close - we fought like cats and dogs often when we were kids but still played together alot (even though she was a girly girl and I was a tomboy!) I love having a sister. OH and I have always said if we have a boy next that will be it for us. I haven't told OH this, but I would love to have a girl next - just because I want Ella to have that great sister relationship that I've had with my sister. Then we could have another - and I'd hope that one would be a boy! OH really would love a boy. TBH I'm worried I wouldn't know quite what to do or how to relate to a boy - I've never been around boys, not close to my boy cousins and not even really close with my dad so I'd be clueless!!

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:41 PM	#25
Kitten Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Crawley, England Posts: 6,343	I think it's also a case of realising all my mistakes, as it were, and wanting a second chance at parenting Theakston more than anything. I thought I really didn't want another but then I realised I was keeping all his baby clothes and stuff 'just in case' so had to have a look inside myself again, heh.

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:46 PM	#26
Sweetie Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Edmonton, AB Posts: 4,674	I'm the oldest of two, three years between us (both girls) We had an ok relationship growing up, went through a couple of phases that we both went our own ways on. Ideally I'd like to have 3 or 4 children. We're baking #2 right now and in the end they will be just under 2 years apart. We'll probably not be using any contraception until after we are done having children as we would like them pretty close together.

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:48 PM	#27
xxxjacxxx AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: N. Wales Posts: 15,770	I am one of three. I have two younger brothers who'm I dont see much of at all... I already have 4 kids and wouldn't rule out another but wouldn't entertain the idea just yet!

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:48 PM	#28
jackiea85 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,398	I was an only child until I was 14 when my little (half) sister came along (I also have 2 half siblings that I never see and I have never lived with them so I don't count them!). I want 2 babies about 2-3 years apart. I remember being very bored and lonely to be honest, but I think only children can be very happy when given enough attention (not that my mum didn't try, she just had to work a lot as my dad wasn't around) x

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Feb 16th, 2010, 16:53 PM	#29
Kitten Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Crawley, England Posts: 6,343	See this is another idea I have to toy with, my husband sometimes has to work away, at the moment it's 3-4 times a year anything from 4 days - 6 weeks at a time. I worry that I wouldn't be able to cope with 2, but also that I wouldn't have enough time to spend on Theakston with having to do everything round the house while he's away and that he'd benefit more from having a sibling to play with at such times. I think a massive part of me wants another just so I can stay home with them both. My OH is a great dad (so far) and so I'm confident that in the beginning when the new baby is newborn, he'd be able to give Theakston a lot of attention when I'm busy breastfeeding and all that jazz. It's so hard to know what would be best for him.

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Feb 16th, 2010, 17:03 PM	#30
dizzyspells Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Skipton but soon will be Spain again! Posts: 7,670	I am one of 3 but always felt like an only child as my Brother and Sister are 10 & 14yrs older than me.(I was the accident that they didnt think could happen!!lol). Mia was not planned but very much wanted and we decided that we wanted another but wanted about 4-5yrs age gap.We ended up with 5.5 yrs which has worked out fantastic for us as Mia is at School and quite independent.We are pretty sure thats our lot and we dont want any more we are very lucky and have our 2 amazing children but who knows!!x

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