I posted about this on another thread in the baby club. I went to boarding school at 12 for good, valid family reasons. Boarding schools are not just for military families, or for people who work long hours - there are a million and one reasons why a family may make the decision that baording school is best for their child, the same way as we make decisions about what is best for our children all the time.
The youngest boarders in my school were nine and the vast majority of them settled in very quickly and loved being there. Some of the day girls went on to become boarders as they nagged their parents about it because they felt they were missing out on a huge part of school life - a lot of the younger day girls slept over with their boarding friends regularly as well. Two young sisters in my school left to go to a day school but tragically lost their parents in an accident shortly afterwards. They chose to return to my school because that is where they felt secure in a time of such turmoil.
I enjoyed boarding - I didn't feel abandoned by my family in any way. I feel it helped me grow up independent and self-sufficient - when I went to university there were people all around me crying because they had never been away from home before. None of the boarding-school graduates had any difficulty adjusting.
I think if a child is loved and supported in their home life, then they are unlikely to have difficulty adjusting to life at boarding school. It is not as though your parents have just disappeared - you know where they are and you know they will come if you really need them. I suspect the children who never adjust to boarding school may have some reason for that - either a difficult homelife leading to the feeling they have been pushed away somehow, or perhaps very clingy parents who have never let the child out of their sight. A well-adjusted child is likely (not definitely - there are always going to be children who struggle with separation from their families) to settle in and enjoy boarding school.
Funnily enough, it was always easier for children to settle at school if they didn't see too much of their parents in the first few weeks - my school asked families not to visit at weekends for the first 2 weeks to allow the child time to settle down and find their feet. The mother of one girl in my boarding house had problems letting go (not sure why they sent the girl to boarding school to be honest!) and kept visiting every weekend, telephoning every night and sometimes turning up in the evenings (which was not allowed) and begging for extra visits and the little girl never settled down. She would be perfectly happy during the week if she had been left to get on with things and then she would see her mother at the weekend and get very upset and clingy again and it would take a few days for her to get back to normal - just in time for her mother to turn up again. She eventually became a weekly boarder which worked out better.
I think that children need solid roots, and if they have those, they won't struggle with exploring the world outside their immediate family.

We do need some people to be in the military however!

Yerp we do
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Yes there are other careers but the military is needed by everyone. Who do we rely on when the firemen are on strike? who is it that provide alot of support to the emergency services when things happen like floods? and most important who are the ones who go out and risk their lives fighting for this country? it sure as hell isn't the people who work 8hrs a day in an office or factory, just because they have chosen to join the military and have a family doesn't make them selfish. IMO it would be more selfish of someone to be in that situation and insist on dragging their child from pillar to post

Assistance with good quality education is also one of the potential perks for military families.....

I so desperately wanted to go to boarding school. I didnt move around a lot when I was little but I wasnt keen on the school and my mother was neurotic!

If I was offered for Emma to do it, I would send her but only for secondary, provided it would benefit her. We have one local that still takes days and boarders I think, and I would love to send her there as a day pupil - then if she wants to board she can.

But, if I had to chose between a bad local school and a boarding one I would pick the boarding as I feel that if you don't teach them how to learn productively from an early age you can lose them forever - like happened to me.

I personally don't understand it & I never have I couldn't deal with it.

I couldn't deal with being in the military either, or having on OH who was. Sorry just calling it the way I see it.

I had my son to love him watch him grow spend time with him. I want to be the one taking him to school, waving him goodbye at the gates, picking him up & tucking him in at night not someone else. i struggle with working full time & not spending time with him as it is.

Im not judging anyone because Ive never been in the situationSo I can't say, just calling it the way I see it.

x

Children almost always prefer to be with their friends from a certain age, I used to dream about living at school with all my friends... that doesn't mean it was the right thing. Children of a primary school age are far too young to be living away from home and between the ages of 11 and 15 are crucial, formative years when it comes to the development of your entire adult personality... I, for one, would like to play a part in this and watch my daughter grow from day to day.

I'm not saying children don't enjoy boarding school, I'm not even saying it damages them... but just because something isn't harmful doesn't make it right.

As for independence, OH and I have always been very independent people and from very young ages. We were the most independent people at uni... but we didn't go to boarding school... That's down to parenting and you don't need to send your child to boarding school to instil in them such life skills. In fact, all the "benefits" of boarding school are things any good parent could provide.

The country needs a military, fine... but the military don't need children. That might offend people, I'm aware, but I feel strongly enough about this to say that, if you don't intend to provide a stable enough home life for your child because you are prioritising your career/your country first and foremost and have to place them into boarding school because, as a result, there is a better option than being with their family then I don't think you should have children. If you want children, you should be prepared to make sacrifices. They deserve that much.

You don't have to agree and many of you won't but that is what I feel about it.

My number one passion is my family and it always will be and I can't stand the thought of somebody else taking any part in raising my daughter.

What so servicemen shouldn't have children, if they know they have to move about alot and have to put them in a boarding shcool?

You have seen from Kit's post and Jenny have said they both had positive experinces so It cant be bad for all children. I think this is a very personal thing. some children like it some don't. If the child likes it then I really do no see the harm.

My brother is in the army and before him and his wife split up he used to move around a lot and they just couldn't settle. That really affected the children as well. So it seem's you cant win. These parents are trying to give the most stable unbringing they can and some think that boarding school is the best answere. It does not make them selfish, bad people, bad parents or lazy. In fact I think it makes them very good parents because they are trying to do what they feel best for their child

Anyway every one is entilted to their own opinion and I respect that. Everyone
xx