Me and my partner are currently TTC and we are already having 'disagreements' over religion. He has be brought up in a relatively strict christian family. I was brought up to believe what I want. I never had my mothers beliefs forced upon me. So, naturally, I do not follow religion now, whereas my partner does.
This is a big thing for him, and his family will probably throw a 'spag' fit at me. It's just something that is worrying me and if we don't come up with a solution then i'm not willing to have a baby with him.
I was wondering if anyone else has had any problems like this and how they resolved it..
Personally, i don't like for anyone to try and push their religious beliefs on others. Does your OH have disagreements with your own religious choices? I don't understand how he would be ok with your own beliefs but want to force his beliefs on a potential child. I don't know, religion can be a very sensitive subject. My parents are 2 different religions, and i was pretty much forced by my father to follow his religion (he was very strong catholic) but he never said no to my mother bringing us kids to temples or lighting incense and praying. Nonetheless 21 years later here i am a Catholic.
I do wish i was given a choice in my family. I didn't mind as a child to have to go to church and such, besides, i was too young to understand religion. But in my teens especially, i wish i was not forced to attend church. It is funny though because i do believe that in the end, i would still have chosen to be a Catholic *shrug*.
You can't change your OH's religion, and he certainly cannot make you believe in anything unless you choose. In my own opinion, i would include the child in both of your religious beliefs but when he/she wants to make their own decisions, they should be allowed to and not forced to. Of course whatever decision you two make, would have to be one you both agree with . I don't want to sway your mind one way or the other, just adding my own 2 cents. Like i mentioned, religion is a sensitive subject, i don't want to start a war here!
thanks for the advice hun.
He doesn't show any aversion to my lack of belief but he's been taught that other religions are 'inferior' so to speak, which in my eyes is wrong. Surely this is not right?! *confusion*
We have so many disagreements over religion (perhaps that should be arguments :S) especially when his parents are involved [grrr]. When we first started seeing each other they made a big deal about him seeing someone who wasn't baptised and didn't follow christianity. I don't want this to affect any children we have but I'm not willing to back down over my beliefs purely to please his family (i'm too stubborn to do that)
I have no problem with religion at all. Doesn't bother me. But like you said, i don't want to force beliefs and values onto a child, they should have their own choice when their older.
I want to teach my child about religion and spirituality so he/she can make their own choice.
I'm just confused and worried about all of this as i feel it could come between me and OH.
I'm not 100% sure but I think part of his worry is to do with the fact that there is not gonna be any official ceremony or...stuff. Godparents etc..
I find it hilarious that we're already thinking about these things and we only decided TTC like 3 days ago, haha.
I personally beleive that all organised religions are fake but i keep that to myself if a person has very strongs beliefs then thats fine in my book just so long as they dont force it on me
The best you can both do is compromise with each other, let him do the god parents things and you tell him that the child should be left to their own devices when it comes to religon.
I had a friend who goes through what i call god phases where she'd force it on her 2 and 3 year old kids i told her dont do that the kids have no concept of who god and jesus are, she agreed and backed down
personally kids shouldnt be taught about religion until they are at least 8 or 9 as most kids under that age only know of the nativity jesus ie the baby version.
I hope you can both work it out and good luck with ttc
i think that it can work hunni u have a freedom of speach at the end of the day ur allow to have an oion i would say to ur oh i respect that ur beleive on what u believe in and i have my opionin and at the end of the day this will make ur baby be dieverstary with other ppl and u can teach they everything u no and let them make an inform decsion x
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. I don't want to sway your mind one way or the other, just adding my own 2 cents. Like i mentioned, religion is a sensitive subject, i don't want to start a war here!
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