FJL

Well i'm half pissed as i'm writing this, I hope you guys and girls don't mind.

Incase you hadn't read, I had to put one of my beloved dogs down yesterday under horrific circumstances. I am just so sad I cannot even begin to explain

This post is just a big whinge and vent but I really need to get it all out.

Our year has royally f**ked us up the a$$ (skewse the language ) just to name a few things that have broken us down bit by bit:

Massive loss of income due to drought, bank troubles, in debt way too deep.

Putting down 2 beloved animals, my dog and my pony.

Various vet bills such as dogs slicing tendons, a broken leg, horse getting colic, a very sick bull, cows dying, sheep dying - all due to very bad luck and nothing else.

Infertility, followed just recently by a false positive preg test.

DH's Mum in and out of hospital...just tonight she has gone back in, no longer knowing where she lives and what day it is - our xmas day may involve us driving 5 hours back and she may not even know who DH is.

My depression coming back several times this year, including thoughts of suicide in my darkest moments - feeling scared to be alone with yourself is oen of the worst things in the world.

Just when I think i'm strong enough to get through all this shit something else happens and I just feel as though I cannot take anymore.

I used to have faith and believe in god and now all of that is shot to shit.

Apart from this year I have had what would be called a less than perfect life, quite a bit of trauma. I know I have a loving family, food to eat, a roof over my head and the best husband in the world, but right now I just feel as though I have nothing.

I just feel so beaten down that I cannot carry on anymore...all at the ripe age of 25.

Thanks for listening

xoxo

Amanda

Oh hunnie, I have no advise, and nothing I can say will make anything feel better, but I didn't want to read and run.

I hope 2008 gives you everything you wish for, and you can put this crappy year behind you.

Wobbles

Oh hun

Im a little stuck for words and feeling very sad for you You have had a tough cruel year no wonder you feel so down. I really hope the new year coming is a brighter one for you I really do.

Try not to think to much of whats just past esspecially whist your drinking - I believe crying helps having that breakdown helps but not witha vodka in one hand if you know what I mean. Give your face a splash to freshen up

please feel free to add me to MSN any time if you need a chat if its random stuff or just need to vent with someone at the other end.

x

FJL

Thanks girls. DH is with me, I will be ok, i'm just so sick of this shit. How much does the ruler of the world (or whoever he or she is) think we can take??

We're good people for christs sake!

FJL

Oh, and i'm onto a nice cup of hot tea...no more beer for me. Just wish I could bloody well stop crying.

Wobbles

Is there anything that unwinds you? Like a hot steamy bubblebath & some candles?

x

coccyx

Ohh, not sure what to say. Easy for me to say but life can be SHIT, but you are strong and will get through. 2008 could be your year, try to think of all the positives in your life 'don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains' (anne frank). Life can be a challenge, try not to be discouraged, hope is not limited. Give that hubby and all those lovely animals ahuge cuddle. I find a good cry and a packet of chocolate hob nobs helps, and i am not trying to belittle how you feel.

Mynxie

sending you some cyber hugs huni, sorry I have no words of comfort to offer but I can offer a shoulder to cry on xxxxxx

Newt

Im so very sorry, I don't know what to say

Iwantone!!!

aasewwww honey i hope 2008 is much better for u xxxxx (((((((hugs)))