This is really confusing but its doing my head in!

My best friend moved to Leeds with her boyfriend about the same time I did. They have a flat together and have had one since september.

She has been 'seeing' people behind his back, She's never slept with anyone, but she's been close, and shes had proper feelings developed for the other guys.

Now shes found out that he slept with someone about a year or so ago and shes threatening to leave him, pack in uni and go back home.

To me, I think that neither are right, but I think that seeing multiple people and having feelings for them is slightly worse than getting drunk and shagging a random girl? But shes gone completely OTT about and shes asking me for advice.

The thing is, I dont know whether to suck it up and tell her what I think, ultimately ruining our friendship but being honest and probably helping her realise that shes just as bad, or sit and listen to her and bite my tongue.

The other thing is she has huge problems with her weight and she recently admitted to me she used to be bulimic, and I really dont want that to happen to her again.

I just wish someone would give her a bit of a slap,you know?!

So what would you tell her? Because Im at my wits end.

xxx

Obviously there is something lacking in their relationship for both of them. Maybe approach it that way? I don't think she would just move back home and give up university. Sounds like she needs to just break up with him, and move into another flat, or find a new flatmate and he can move out.

6 of 1 and half a dozen of theother they are each in the wrong and i think she is sounding off at you for advise coz i bet she feels guilty that she has snog ppl in the past but this time her OH has done the dirty and she feels like she as been sh*t on there is clearly something missing in there relationship mayeb they ave moved too fast for each other and what there freedom bk and b young and single

Sometimes friends do need to give other friends a slap.
I've had a slaps and given slaps. Thats life.
As for the relationship thing, I would stand well back, Suggest to her the option of staying to finish her studies, that is the most important thing surely.

They both want their cake and eat it. However, in a relationship there can't be a rule for one and a different rule for the other.

If she wants him to be monogamous then she needs to be monogamous too. Whether it is physically or emotionally I don't think it really matters monogamy is monogamy. Physically and emotionally.

Personally the best advice is for them to both go their separate ways and she needs to sit down and look at her life and what she wants in life. She can't commit to a relationship physically and not emotionally or the other way round.

But putting aside all the morels which we all know whether we follow them or not, you aren't in the relationship...it's not down to you! It doesn't involve you and it's not fair for her to put that kind of responsibility on your shoulders. It's her life and ultimately her decision.

If she's not happy with that then as your advice tell her to weight up the pros and cons.

Eee I dont even know why I posted that, I didnt realise how awful I sounded. Hormones I got so worked up aboput it last night, I couldnt get to sleep for ages and its not even my problem!

Ive basically told her what I think anyway. She cant have it one way for her and the other way for him, she needs to sit down and talk to him and if she STILL cant trust herself (or him) then to end it. She didnt like it but to be honest, Ive got my own stuff to deal with, Ive always taken other peoples stuff on and now Im the one who needs help and no ones here for me! Theres a lesson to be learnt there.

The main problem now is, theyve both moved from Newcastle into a little one bed flat, have 9 months left on their lease and neither of them can afford to pay it on their own.