...I got my BFP! Can you believe it's been a year since then?
Just been reading my diary for the day after (a bit tearfully I have to confess).
Wanna reminice with me? Here you go...
Day after PG test Have I mentioned I'm pregnant? Still totally unbelievable even 24 hours later. I feel so odd saying it! Yesterday morning as you can imagine was absolutely horrendous and wonderful in equal measures. I woke up at 3.30am desperate for the loo, but determined not to go. I had to take in FMU into hospital and was worried if I went, the one I did later would be too weak. There was no way I could sleep with a full bladder so these two little voices took over in my head: "oooh, you need to wee in the night. Maybe, just maybe..." "don't be daft, you often need to wee in the night, it just depends how much you have to drink during the day" "yeah but you didn't drink anything after 8.30 so that you would have a concentrated wee in the morning" "yeah, but you can't be PG. You don't feel any different and you never have any luck on PG tests. Why would this be any different?" and on and on and on....Arrrrgggghhhh I was exhausted and pretty tearful by the time we got up. On the way to hospital I kept checking my bag for the little pot of wee. I'd put it in a carrier bag and sealed it in case it leaked so they could test from the bag. There was no way I was coming back tomorrow!! I'd also brought all the needles and drugs and sharps bins we had left over back. I knew if it was a BFN I'd want them out of the house. Got to the hospital and more tears in the car park. Pulled myself together and up we went. Gave the sample to the receptionist and sat in the waiting room. Normally I have a nosey at the other folks there and wonder what stage they're at. Don't remember looking at anyone. OH was laughing because they finally put a new magazine in there. All the others are 3 or 4 years old. They kill me when you look at the celebrity couples and the fashions. The nurse called us into a little room. They have a sofa in there so it's quite a nice place to be. She went off to test my sample. I was in floods again and OH was doing his best to comfort me. I kept saying to myself, she's going to come in and say "I'm really sorry, but...". The door opened, it was another nurse who thought the room was empty. A heartrate monitor would have been interesting at that point! Finally after what felt like hours, the nurse came back and said "well, it's good news. You're pregnant". I was screaming and crying and sobbing and laughing and hiccuping all at once. OH and nurse were laughing away at me. The only down side is that my hormone doses have doubled (particularly for OH!!). The nurse said "are you onto your legs yet?" We need to cycle between legs and bum to give each place time to recover. So another big bag of drugs, another load of needles and more bruises. But I don't care!!!! The nurse said I might have a bit of a dead leg this morning from the jab... hmmm... slight underestimation....I'm limping around. That's going to be hard to disguise at work especially when both legs are like that! Rang my Mum at work as soon as we got outside. We're both big criers and she had a similar reaction to me. I could hear her colleagues laughing and cheering in the background which was wonderful. They were hugging her and passing her tissues. Fantastic! I waited for that moment for so long, it felt so good. I just wish I could've seen her face. Rang my Dad at home after that and he was thrilled to bits. You could hear the relief in his voice. He said they'd had a terrible weekend, hardly sleeping. Going home was really odd. We were both really quiet and calm, until OH confessed that he was born ginger and we had a good giggle at that. (Not that there's anything wrong with ginger btw. It's a long story but OH made a terrible faux pas once about a baby with ginger hair). Went out for lunch on way to hospital to see his Mum. She's doing so well, off the oxygen mask now, just one of those nose thingy-ami-bobs and had been sat in a chair for a little while. Should be out of intensive care in the next few days. OH was a real tease. She was saying "well?" and he was saying "what?" all innocent like he had no idea what she meant. In the end, he nodded and said yes. You should've seen the beam on her face. It was worth all the worry of the last couple of weeks. He's not a huge one for emotion, but he looked a little watery eyed. Bless him. After that went to see his Dad who was round at his brother's and told them. They were all really pleased. Texted my colleague at work, who's one of the other Managers and has been covering for me (aka fibbing about where I am) the last few weeks while I've been off. He rang me back and said he was taking me on a "date" when he's in next week to celebrate me coming back to work and being PG. Back to work tomorrow. How the hell am I going to keep this quiet until Xmas? When I woke up this morning it took a little while to hit me again. I'm pregnant and not only that... this means we're having a baby and we're going to be a family. Amazing, absolutely amazing. 
brouht a tear to the eye!
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