thank you so much, all of you, for the info, stories, support and advice!

am very pleased to be able to report that since Friday things have moved along somewhat, as I HAVE A DRESS.

can hardly believe it, actually, how fortuitous it's all been... Friday lunchtime I went on yell.com to find local wedding dress shops. found one that I wouldn't have ordinarily considered local but it's 20 mins further out on the train into Kent from my local train station, and the shop website said it was 2 mins from the station. so since my fiance was home and could have Adam, off I went for my first toe to be dipped in the water!

VERY nice lady answered the door. asked me a bunch of questions, went when I said March 12th THIS YEAR, and directed me towards the sale rack. where I found a dress that was 90% close to the dream dress I found when I first looked 2 years ago. in a size 16 though. (I am pre-preg 10, currently a small 14, hoping to be a small 12 sooner rather than later.)

picked out a couple of other dresses, went in to try them on. this one I loved was too big but she clipped it in and assured me it was easily altered. another one fit perfectly and I liked it ok but didn't love. the third was unsuitable for a christening.

one I loved was practically half price £500, down from £975.

so I left, after asking for the dress's details, and said I expected I'd come back in the week with a friend. she said to call first in case either had gone.

called friend, asked her to go with me again in the morning to see, fully planning on getting this 90% perfect dress!

next morning, after fruitlessly searching online for the dress (for a pic) the night before, I finally got the shop's website to work. and there in the sale section was MY DRESS, definitely IT as they only had the one, in the size 16, asking price £350. that gave me the name of the dress so I thought, quickly run it through eBay and what does eBay turn up but that very same dress, the actual exact dress I tried on no less, on sale through the shop's eBay shop. for £200. DEFINITELY the same dress as on the listing it referenced the shop and suggested it could be collected in person from there and save on the shipping.

so. I met my friend, we decided I'd try on both dresses and she'd then make a song and dance about how the other dress was just perfect for me, suited me so well, exactly right for my style, etc etc etc. even tried on veils and tiaras with the other dress. then left saying we had one other place to look at but expected we'd be back later that day.

on leaving the shop, I called my mother, who was poised to press the buy it now button and asked her to go for it - so we got my practically perfect dress for £300 less than they wanted to sell it to me in the shop itself and £775 less than the original price. I am really happy with it, it'll be shipped Tuesday and with my mum Thur, hopefully, and then she'll bring it to me the following Tue.

need to find a seamstress to alter it and hoping that won't be an issue... was wondering if I went to truly local dress shops they'd give me details of people they use who are good and reliable and can do me at short notice? no idea how that works. also need shoes and underwear - what sort of bra, if any, would I wear under a strapless dress (it is boned and all)? I assume I'd need it before having fittings?

SO relieved to have a dress organised. it is really "me". other than the straplessness, which I don't love (it is the 10% non-perfect part), but I hope to get some sort of wrap/shrug/bolero as well.

other than that, we have been talking today with OH's mum and brainstorming some things. I had an idea, to help emphasise that it is also a christening as well as a wedding party, to fold the napkins at the reception like a terry nappy and make place cards and attach them to blue-headed old-fashioned nappy pins and rest on top of the "nappies" (Adam wears cloth nappies, it is appropriate and I hope cute as well). we're also going to have two separate cakes rather than a 2-tier wedding cake, so one will be a wedding cake and one a christening cake.

also hope to have something simple as table decorations - vases of daffodils or tulips.

my parents, Norwegian family and friends from up north have booked into a local hotel and we are in there, too, for the night before and the wedding night.

invites will be going out on Tuesday or Wednesday!

my flowers - MIGHT be long-stemmed dark red roses and maybe some white freesias. something simple. hand tied, not a fancy arrangement.

and I found the perfect little flower girl dress for my niece in Debenhams.

it's coming together, I have almost checked off the list, above! just need to sort out big bridesmaids' dresses and get something for my little nephew. and decide what OH and the men will wear (something hired).

That's all fab news, I knew you'd get some bargains! I love it when it all starts coming together!

As for seamstress, look in yellow pages, get someone who works from home will cost so much less, I used the seamstress in the shop for my dress, she charged me 45 quid for practically nothing, one of my bridemaids needed hers done, 20 quid and she had double the alterations I did! Oh and did it within 2 weeks ! I had the same as you strapless and boned, I wore a wonderbra strapless bra and it was fine, I bought it last thing though, you will need your shoes for fittings, I got some lovely ones again from debenhams that were half price xx

I got my flower girl dresses from debenhams as well, they have some lovely stuff!

Not sure how little the boys are, but we could hire child suits from Moss Bros.

This is almost exactly the same as my situation, we've had 6 weeks and Christmas and New Year were in the middle! We've managed it though - despite the venue double booking us (turned out for the best coz the one we've got now is much better and cheaper!)
My dress is brand new from ebay, cost less than £100 (from China but arrived in 4 days!) and is absolutely perfect. Good luck!

Well done on the dress front girl!!

thanks ladies!

am now having a minor fret about flowers - mine. what I'd normally choose (delicate flowers like tulips, freesia) don't really go with my dress, which has a lace overlay and while it's very feminine, it's not light either. but I am not so keen on big flowers like lilies. I think I'd like roses, maybe pale pink ones; deep red would look good I am sure, and would go with burgundy bridesmaid dresses, but they're not so "me"...

gah. feels like a toss-up between what I personally love and what will go with the dress I love (and already have), given they don't (at least I don't think) go together!

my favourite flowers are pale pink tulips, pale pink roses and freesia. and something elaborate, a structured bouquet, isn't really "me' either, I'm more of a plain bunch of flowers type.

this is the dress. I look nothing like the model, I have sleek, short, dark, somewhat 1920s' style hair.