Why do people keep telling me how hard BF is? - Page 3

madasa · Mar 21st, 2010, 18:11 PM

I don't think bfng IS hard. Not of itself. It's hard when you have problems, YES.... but anything is hard when you have problems, that goes without saying! PARENTING can be hard sometimes.... draining, both physically and emotionally. When it goes without a hitch, bfdg is the simplest and easiest part of it IMO.

I think a difficult birth and/or a birth with lots of interventions make bfdg harder to establish, that's one reason I'm trying to arrange it that my birth goes as intervention-free as possible. I think more women have problems bfdg because of the medicalisation of birth, and the bad advice and/or constant undermining of their instincts by the professionals who are supposed to be supporting them.

MsEmski · Mar 21st, 2010, 18:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madasa

I think a difficult birth and/or a birth with lots of interventions make bfdg harder to establish, that's one reason I'm trying to arrange it that my birth goes as intervention-free as possible. I think more women have problems bfdg because of the medicalisation of birth, and the bad advice and/or constant undermining of their instincts by the professionals who are supposed to be supporting them.

I used to think that too! I had Oscar at home (first child too!) with only two paractemols for pain relief. I didn't think the birth was traumatic like most other people had told me (those damn horrir stories everyone's so keen to relate!). However, I found BFing incredibly painful, stressful & difficult in the beginning. The crap latches, shitty boobs that don't work properly, cracked nipples, blood on breast shields, searingly painful mastitis...

I enjoy my nursing time with him now- but it really isn't surprising that most women I know have given up. That initial bit is different for each woman- just as each of our pregnancies & births were too.

polaris · Mar 22nd, 2010, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madasa

I don't think bfng IS hard. Not of itself. It's hard when you have problems, YES.... but anything is hard when you have problems, that goes without saying! PARENTING can be hard sometimes.... draining, both physically and emotionally. When it goes without a hitch, bfdg is the simplest and easiest part of it IMO.

I think a difficult birth and/or a birth with lots of interventions make bfdg harder to establish, that's one reason I'm trying to arrange it that my birth goes as intervention-free as possible. I think more women have problems bfdg because of the medicalisation of birth, and the bad advice and/or constant undermining of their instincts by the professionals who are supposed to be supporting them.

But having said that, even if you don't get the birth you planned it doesn't necessarily mean b/f will be more difficult. I ended up having a planned C-section on my LO because he was breech - it was a million miles away from the type of birth I would have wanted and there were some aspects of it that I really didn't like - but one of my big worries was that it would affect breast feeding and it didn't at all. I had to spend 20 minutes in the recovery room after the delivery but as soon as I got skin to skin with him (probably about an hour after the birth) he started feeding straight away and we've had no problems with breastfeeding at all thankfully.

Sunflowers · Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:20 AM

My immediate reaction when opening this thread was "because it is!"

We struggled to get going and there are days when it is hard but, overall, for us it was the most amazing experience until I stopped at 21 months! As much as it's hard sometimes to me bottlefeeding is also quite a hard option - much easier at night to bf than bottlefeed and you have the freedom to be out all day not worrying about how much milk you have, aside from all the many benefits of bf!

Seraphim · Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:37 AM

I agree with madasa in general terms, but there will always be exceptions. Medicalisation isn't always deterimental, although it can be, and when problems do arise, they are often not benefited in a medicalised environment where rather than baring it some 'helpful' midwife runs off and presses a bottle into the situation.

Drugs during birth are one thing which can really have an impact on those vital starting steps... I wonder how often that's discussed alongside the other side affects to mother before chosing that course of action. (How many people have said flipantly "I'm taking all the drugs on offer" - because the true implications aren't clear)

nikkiangel83 · Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:55 AM

In gerneral it is quite easy but 9 months down the line and still feeding through the night means that next day tasks are harder as I am tired. So, not really the BF itself but lack of sleep because of it.

So glad you're finding it going well

xx

vanessayogini · Mar 22nd, 2010, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seraphim

Drugs during birth are one thing which can really have an impact on those vital starting steps... I wonder how often that's discussed alongside the other side affects to mother before chosing that course of action. (How many people have said flipantly "I'm taking all the drugs on offer" - because the true implications aren't clear)

in my experience over here they do not usually discuss the possible side effects. yet another reason i became a lactation consultant. i talk about this.

madasa · Mar 22nd, 2010, 20:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polaris

Quote:

Originally Posted by madasa

I don't think bfng IS hard. Not of itself. It's hard when you have problems, YES.... but anything is hard when you have problems, that goes without saying! PARENTING can be hard sometimes.... draining, both physically and emotionally. When it goes without a hitch, bfdg is the simplest and easiest part of it IMO.

I think a difficult birth and/or a birth with lots of interventions make bfdg harder to establish, that's one reason I'm trying to arrange it that my birth goes as intervention-free as possible. I think more women have problems bfdg because of the medicalisation of birth, and the bad advice and/or constant undermining of their instincts by the professionals who are supposed to be supporting them.

But having said that, even if you don't get the birth you planned it doesn't necessarily mean b/f will be more difficult. I ended up having a planned C-section on my LO because he was breech - it was a million miles away from the type of birth I would have wanted and there were some aspects of it that I really didn't like - but one of my big worries was that it would affect breast feeding and it didn't at all. I had to spend 20 minutes in the recovery room after the delivery but as soon as I got skin to skin with him (probably about an hour after the birth) he started feeding straight away and we've had no problems with breastfeeding at all thankfully.

Absolutely - my birth didn't go that great last time, but bfdg was easy as falling off a log. I loved it! But I do think a good birth improves your chances of easy/successful bfdg. Many drugs, for example, make baby more sleepy and less likely to feed well in the first few days. Seperation of infant from mum when LO is born can also play a part. There are other factors too, but when the birth is over and done and all the gunk has been cleared away, there's the bad advice given and the undermining of mum's instincts by professionals, which I see as a continuation of that medicalised process.... everything is run on charts and timetables instead of common sense and Mother's Gut.

madasa · Mar 22nd, 2010, 20:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikkiangel83

In gerneral it is quite easy but 9 months down the line and still feeding through the night means that next day tasks are harder as I am tired. So, not really the BF itself but lack of sleep because of it.

So glad you're finding it going well

xx

Woah.... to think I used to just latch on and go back to sleep.... no wonder it was "easy". You must be shattered!

nikkiangel83 · Mar 23rd, 2010, 06:42 AM

Well to be honest, I do latch her on and doze but as she is doing it more for comfort than actual feeding then I end up latching her on for what feels like a thousand times a night. We do use a dummy but she has now decided that only a boob will do in the night. No amount of walking her round, dummy or cuddles helps. If I don't give her the boob soon enough she gets so worked up it takes even longer to het her back off so I only half heartedly attempt to soothe her in other ways now. I have totally built the rod for my own back lol!!

oooh - sorry - long post!

Mar 21st, 2010, 18:11 PM	#21
madasa Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Shropshire, UK Posts: 2,988	I don't think bfng IS hard. Not of itself. It's hard when you have problems, YES.... but anything is hard when you have problems, that goes without saying! PARENTING can be hard sometimes.... draining, both physically and emotionally. When it goes without a hitch, bfdg is the simplest and easiest part of it IMO. I think a difficult birth and/or a birth with lots of interventions make bfdg harder to establish, that's one reason I'm trying to arrange it that my birth goes as intervention-free as possible. I think more women have problems bfdg because of the medicalisation of birth, and the bad advice and/or constant undermining of their instincts by the professionals who are supposed to be supporting them.

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Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:20 AM	#24
Sunflowers Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 427	My immediate reaction when opening this thread was "because it is!" We struggled to get going and there are days when it is hard but, overall, for us it was the most amazing experience until I stopped at 21 months! As much as it's hard sometimes to me bottlefeeding is also quite a hard option - much easier at night to bf than bottlefeed and you have the freedom to be out all day not worrying about how much milk you have, aside from all the many benefits of bf!

Status: Offline

Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:37 AM	#25
Seraphim Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Dartmoor, Devon Posts: 7,082	I agree with madasa in general terms, but there will always be exceptions. Medicalisation isn't always deterimental, although it can be, and when problems do arise, they are often not benefited in a medicalised environment where rather than baring it some 'helpful' midwife runs off and presses a bottle into the situation. Drugs during birth are one thing which can really have an impact on those vital starting steps... I wonder how often that's discussed alongside the other side affects to mother before chosing that course of action. (How many people have said flipantly "I'm taking all the drugs on offer" - because the true implications aren't clear)

Status: Offline

Mar 22nd, 2010, 10:55 AM	#26
nikkiangel83 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 479	In gerneral it is quite easy but 9 months down the line and still feeding through the night means that next day tasks are harder as I am tired. So, not really the BF itself but lack of sleep because of it. So glad you're finding it going well xx

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Mar 23rd, 2010, 06:42 AM	#30
nikkiangel83 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 479	Well to be honest, I do latch her on and doze but as she is doing it more for comfort than actual feeding then I end up latching her on for what feels like a thousand times a night. We do use a dummy but she has now decided that only a boob will do in the night. No amount of walking her round, dummy or cuddles helps. If I don't give her the boob soon enough she gets so worked up it takes even longer to het her back off so I only half heartedly attempt to soothe her in other ways now. I have totally built the rod for my own back lol!! oooh - sorry - long post!

Status: Offline

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