Wow, we had a tough night here. Just need to vent really! Toby seems to be going through a 'growth spurt' (well, i am hoping that's what it is) and fed almost constantly from lunch time yesterday until 2am this morning!!!

It was basically nappy change, feed, wind, nappy change, feed, wind. I left the bed only to go to the bathroom and once to get a drink and even then he was crying for the breast when i got back and i'd only been gone minutes I really started to feel like a prisoner in my bedroom and like i was losing my mind a bit.

It didn't help that OH had picked up an extra shift at his 2nd job to fetch in some extra money for xmas, so he was out of the house 6pm until midnight which was when it was at it's worst really...Toby was not only wanting to feed constantly but seemed to be really stressing out with my boobs, clawing at them and waving his head around while he was still latched on and pummeling me and grizzling at my boobs.

I felt like the constant feeding wouldn't be so bad if he at least looked contented and like he was enjoying it and getting satisfaction but he seemed to be as miserable about it as me. At about midnight when my OH got home i was bawling my eyes out and really questioning if i was doing the right thing for him as he was acting starved, like he wanted to suck anything and everything in sight.

We have two emergency cartons of aptamil in the house which i bought towards the end of my pregnancy and it was so SO tempting to go downstairs and make up a bottle for him. I knew he would sleep if i did (and that i would sleep too!) but i also knew it wasn't necessarily the best thing for him and i knew how much of a failure i'd feel today if i did it so we rode it out until 2am and i don't know what happened at that feed, he was still grizzly and unimpressed with my boobs, but he obviously got something he wanted because after that he slept until 5am and then again at 5am, after 30 minutes on one breast slept until 7am so it seems like after a hellish 14 hours of cluster feeding we are now getting back to normal...

I can't believe how close i was to giving in and giving him formula, i'm not sure how much more i could have taken with him seeming so unsettled and my nipples feeling like they were about to fall off.

Every time i think breastfeeding is going awesomely we will have one of these "wanting to constantly feed" days and i end up feeling like the rug has been pulled out from under me and questioning whether i can do this after all. I hate how much i end up second guessing myself ("am i making enough milk? is he actually starving? would we be happier if i just gave him a bottle?") when it happens.

I am just so so happy we made it through.

Firstly, well done for getting this far and not giving in! What yr going through is completely normal and will happen again at roughly 6 weeks and 3 months, but its nice to oneday go- oh my that suit doesnt fit u anymore!

Hang in there, it does get better! I no everyone says this but it really does!

xx

Hi Rebaby,
I can completely relate, You could have been describing Thomas at the same age! In fact just reading your post reminded me that it actually has got so much better already since then. I'm sure it's a growth spurt hun. Well done getting through the evening and doing it on\your own with no moral support is no joke. I know there are nights that i have just had to hand Thomas to the OH and say please take him away for a bit, I just can't feed him anymore! And he would take him off downstairs and distract him for 45 mins or so by which stage I would be able to face it again!

But it has improved. And it's so lovely seeing how much he has grown and having people compliment you on his weight gain. Hang on in there you will get through it!

ETA just saw on another thread you were commenting on the 0-3 stuff you had got as presents being too big for Tobias, this was exactly how we were, Thomas was only 6 lb 9 oz and the 0-3 stuff looked so giant, I thought he'd never get into it. Anyway he's now comfortably wearing all the 'giant' 0-3 stuff and the newborn stuff is largely too small! You'll probably find the same will happen, that's what all the feeding is about! I think small babies can feel like they have a bit of catching up to do, LOL!

Well done! I bet that was so hard - I know when my husband works at night and she's fussing it's so much harder!

i know exactly what you mean about the rug being pulled from under you, just when you think its all going well! very frustrating.

well done for not cracking!!Im ashamed to say I did crack the other night and gave him 4oz of formula i was crying doing it and do you know what? he slept LESS than he normally does!!

It's just so hard sometimes isn't it? I have started expressing some milk in the mornings so at least OH will be able to give him a bottle of expressed milk if it gets too much. Maybe that's something you could try?

Big

We were going through the same here hon

Hubby went to work at 6.30pm - back at 1.30am... at 3am we were off to 24 hr Tesco (45 mins away) to buy infacol.

Very stressful. Poor lil mite was soooooo upset and sore in her tum.
Shes been feeding like crazy this week too.

I'm just relieved hubbys crazy week with work is only a result of his 3 weeks at home waiting for LO to arrive (and yes the money before xmas is a real drive huh :/)... and he'll be home again next week.

If only we could be online during those tough times we could help consol eachother, but baby juggling doesn't really mix.

Just know you're not alone sweetie xx

Thankyou all for the support and encouragement. Toby has been like a different baby today, much happier and feeding every 1.5 to 3 hours so a bit more settled.

You have nothing to be ashamed of hun it was so hard last night, i felt like i was damned if i did give him formula but also damned if i didn't.

I think i am going to do what polaris has suggested though, we were planning for me to eventually start expressing occasionally anyway so OH could have the option of giving a bottle now and again, so i have ordered a breast pump today. I figure that even if i don't use what i express right away, knowing it is in the freezer will give me another "fall back" option if we have another night like last night. At least that way OH could give Toby something just to give me chance to shower or sleep for a couple of hours in between all the feeding to save my sanity (and nipples!)

So sorry so many of us are having a rough time of it right now, but also so glad we can share it with each other, it can be so lonely at times

I got myself a bf blinkie today to remind myself how far we've come already and seeing it in my siggie does give me a bit of a confidence boost

I also felt 'The Guilt' buying dummies at 4am this morning.
I have no intention of using them... I wanted to put them in the bin today :/ but with the only late night shop 45 mins away, I was kicking myself I didn't have the infacol to hand... I thought it was better to have some in the house just incase.

Rebaby, I've got 10-15 feeds in the freezer 'for later' which I collected from leaky nipples in breast shells. Hubby was asking last night about him feeding for those tired times - but I just can't yet :/

All pulls at your heart strings doesn't it