Layla

Wasnt sure where to put this....its to do with beign a mum so thought its prob best in here rather than the girly bit, but feel free to move it if you think it needs to be somewhere else.

Just want a moan really and im praying someone else feels the same as me.

I have reached the point where im really fed up of being a mum

I love all my children with everything i have and Jase, but i just feel like i dont exist anymore, they all have things that they do and im stuck in all the time doing house work.

Charlie and Ethan have tehre after school clubs, they sleep over there nans and dads as well as friends houses,
Coby goes to nuresry 4 morninbgs a week and i take him to toddler group on the 5th morning.
Adam goes to toddler group
Jase gets to go jogging whenever he feels like it, and now hes away on these 2 stag weekends in a row

I do nothing. I have had to withdraw from both my college courses in September coz i cant do them aswell as look after jase and the kids, sort money out and do all the house work and washing.
The college course im on now finishes in 3 weeks, then i will be stuck in the house all day everyday, i will never be child free, not even for the 3 hours a week the college course was for.

I sound like a right ungreatful bitch dont i, im lucky i guess, i dont have to go out to work to pay everything, yet i find myself wanting to get out there and do things for me for a change, im sick of being a mother, a wife, a cleaner and a cook, when can i just be me for a change??

Sounds crap doesnt it, im basicly jealous of my kids for having a better life than me, but that is all i ever wanted for them...

Meh, i dont know, im just rambling now, i just feel like i come last in the house, if i ever want to do anything i either have to turn it down, was offered to go out at teh weekend, i cant or i have to arrange what ever it is i want to do around everyone else first.

agghh, i know im selfish but is there anyone else out there who feels even slightly the same?

I have made myself out to sound like a terrible mother now too, but honestly im not.

x

kookie

awww sounds like you need some you time maybe u should talk to Jase bout how u feel ? your not a bad mum for feeling this way u give your family your all u need something back for you xxx

Layla

He knows how i feel, hes known for a while

x

Mamafy

theres nothing wrong with wanting 'me-time', but with 4 kids I'm guessing it would be in short supply.

You have to take your life in your hands though, no-one will do it for you so if you want a different life then go get a life as they say , thats not to sound flippant or anything but if you're unhappy you have to change things around.

I think maybe a job would help, something part-time in the evenings when jase is at home. It will give you the extra cash injection you need for your college courses plus its abit of independence, and its great to be able to say 'I earned that'

Or you could be suffering from depression? I'm sorry if thats sounds sh1t but it may explain some of your feelings hun? but correct me if I'm wrong.

Elli21

I think that wanting time to be YOU is nothing to be ashamed about. And it defo doesnt mean your a bad mum! Ive ranted on here before about wanting to be me..and sometimes you just have to say "sorry, but fuck it, its my turn" otherwise you'd go potty.
I dont think you sound ungreatful or anything, i think you sound a normal human being!
And can you tell your OH about the way you feel? Make him listen and make it known that you want him to do something about it!
I hate it when men are told something and yet they ignore it and pretend it'll go away!

I agree..my part time jobs keep me sane..its a little time away and even though your working..your away from everything for a few hours and your socialising etc. When i get paid, i feel really good about the things i can put the money towards.

Layla

id love a job, but jase works shifts so i cant, childminder is to expensive, plus id rather the kids were with someone they knew, and we have no family here to help out.

The college courses were so that when the kids go to full time school i can go out and get a good paying job, not just working in tescos (no offence to anyone) but now thats gone down the toilet too.

My doc did give me tablets for depression but im refuseing to take them, they dont fix the problem, only mask your feelings whcih doesnt help anyone.

x

Mamafy

what about knicker parties, something you can do when jase is there cause there is no set times. It would be commission but it would be fun and would take you out, plus you could do your 1st one at home.

rafwife

Why don't you do something from home? Like dog-walking? Or join a local group or club? Or volunteer?

Layla

i have aplied for lots of volenteer(sp?) work in areas that i love, drug realbiltion, young affenders, mental health etc, they are low comitment and i can work them around Jases shifts, just a case now of waiting to hear back from them

x

Mamafy

if you had a migraine or broke your arm you wouldnt refuse mediaction though?
Ok Layla I'm gonna be totally honest here cause I think from what I've seen you appreciate honesty.
If you continue to refuse medication for depression you are putting yourself through unnecessary risk and heartache.
Anti-depressants when used sensibly and in a controlled way can get people well again, they dont mask your feelings; the depression is doing a good enough job of that already.

My advice to you is to go back to your dr and get/take the necessary help that you NEED to get well again and to ask for councelling alongside of it so that you can work through any issues you have.