Wobbles

I dunno if I want to watch the video (although unsure of what it is) - I hate having things or feeling like things are being rammed my throat at a fast speed leaving me questioning my ability as a Mum & looking after my baby which includes loving her more than I could ever love anyone else.

Nobody mentioned age of - I certainly never all I outlined was she was not old enough yet and there is a degree of child getting own way nobody will change my mind on that because someone wrote a book or a paragraph contradicting someone elses book or paragraph. I was left to my own devices (as in given what I wanted) as a youngster given into and so on always wanted attention and I threw uncontrolable fits of tantrum & was very naught at sleep time.

Babies/children also fight sleep (not talking about newborns here) the fight is often whinging not crying. Being in the same room letting child know you are there without lifting baby out is a form of a controlled situation certainly not cruel or damaging to baby.

A mother starts picking up on childs different cries, that to me is some form of bond between child & parent therefore Mum who knows baby is in distress will see to the child with no doubt - making sure baby is fed, clean, comfortable in position, temp, acting accordingly if full of wind, poss constipated, and so on and so on.

I don't see anyone saying they would just put the baby down regardless just to get them to sleep - kinda sounds like people are saying they just want baby out of road and to shut up.

I think your opinions are quite strong but I think potentially could make some Mummies doubt themselves if I'm honest. No offence.

fiona-thom

I am never here to make Mothers doubt themselves as a parent - I just show factual evidence. Just as all pediatricians and GPs will say and most know, breastmilk is much better than formula. As is controlled crying is not the ideal for babies, again backed up by many people - 'experts'.

At the end of the day it is a Mothers choice, based on factual evidence.

Wobbles

But theres 'experts' who say controlled crying to a certain level is perfectly fine for baby (like my HV) whist 'experts' have printed leaflets giving them to parents that 'routine' is pretty much a must (like my local doctors).

Theres always two sides to most things one will say its no good the other will say its a positive way forward & you'll find information on both. Not soley on this discussion but almost everything in this day!

Whist theres controlled crying better worded as a controlled situation I believe theres a controlled limit too for the adult/parent. Like not being stupidly cruel by saying sod it let baby cry until they can't be assed no more or they have no energy to because they have gasped that much in a state.

Its definately parents instinct - of any that love there children will never leave child in any shape or form of stress. I jump and get edgy at any sign of nosie from Caitlin I'm always worrying whats up with her if anything.

MarchBaby

I agree with you. I feel my LO is far too young to be left crying. I get to him right after he starts crying. But, if I know it's not time to feed or he hasn't wet his diaper than I just talk to him. He is often comforted by me just rubbing his hand/arm/leg and talking to him in a soft voice instead of picking him up.

I also think controlled crying is good for a child. It will teach them to comfort themselves. I am definitally going to use controlled crying. Just not at this age, and not for awhile.

Helen

How dare you! I'm mortified at the suggestion that you think I would do anything to hurt my precious children!

beanie

I'm not entering the discussion about controlled crying but I do want to just say that it does annoy me when people say picking up your baby all the time makes for a clingy child. Personally I think this is more to do with the childs personality then anyhting else. I have always picked up Seren assoon as she started crying from day one and anyone who has met Seren would never describe her as clingy. She is happy to meet other people, never has been clingy.She comforts herself,is a great sleeper and will play happily by herself. I will use the same approach with Cally, maybe she might be clingy (though why this is a bad thing I never know as before we know it they are all grown up and we are complaining they are too independant) but that will be hr nature just as her sister isindependant. I carry Cally around in a sling and constantly get told she will get too used to being carried (love that)

coccyx

You can find statistics to support most points of view. Some people think co sleeping is a dangerous thing to do! Is the video from the tv programme about looking after baby from 3 different points of view. If it is ,the part when the newborn is left to cry for ages made me cry! The new mum downstairs was so upset. The maternity 'nurse' told them not to let the baby win! That to me was cruel.:

mickey

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But the phrases 'routine' and 'controlled crying from day one' make me shudder in fear.

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How dare you! I'm mortified at the suggestion that you think I would do anything to hurt my precious children!


here, I want to add again, that I heard, twins, triplets and so on are able to soothe each other as they are used being together, due to the fact they were together in the womb!
makes absolutely sense to me, as well nature must have put sth in place to make a mother help to cope with multiplets.

ps: my OH is a non-identical twin

Wobbles

Lots of Mums have said the opposite though 'I gave into my child all the time now shes difficult & I can't leave her' type thing ...family (mine) included. So I could never take back what I've said and think it does have a little to do with. Even the woman in the GPs surgery was telling me the difference between her two was quite boring but hey ho

BUT there is a difference imo between picking up child to give them own way & picking up to comfort etc so maybe that is why Beanie? On the 'own way' I am talking about when baby is older walking etc

I think your right though their personallity does have alot to do with & if my daughter has my personality I'm in for a rough ride

Half asleep atm though ha!

Wobbles

Oh yes that was outragous! THAT is not what my thinking of this means btw!! That was a stressed baby needing Mummy now that was BAD!

Assuming it is what I think your mean theres a few discussions on the forum somewhere.