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Got told I am Selfish today by another mum!


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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 20:09 PM   #1
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Got told I am Selfish today by another mum!


I occasionally go on the Net mums site and there was a thread going on, someone was asking the best gap between kids as she didnt know if she could cope with another kid.

Another mum logged on and then said anyone who has an only child or chooses just to have the one is selfish end of comment.

How insensitive can you get!

She then got shot down in flames by afew people asking if she had thought about the people who couldn;t have another or who have TTC and failed.
I gave my two penneth too! I am an only child, my mum wanted another but she had precancerous smear cells so had to have a hysterectomy. so i wasnt an only child by choice. i would have loved a bro or sis but i know it not always text book and and not every one gets on with their siblings.

I have ewan and have been TTC another with no luck so far, she really made me feel like crap with her comments.

I hope that ewan isnt an only child but if he is, then so be it. the only thing i know i am going to find very hard is when my family goes. as there is only me to deal with it and to remember the memories.

Anyway waffling ...! she did log on again and appologise.. never thought about her commment! obviously!

Are there any other only kids out there?
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 20:12 PM   #2
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Im not an only child, but thats a harsh comment anyway.. even if any of us did want to just have the 1, thats no one elses business at all!
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 20:25 PM   #3
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How damn right insensitive that is!

All the TTC problems we had we wondered if we'd do it again because of that also we wondered if we just wanted to spoil Caitlin but I was an only child and hated it - I was fostered for a few yrs and had a bro and sis - I loved it so when that ended I was and felt a lonely child long for my bro & sis again so we have decided to have 2 but I won't be testing etc just seeing if its how it happens if it does YAY if it doesn't well I tried .... *Ramble* anyway I'd tell her where to go without being polite about it but you don't seem like that lol Ignore it some people are bloody unreal! Glad she said sorry although shouldn't have said it in first place x
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 20:53 PM   #4
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Im an only child and I dont think my Mum was selfish in any way! It was her choice to have one child, they werent really well off and she simply only wanted one child. I had no problems being the only child, i certainly wasnt spoilt materialistically.
Infact I am the 4th only female child on my Mums side, Looks like Ive broken the trend!
I wouldnt take what she said to heart, sounds like she is very insensitive!
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 22:02 PM   #5
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she's talking balls.OH is an only child and he has never had an issue with it.As he says how ca you miss what you never had. In fact because he had such a great childhood as an only child he only originally wanted one baby. He is not spoiled or materialistic.
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 23:00 PM   #6
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very rude im an only child by blood i have half and step brothers and sisters my OH is an only child hes mum was lucky to have him and she couldnot have anymore after him so if and when we ready for kids i would like two if possible as its not nice having siblings and can be lonely i have no problem being an only child i cant help the situtaion my mum and dad were in they divsored when i was young ppl go through hell and bk when ttcing its sdo hard she is insenative she should of thought before she posted that x
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Old Dec 22nd, 2007, 23:02 PM   #7
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That woman has her head up her ass. I am an only child, and I have no issues about it. My mother would have had a dozen children if she were able to but she endured miscarriage after miscarriage in her pursuit to have me. She was incredibly lucky to be able to carry me to term, she had horrible problems the whole time, and almost lost me several times. That is the problem with a blanket statement like that. Her mother might have been being selfish in having an only child, she might have known some other woman/couple who has selfish reasons for having an only child, but it is not true of everyone. A close girlfriend of mine has one son and she is done. She made that decision because she hated being pregnant, had a hard pregnancy, and a horrible birth. She has also comment that her son is an angel, and she totally lucked out on having such a good baby. Is she being selfish? I don't think so, I think she knows herself and her limitations.
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Old Dec 23rd, 2007, 02:05 AM   #8
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I plan on my son being an only child simply bc i had a rough 3rd tri and do not want to go through it again. I'm not an only child but i will admit that yes- i am spoiled. Not so much anymore but its so stereotypical of her to say that about only kids. Kids with siblings can be spoiled just as much as an only child!
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Old Dec 23rd, 2007, 10:23 AM   #9
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Thanks for the replies.
I always wish for a sibling, but i was quite happy on my own, i had a crazy imagination! and loads of imaginary friends! All my toys were well looked after! nothing got broken.
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Old Dec 23rd, 2007, 12:03 PM   #10
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I'm not an only child and can't imagine growing up without my brothers and sister but I think it's personal choice and I know many people who were an only child and although make have liked a sibling aren't that bothered.

I don't really know yet if I would want another. Right now I'd have to say no but I know that might change in the future. That would sort of make mine an only child. DP had a child from a previous relationship but she lives in another country.
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