Im really struggleing with Coby and his sleeping patterns, i just dont know what else to do with him.

Charlie and Ethan never gave me any trouble with there sleeping, at 7pm every night they would go to bed and sleep untill 7am but Coby is a stuborn little sod and wont do that atall!

We did start getting him in to a rotuine where we took him up to bed about 9 and stayed with him till he fell asleep, but now he refuses this and screams his head off, Charlie and Ethan have school so i dont want them to be woken, so i give in and bring Coby down stairs, his bedtime is getting later and later...last night he fell asleep at 11! I normaly go to bed at 10 lol

During the night he is very unsettled too, he crys alot and then eventualy comes in to bed with us, as soon as he does, he sleeps perfectly! We always wait till he is asleep then put him back in to his bed coz i dont like him being in with us atall.

HIs day time naps are not going well anymore either, he normaly sleepts from about 12 to 2 or 3 but now he falls asleep at anytime (no set time anymore) and its only for an hour at the most.

Help guys, i dont know what to do with him, i know he is getting his finaly set of back teeth so it might be that, but im really stumped, i know i should be more firm with him but its so hard, he is such a determind little kid, he knows what he wants and he wont stop till he gets his own way, we tend to give in to get one quiet, which is prob wrong.

Anyone else had this problem? with the baby coming i can only see it getting worse, what can i do?

Thanks

x

Hi Layla

I really hope I don't jinx it now but for the last few months Olivia has been a lot better and usually goes from 7pm to 6.30 (sometimes 5.30am and sometimes 7.30am).
So I'm no expert from my advice would be; once Coby is in his bed I wouldn't let him downstairs again. You could try the put up put down method if controlled crying isn't your thing. Do Ethan and Charlie still go to their Nans on a Friday night? If they do I would start this on a Friday night then you have two nights where you don't have to worry about the kids getting up for School and hopefully by the Sunday night Coby will understand it's bedtime!
When Olivia is put to bed she wont always go straight to sleep but she'll chatter away and knows it's time for bed.

I think it's a circle with Coby, his daytime naps are short because he's not getting a full nights sleep and she used to be quite restless in the night when she wasn't getting a good sleep too.

Do you still do a bedtime routine?

HI LUcy,

The friday night thing is a good idea, i didnt think of that. Charlie and Ethan do still go to there nans for the night.

Our bedtime rotuine went out teh window a little while back, since i have started college again Coby wont settle untill im home, im gone 2 nights a week and Jase really struggles with him, when i get home he want sto be with me for a while before i take him upstairs, he used to go to sleep for me but the past few nights he just crys and runs about, he wont stay in his bed and points to go down stairs, he is a nightmare!

x

Layla, please don't get offended by what I am going to say, you asked for advice so I am just giving you mine.

Now I will start with, Your being to soft, you don't have any set routine and your inconsistent. Coby will continue along this path because you allow him, because you give in and there are no consequences. You are rewarding his negative behaviour by allowing him to come back down and be with you.

My youngest is very stubborn and like you I found it easier in the begining to give in, because I didn't want him waking up his older brothers and my husband who did shift work.

We sat down and had a family meeting and discussed the matter. We also sat David ( my youngest) down and told him the new bedtime rules, and what will happen if they are broken. We did this during the day and we discussed these rules on and off through out the day. I had a toddler gate put up at his door ( David would run out of his room). I would put him to bed and I would let him carry on for a good 20min, then I would go up, talk with him and put him back to bed. Then we would allow him to carry on for about 30min ( the times got longer and longer) and the first few nights were hard, I think we did this till near 1am, but I didn't give in, I made a rule and stuck with it. Also with the baby gate up David couldn't come into my room through out the night, and if he woke, I would go and see him and then go straight back to bed. With in a few days of doing this the tantrums got shorter and shorter and over the next few weeks they stopped all together.

We also used a sticker chart for when he went to bed with out any problems, if he did all 7nights he got a reward. Each night he did well, we made such a HUGE fuss over him, we cuddled, kissed went totally nuts with attention, he just loved it and couldn't wait to get more the next morning.

You are really going to have to get this under control now and although it is heart breaking listening to our babies scream and carry on, but it needs to be done, you need a decent sleep, so does your family and especially Coby, he needs more sleep.

I hopw I haven't offended you, I am just giving you my opinion. I have 3 sons so I do understand. I wish you all the best.
Remeber what ever decission you go with, it is soooooooooooo important you stick with it, no matter how hard.

Sorry if I'm hijacking your post Layla, but while Bek is in an advice-giving mood, I wanted to ask for her help with Charlie!

Charlie's now 13 months and has never really been a great sleeper, but lately he seems to have got into a horrible routine and I have no idea how to break it.

For the past fortnight, he's waking in the night for a bottle! At 13 months old! He's genuinly hungry. It's always between 1am and 2.30am that he wakes, he has a bottle, and then 50% of the time will go straight back sleep, and then the other 50% he comes in bed with us until he's gone then I take him back to his cot. I know that we've made a rod for our own back as he never goes bed awake. It's not that we rock him to sleep or anything like that, he just falls sleep when he has his bedtime bottle. The routine is great, and it's the same every night. He has a snack in a bowl at about 5.45pm (raisins, banana, biscuit, stuff like this) while he's playing, then it's bathtime at 6.15. DH gets him undressed while I run the bath, then I bath him while he clears up, then I dress him and take him down to Daddy for his bottle. Every single night he will fall sleep while drinking his milk and then Daddy carries him to bed. And he's really out for the count - you could hang him upside down and he wouldn't wake!

Now I know that this is where we have gone wrong because he won't go sleep on his own now, he expects to be cuddled. BUT, saying that, he is put down for a nap awake every day at nursery and they never have a problem with him!

I have a teenager who is studying for GCSE's as well, so really can't let him scream all night, but we could try to make some changes at the weekends.

Any ideas please!!!!! [-o<

Bek, thanks for your advice hun, you havent affended me, i know im far to soft with him.

Im seroiusly not makeing excuses here but i couldnt get a gate and lock him in, there is one at teh top of the stairs so he cant fall down but apart from that i dont like putting barriers up in the house. I cant leave him cry either, im such a wuss, we tried that and he gets so upset that he cant breath right and then i feel so guilty coz he sobs.

I like teh star chart idea, altho im not sure he would understnad that at this age, i will have to look in to it.

I need to be firm and get him to understand its bed time, i think i will have to stay in his room and persist through the crying and wnating to go down stairs, i dont mind him crying if im there with him coz then he knows hes not alone. I just dont fancy wasting over an hour every night doing it when i could be spending it with Jase.

x

Layla, I am a wuss at hearing Olivia cry too so know what you mean. Up until a few months ago I was the only one that could put Olivia to bed, if I was going out I would have to wait until she was in bed, I was still bfing her before bed too so it was not only a task to get someone else to settle her but to also wean her off! So it was over to DH and he took charge of the bed time routine. He bathed her whilst i was downstairs making dinner then I came up to say goodnight then DH read her a story by her bed then put her in her cot. she cried so he went back in picked her up and cuddled her then put her down, she cried, he picked her up.... you get the idea. He did this until she fell asleep but at no point was she taken away from just by her cot. I think this helped to re-inforce that it's bed time now. She then would wake up in the night and DH just went through and did the same thing. Once she seemed to settle for DH at night I then started putting her to bed sometimes and now she's fine with either of us putting her down.

Is Coby in a cot or a bed? If he's in a bed and keeps getting out then apply the same method of just picking him up and putting him back in bed, they do that on Supernanny in lots of situations and after time the child understands that they're not going to go anywhere except back to that spot!


Amanda - Not sure if you have tried this but perhaps give Charlie some slowly digested foods for his dinner like sweet potato etc, should keep him fuller for longer. If he wakes in the night just offer him water and lots of cuddles, after a couple of nights he should learn he wont get milk in the night.

Isn't it easier to give advice about other people's sleep issues etc!

Thanks Lucy, that does make sense to give him the water. He eats at the nursery so unfortunately I have no control over what he has, but they are pretty good. Today is cheese and potato pie and baked beans. We've only recently started giving him the snack when he gets home so I'm hoping that will help as well.

It's right what you say about easier to give advise though. It's just so much easier to give Charlie a bottle at 2am when I know it will settle him, and we've both got to be up for work at 6am!

totally agree Amanda, you do what gets you by!

Amanda, Ella used to wake a lot in the night for milk. Now I've stopped her from having a bottle and she only has a cup before bed (no milk in bed at night, only a beaker in the day) she's been a lot better and only wakes if she's cold.
Layla when Ella's back teeth came through she was a NIGHTMARE for sleeping. We carried on with the bath, story, bed and milk routine we had going at that time (she was about 14 months) and if she woke up in pain in the night we'd try to settle her, but if we couldn't then she'd have calpol or medised as she was hurting.
If you feel that he is tired in the day and needs to nap then try putting him down with a beaker of milk, closed curtains and a couple of books and leaving him, that generally works for madam (she doesn't cry though and if she did then I would go up to her as it generally means she wont sleep).