guilt over wanting certain sex for next baby????

Tanikins · Jan 22nd, 2012, 10:37 AM

i will explain but - how do you deal with the guilt of disappointment if the next baby you have isnt the sex you want???

as you can probs guess from my siggy i will be trying for another baby in the futher. i already have a little boy so would really like a girl next! obviously i would love the baby either way but when i think about it i think id be a little disappointed if it was another boy

i dont want to feel disappointed thought and feeling this would always make me feel guilty as though i dint want him when i really do. i know the baby would never know but i would and it would eat me up inside

so how do you deal with the guilt of wanting a different sex than what you are blessed with

im sorry if that doesnt make a huge amount of sense

RebeccaG · Jan 22nd, 2012, 10:44 AM

Don't really know what to say hun! But I think boys are just amazing. They are so much fun and if our next is a boy I would be sooooo pleased! I think 2 boys would be great together and would have so much fun playing. Also, it wouldn't be as expensive - we have sooooo many boys clothes it would cost a fortune if our next was a girl.

2ndtimeluckyX · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:16 AM

I think it would be easy to feel that way during pregnancy but once your lo is born and you hold him you would forget!
In my opinion, I could never resent a baby, they are too god dam cute! Lol
I have a little girl and if my next baby is a girl too I really wouldn't mind. I am one of 5 girls and loved everyminute of growing up.
I would prob keep trying for a boy and end up with 10 girls lol

6lilpigs · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:22 AM

Have you looked into gender swaying OP?? I put in a good effort this time round as I wanted a boy and it worked for me

I regularly use the gender dreaming site for swaying information and I can honestly tell you that they are having fantastic results with the girl swayers atm!!!
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/forum.php

levichips · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:22 AM

i totally know what you mean i was the same when pregnant with dd i knew i wouldn't love the baby any less if she had been a boy but because she was our last i really wanted a girl. but wouldn't had made any difference if had been a boy x

hayley x · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:25 AM

I was desperate for another boy in my lastest pregnancy (our first boy died) and was very lucky to get him, so I dont know how I would feel, but I can imagine that I would have loved a 2nd daughter just as much, although maybe initially feel a little sad I would never get the son we wanted to see grow up. I'm sure the love would feel just the same as your first and you wont even remember the time you wanted him to be a girl iykwim?

xxx

MizzDeeDee · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:40 AM

I totally get this. I have told many people that if I could be 100% ensured to have a little boy next time that there would be no reservations about having another child. This is not to say that I would be upset if I got pregnant and had a girl, but that I would very actively try if I knew I'd have a boy.

I don't think it's abnormal to feel that way.

Lashes85 · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:43 AM

I was the same before I started TTC Vinnie. I wanted a girl so badly, I'd started the gender swaying but realised I just wanted a baby. I obviously had another boy, but although I was dissapointed at first, I soon came round and love him more then life it's self as do my other boys. I just wish I knew if I'll ever have a girl in my life time. I don't even mind waiting 10 years for her.

Wanting a girl has made me feel very depressed at times. I've even fallen out with close friends/family who are having girls or had them. I'm very jealous of people who have one of each too. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes!! I wish I didnt feel like this more then wanting a girl. I hate the monster it's made me

feeble · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:45 AM

I would love a little girl next, because we prepared to have a daughter and she died, basically

but i combat my occasional dread of having another boy by realising how nice that will be for Jasper, how well they will get on and how much fun the two boys will have together

Ozzieshunni · Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:52 AM

Totally normal! DH wants a little girl next, but I want a little boy. Of course we'll love that child either way. I think it's drilled into us that we should have one boy and one girl and our family will be complete

Jan 22nd, 2012, 10:37 AM	#1
Tanikins Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Uk Posts: 1,212	guilt over wanting certain sex for next baby???? i will explain but - how do you deal with the guilt of disappointment if the next baby you have isnt the sex you want??? as you can probs guess from my siggy i will be trying for another baby in the futher. i already have a little boy so would really like a girl next! obviously i would love the baby either way but when i think about it i think id be a little disappointed if it was another boy i dont want to feel disappointed thought and feeling this would always make me feel guilty as though i dint want him when i really do. i know the baby would never know but i would and it would eat me up inside so how do you deal with the guilt of wanting a different sex than what you are blessed with im sorry if that doesnt make a huge amount of sense

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Jan 22nd, 2012, 10:44 AM	#2
RebeccaG Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 1,305	Don't really know what to say hun! But I think boys are just amazing. They are so much fun and if our next is a boy I would be sooooo pleased! I think 2 boys would be great together and would have so much fun playing. Also, it wouldn't be as expensive - we have sooooo many boys clothes it would cost a fortune if our next was a girl.

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Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:16 AM	#3
2ndtimeluckyX Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Wrexham, North Wales Posts: 1,382	I think it would be easy to feel that way during pregnancy but once your lo is born and you hold him you would forget! In my opinion, I could never resent a baby, they are too god dam cute! Lol I have a little girl and if my next baby is a girl too I really wouldn't mind. I am one of 5 girls and loved everyminute of growing up. I would prob keep trying for a boy and end up with 10 girls lol

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Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:22 AM	#4
6lilpigs Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,525	Have you looked into gender swaying OP?? I put in a good effort this time round as I wanted a boy and it worked for me I regularly use the gender dreaming site for swaying information and I can honestly tell you that they are having fantastic results with the girl swayers atm!!! http://genderdreaming.com/forum/forum.php

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:22 AM	#5
levichips Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: chester Posts: 2,359	i totally know what you mean i was the same when pregnant with dd i knew i wouldn't love the baby any less if she had been a boy but because she was our last i really wanted a girl. but wouldn't had made any difference if had been a boy x

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Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:25 AM	#6
hayley x Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Here! Posts: 18,380	I was desperate for another boy in my lastest pregnancy (our first boy died) and was very lucky to get him, so I dont know how I would feel, but I can imagine that I would have loved a 2nd daughter just as much, although maybe initially feel a little sad I would never get the son we wanted to see grow up. I'm sure the love would feel just the same as your first and you wont even remember the time you wanted him to be a girl iykwim? xxx

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:40 AM	#7
MizzDeeDee Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Virginia/USA Posts: 4,700	I totally get this. I have told many people that if I could be 100% ensured to have a little boy next time that there would be no reservations about having another child. This is not to say that I would be upset if I got pregnant and had a girl, but that I would very actively try if I knew I'd have a boy. I don't think it's abnormal to feel that way.

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:43 AM	#8
Lashes85 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,546	I was the same before I started TTC Vinnie. I wanted a girl so badly, I'd started the gender swaying but realised I just wanted a baby. I obviously had another boy, but although I was dissapointed at first, I soon came round and love him more then life it's self as do my other boys. I just wish I knew if I'll ever have a girl in my life time. I don't even mind waiting 10 years for her. Wanting a girl has made me feel very depressed at times. I've even fallen out with close friends/family who are having girls or had them. I'm very jealous of people who have one of each too. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes!! I wish I didnt feel like this more then wanting a girl. I hate the monster it's made me

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:45 AM	#9
feeble Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 2,465	I would love a little girl next, because we prepared to have a daughter and she died, basically but i combat my occasional dread of having another boy by realising how nice that will be for Jasper, how well they will get on and how much fun the two boys will have together

Status: Offline

Jan 22nd, 2012, 11:52 AM	#10
Ozzieshunni Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Californian living in Arbroath, Scotland Posts: 12,064	Totally normal! DH wants a little girl next, but I want a little boy. Of course we'll love that child either way. I think it's drilled into us that we should have one boy and one girl and our family will be complete

Status: Offline

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