Need some advice from new mums

ScottishBaby · Dec 27th, 2008, 06:57 AM

Hi ladies, I hope you are all enjoying new motherhood but I have a few questions.

Basically I'm expecting my first baby and I'm really really worried and scared.

We've been trying for a baby for the past 2 years and its something we both really wanted. I say wanted because now that little bean is here and the reality of how much my life is going to change has hit me, I am constantly feeling uneasy about it.

I worry that I won't bond with my baby because of all the sleepless nights. I worry that I won't be able to control my temper in the midst of a heated tantrum. I worry that they'll take my baby away from me if I tell the midwives about my fears. I worry that I'll regret giving up my old life.

I've been told these are all typical worries that new mums to be have, but I'd like to know, if you had those worries during pregnancy, did they fade after the baby was born?

Thanks in advance for the advice

BlackBerry25 · Dec 27th, 2008, 08:32 AM

Hi there.

I was worried my whole pregnancy and they have mostly gone. I still worry randomly but I am way too busy to be worrying! You will be fine

You will love your little baby and your whole life will change but it will be ok.

I have to say the first 2 weeks are hard but then it just gets better (so far, for me anyways!) If you have a bad temper or low patience, you can always just set your baby down in a safe place and go cool off, Everyone has had to do it.

violet 73 · Dec 27th, 2008, 08:38 AM

these are all normally fears , i won,t lie to you but we all have our off days were we will cry over silly things etc but i think its tiredness more than anything but you will bond with baby once baby is born , i think no matter how tired you are you will be able to control your temper & if it gets bad you just go out the room have a coffee & cig etc if you smoke but ive never had to do this & jack is my 4th , it also took me over 2 yrs to concieve but was on depo before trying . violet x

nikky0907 · Dec 27th, 2008, 09:37 AM

Those and many other worries were going through my head during pregnancy.
The Lola was born and all the 'Whats gonna happen....' worries faded but new ones settled in.

In reality,a mom never stops worrying.

Just to say that it's absolutly ok for you to talk your fears with your midwife because nobody will take your baby from you.

PitBullMommy · Dec 27th, 2008, 22:29 PM

We were TTC for two years with PCOS and after we had decided to wait a year to continue we found out we were pg with Charlotte. I was happy, then I got the same fears you have. I actually called my Mom a few times, crying cause I did NOT want to keep her. I am very glad we did and I love her soooo much. I ended up with really bad PND after she was born and had to go on meds, but that's alright. Everything is good now. You'll be fine...they're totally worth it.

ryder · Dec 28th, 2008, 07:30 AM

The first couple weeks are hard no matter what you do, it is a huge adjustment. But I dont find myself worrying about too much... I try and stay calm.

**polo_princess** · Dec 28th, 2008, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryder

The first couple weeks are hard no matter what you do, it is a huge adjustment. But I dont find myself worrying about too much... I try and stay calm.

Me too, even when things get frustrating it does no good getting into a tizz.

Try not to worry now things will soon fall into place once LO is here and you'll have a whole new heap of things to worry about lol

bex · Dec 28th, 2008, 10:50 AM

Like the others have said its very hard work in the beginning, it does get easier and when you get that first smile it makes it all worthwhile.
This is my 2nd child and i'd forgotten how hard it was. I personally think the first 6 wks are the worst. I've got a very supportive husband and usually if i'm really tired he takes over and if he's tired i take over. Try not to worry through your pregnancy and talk thinhs through as it will make you feel better.

lollylou1 · Dec 28th, 2008, 11:35 AM

i had similar worries to you hun, when Annabelle arrived it was new worries that set into place, is she drinking enough, is she warm enough etc, i love her to pieces and wouldnt be without her, it is hard and very tiring and like today i havent slept more than 5 hours in 2 days but you just need go with the flow

Lou
xxx

Dec 27th, 2008, 06:57 AM	#1
ScottishBaby Pregnant (Expecting) Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Blackpool Posts: 182	Need some advice from new mums Hi ladies, I hope you are all enjoying new motherhood but I have a few questions. Basically I'm expecting my first baby and I'm really really worried and scared. We've been trying for a baby for the past 2 years and its something we both really wanted. I say wanted because now that little bean is here and the reality of how much my life is going to change has hit me, I am constantly feeling uneasy about it. I worry that I won't bond with my baby because of all the sleepless nights. I worry that I won't be able to control my temper in the midst of a heated tantrum. I worry that they'll take my baby away from me if I tell the midwives about my fears. I worry that I'll regret giving up my old life. I've been told these are all typical worries that new mums to be have, but I'd like to know, if you had those worries during pregnancy, did they fade after the baby was born? Thanks in advance for the advice

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Dec 27th, 2008, 08:32 AM	#2
BlackBerry25 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 15,180	Hi there. I was worried my whole pregnancy and they have mostly gone. I still worry randomly but I am way too busy to be worrying! You will be fine You will love your little baby and your whole life will change but it will be ok. I have to say the first 2 weeks are hard but then it just gets better (so far, for me anyways!) If you have a bad temper or low patience, you can always just set your baby down in a safe place and go cool off, Everyone has had to do it.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2008, 08:38 AM	#3
violet 73 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: birmingham Posts: 970	these are all normally fears , i won,t lie to you but we all have our off days were we will cry over silly things etc but i think its tiredness more than anything but you will bond with baby once baby is born , i think no matter how tired you are you will be able to control your temper & if it gets bad you just go out the room have a coffee & cig etc if you smoke but ive never had to do this & jack is my 4th , it also took me over 2 yrs to concieve but was on depo before trying . violet x

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2008, 09:37 AM	#4
nikky0907 Mum (Mom) Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: New England, USA Posts: 11,326	Those and many other worries were going through my head during pregnancy. The Lola was born and all the 'Whats gonna happen....' worries faded but new ones settled in. In reality,a mom never stops worrying. Just to say that it's absolutly ok for you to talk your fears with your midwife because nobody will take your baby from you.

Status: Offline

Dec 27th, 2008, 22:29 PM	#5
PitBullMommy Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Norwich, CT Posts: 3,332	We were TTC for two years with PCOS and after we had decided to wait a year to continue we found out we were pg with Charlotte. I was happy, then I got the same fears you have. I actually called my Mom a few times, crying cause I did NOT want to keep her. I am very glad we did and I love her soooo much. I ended up with really bad PND after she was born and had to go on meds, but that's alright. Everything is good now. You'll be fine...they're totally worth it.

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2008, 07:30 AM	#6
ryder Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Belleville, Ontario Posts: 25,704	The first couple weeks are hard no matter what you do, it is a huge adjustment. But I dont find myself worrying about too much... I try and stay calm.

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2008, 10:50 AM	#8
bex Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: uk Posts: 2,040	Like the others have said its very hard work in the beginning, it does get easier and when you get that first smile it makes it all worthwhile. This is my 2nd child and i'd forgotten how hard it was. I personally think the first 6 wks are the worst. I've got a very supportive husband and usually if i'm really tired he takes over and if he's tired i take over. Try not to worry through your pregnancy and talk thinhs through as it will make you feel better.

Status: Offline

Dec 28th, 2008, 11:35 AM	#9
lollylou1 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Telford Shropshire Posts: 4,906	i had similar worries to you hun, when Annabelle arrived it was new worries that set into place, is she drinking enough, is she warm enough etc, i love her to pieces and wouldnt be without her, it is hard and very tiring and like today i havent slept more than 5 hours in 2 days but you just need go with the flow Lou xxx
	Personalised dummy/toy clips, key chains and childrens ID bracelets. [Click Here]
Status: Offline

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