Dior just WONT settle

Dionne · Apr 23rd, 2007, 07:21 AM

i have been taking Dior for settling in periods at her new nursery. we go 1 hour a day 3 days a week. she is petrified.
at first she would not let go of my hand after 7 hrs now of settling in i have not been able to leave her
today they told me to leave her and let her cry it out she would soon calm down. this was fine by me. but 30mins after he screaming none stop they had to come get me. i can see they are worried.
so next week i have to go every day for 1 hr!!!
Dior is still real upset today and is is bed looking sad. she HATES it she is a very insecure child and i dont no why
its really upsetting

i asked what will happen in 2 weeks when i have my first day back at work and if she screams they said if she just wont settle i will have to collect her!!!! i cannot just leave work!!! plus ins a 30min bus ride to my office!!!
what am i going to do. no family can have the kids.

but on the plus side Harley loves it. i have not helped him settle in he just goes of and does his thing he is very confident

hypnorm · Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:02 AM

Wish i could offer advice but i can't - it must be so gut wrenching to see her like that.

Layla · Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:10 AM

same as Hypnorm really, i dontknow what to sugest or say, hopefuly she will start to get used to it there.

must be hard, sorry hun

xx

Imi · Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:10 AM

Has she got something like a confort blanket or a fav puzzle she can take with her to interact with one of the childminders with??

Apart from that i really not sure ...

Poor dior, hope it settles down for you soon ... *hugs*

xxx

stephlw25 · Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:20 AM

Does she get separated from Harley when shes there? e.g harley with the babies and Dior with the toddlers? if so would it help if they stayed together until she was more settled? sorry dont know what else to suggest, must be awful for you to see her in such a state.

Dionne · Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephlw25

Does she get separated from Harley when shes there? e.g harley with the babies and Dior with the toddlers? if so would it help if they stayed together until she was more settled? sorry dont know what else to suggest, must be awful for you to see her in such a state.

they are in seperate rooms
Dior is happier in Harleys room Harley is in the baby room 6weeks - walking
but i dout they would allow her in there.
its nice and peacefull and calm in Harleys room where as in Diors its a bit manic with loads of toddlers!
i dont no what to do

Caroline · Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:29 AM

could you maybe stay for longer such as a morning session with her, maybe its fear of the unknown. If u stay for longer she can see what happens wit you around. When she knows what goes on maybe she would be happier on her own

Jo · Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:34 AM

I agree with Caroline, an hour doesn't seem long enough for her to get used to it, in my experiance most children do settle in time as they get more and more used to the routine of the day.
I don't think they will let her in to the baby room as it all goes on adult to child ratios
Also Imi's idea was a good one of taking something special to Dior with her

good luck hun, i know it is awful to go through xx

Dionne · Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:58 AM

i dout they will let me stay longer.
they kepp reminding me that the 1hr settling in is free. if Dior dont settle towards the end i might have to though!

i am thinking about getting Dior a horse toy she loves horses and has no toys of them, so it might be nice for her and she can only have it for nursery. might make her feel brave??

i just asked her "Dior did you like nursery"
she said "no mummy nursery gone" then she waved out the window saying "byyyyeeee"

might get kris to try the next settling in see how she behaves for him

Cat · Apr 23rd, 2007, 10:17 AM

an you try asking if they will let her go in with Harley and the younger tots to start with just while she builds her confidence. If she is not used to being with other kids it might just be a bit to intimidating for her.

Or does she have any comfort objects at home like blanket, or toys, teddy, that she can take with her just for famiarity.

Sounds a good idea to get Kris to take her, she might just play up with you cause she knows she can. Alternatively try to take her out loads over the next couple of weeks to loads of baby groups and swimming and stuff so she gets used to being round other people and children?

Apr 23rd, 2007, 07:21 AM	#1
Dionne Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Mars Posts: 1,584	Dior just WONT settle i have been taking Dior for settling in periods at her new nursery. we go 1 hour a day 3 days a week. she is petrified. at first she would not let go of my hand after 7 hrs now of settling in i have not been able to leave her today they told me to leave her and let her cry it out she would soon calm down. this was fine by me. but 30mins after he screaming none stop they had to come get me. i can see they are worried. so next week i have to go every day for 1 hr!!! Dior is still real upset today and is is bed looking sad. she HATES it she is a very insecure child and i dont no why its really upsetting i asked what will happen in 2 weeks when i have my first day back at work and if she screams they said if she just wont settle i will have to collect her!!!! i cannot just leave work!!! plus ins a 30min bus ride to my office!!! what am i going to do. no family can have the kids. but on the plus side Harley loves it. i have not helped him settle in he just goes of and does his thing he is very confident

Status: Offline

Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:02 AM	#2
hypnorm Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Stroud, Gloucester Posts: 4,505	Wish i could offer advice but i can't - it must be so gut wrenching to see her like that.

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Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:10 AM	#3
Layla Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Wales Posts: 6,732	same as Hypnorm really, i dontknow what to sugest or say, hopefuly she will start to get used to it there. must be hard, sorry hun xx

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Apr 23rd, 2007, 08:10 AM	#4
Imi Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 7,857	Has she got something like a confort blanket or a fav puzzle she can take with her to interact with one of the childminders with?? Apart from that i really not sure ... Poor dior, hope it settles down for you soon ... hugs xxx

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Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:20 AM	#5
stephlw25 Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Cornwall Posts: 2,155	Does she get separated from Harley when shes there? e.g harley with the babies and Dior with the toddlers? if so would it help if they stayed together until she was more settled? sorry dont know what else to suggest, must be awful for you to see her in such a state.

Status: Offline

Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:29 AM	#7
Caroline Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: North Devon Posts: 4,258	could you maybe stay for longer such as a morning session with her, maybe its fear of the unknown. If u stay for longer she can see what happens wit you around. When she knows what goes on maybe she would be happier on her own

Status: Offline

Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:34 AM	#8
Jo Mum (Mom) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: West yorkshire Posts: 14,503	I agree with Caroline, an hour doesn't seem long enough for her to get used to it, in my experiance most children do settle in time as they get more and more used to the routine of the day. I don't think they will let her in to the baby room as it all goes on adult to child ratios Also Imi's idea was a good one of taking something special to Dior with her good luck hun, i know it is awful to go through xx

Status: Offline

Apr 23rd, 2007, 09:58 AM	#9
Dionne Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Mars Posts: 1,584	i dout they will let me stay longer. they kepp reminding me that the 1hr settling in is free. if Dior dont settle towards the end i might have to though! i am thinking about getting Dior a horse toy she loves horses and has no toys of them, so it might be nice for her and she can only have it for nursery. might make her feel brave?? i just asked her "Dior did you like nursery" she said "no mummy nursery gone" then she waved out the window saying "byyyyeeee" might get kris to try the next settling in see how she behaves for him

Status: Offline

Apr 23rd, 2007, 10:17 AM	#10
Cat Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,066	an you try asking if they will let her go in with Harley and the younger tots to start with just while she builds her confidence. If she is not used to being with other kids it might just be a bit to intimidating for her. Or does she have any comfort objects at home like blanket, or toys, teddy, that she can take with her just for famiarity. Sounds a good idea to get Kris to take her, she might just play up with you cause she knows she can. Alternatively try to take her out loads over the next couple of weeks to loads of baby groups and swimming and stuff so she gets used to being round other people and children?

Status: Offline

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