Mothers Day - Am I an ungrateful cow or do I have a right to be upset by this? - Page 4

MrsQ · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milkmachine

i didnt get anything for either of the mothers days that i have had and i would have been happy with the choc buttons. at least you were thought about :-)

i agree.
i got a card.
his mum got a bathrobe flowers and chocs.
i didn t get a lay in, had the baby stuck top me all day and didnt get a chance to even have a wash!

TennisGal · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:23 AM

I can see why you're disappointed - but maybe your DH didn't realise (as others have said) how important it was to you? Maybe have a little chat...and you could re-schedule Mothers Day for this weekend, when all three of you could do something lovely together?

I got framed pic of DD (a fave pic) with some little bits and...wobbly handwriting card!

However, I'd say DH and I like to make more of a fuss of our Mums on Mothers Day - they've done lots for us this year, and tbh, we wanted to do something nice for entire family. So no lie in for any of us!! Us all being together was just lovely for all of us.

Angel21 · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:40 AM

I'm still upset, and not sure whether I'm just being spoilt/unreasonable. I had nothing in the morning, we went out to his mom's, gave her a card and a CD, got home from there at 8pm, then I got a card at 8.30pm, when asked why it didn't make it's way to me until this late, he answers "I forgot this morning". So, spent half of yesterday crying, he could get his mom and card and gift, and REMEMBER to give it to her....but I got just a card, which he forgot to give to me till late evening!
He says I'm not HIS mom, so it didn't come naturally for him to remember. We're not talking right now, coz he said I should think myself lucky he even remembered the card!!!!

Some chocolate buttons would've been good....

honey08 · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:45 AM

wait till fathers day and do the same

really feel 4 ya x

Buffy71 · Mar 16th, 2010, 04:45 AM

Depends really. Did you get a nice pressie for having lo? I told him not to het me a pressie for mothers day as I got an eternity ring and some jewellery for having her. He got me a card from H but that was all.

We chose his mums pressies together.

I don't think it's the lack of gift that's peeing you off as much as the fact he didn't spend time with you. THAT is something I'd take issue with.

However I don't think there is much point in making him feel bad about it now, he can't fix it retrospectively and men get a bit shitty with us when they feel guilty.

Just make sure you tell him next year what you expect.

Can I ask why you didn't say something to him on the day and let him know how much it meant to you to do something as a family? Men are crap at empathy. Or did you tell him and he didn't respond. Blimin men.

Hugs to you sweety. As purple says, get yourself to the doc if you think you may have pnd. Xxxxx

Blondie · Mar 16th, 2010, 05:33 AM

I got a thank you card, bar of chocolate and a small bunch of flowers when I had her - to be honest I think he spent more at the pub when he left the hospital than he did on buying me something

- I'm really not materialistic at all, but occasionally just a bit of thought being put into something would be nice

He did ask me why I was so sad and I told him that I missed having him around as I got lonely with just me and Z but he just said that he had too much work to do

(And then spent an hour on the phone to his brother). Last night in bed he told me that he hates seeing me so sad but I just said I'm fine as I didn't want to start an argument or start crying on him so I guess that's the end of the matter.

Though my little sister is visiting with her family this weekend and I've told him that he is babysitting whilst me and my sis go out for a nice meal on Saturday

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffy71

Depends really. Did you get a nice pressie for having lo? I told him not to het me a pressie for mothers day as I got an eternity ring and some jewellery for having her. He got me a card from H but that was all.

We chose his mums pressies together.

I don't think it's the lack of gift that's peeing you off as much as the fact he didn't spend time with you. THAT is something I'd take issue with.

However I don't think there is much point in making him feel bad about it now, he can't fix it retrospectively and men get a bit shitty with us when they feel guilty.

Just make sure you tell him next year what you expect.

Can I ask why you didn't say something to him on the day and let him know how much it meant to you to do something as a family? Men are crap at empathy. Or did you tell him and he didn't respond. Blimin men.

Hugs to you sweety. As purple says, get yourself to the doc if you think you may have pnd. Xxxxx

pheobe · Mar 16th, 2010, 05:54 AM

I didnt even get a card...men are shit!

big hugs

xxx

lalitas charm · Mar 16th, 2010, 06:56 AM

Awww hun that does suck. Men can be so useless. My DH didnt get me an xmas card from B which really hurt my feelings and I made sure he knew so he wouldnt forget mothers day.

I think there was some kind of miracle coz I got a moonpig card from him (telling me that I'm doing a great job), a great big card from B with her handprint in it and a scrawly line where he'd given her a pen. I also got a couple of presents which made me wonder had my DH ever met me before but at least her thought.

If you are feeling low and may have PND then please speak to your GP and HV. Also it is good to tell your OH, I found it very difficult to tell my DH how I was feeling and he felt like I was having a go at him for not helping enough so we had some awful rows but once we got past that it was much better. My HV gave me a leaflet about pnd for my dh to read and that helped him understand what was happening with me and to how to help me. I hope you can get the support you deserve.

Buffy71 · Mar 16th, 2010, 06:59 AM

Stupid boys. Have a lovely time with your sister.

Happy Mothers Day lovely Phoebe. Xxxx

Aunty E · Mar 16th, 2010, 09:08 AM

Presents for having the baby? Wow, that would have been nice. One person got me a 'having the baby' present, and it was absolutely beautiful, but it wasn't the person I would have expected to get me a present, ie the FATHER. I am cross about it, and I'm going to carry on being cross about it, and I'm sorry, I'm going to make him feel guilty. I spent six hours trying to push that baby out with her head stuck sideways and then spent the next six months looking after her pretty much by myself. I don't think a card on my very first Mother's Day is too much to ask. I would have really enjoyed finding him a Father's Day card and present, but maybe that's because generally I am a thoughtful and kind person. Not right now though. Now I'm a total cow.

Mar 16th, 2010, 04:23 AM	#32
TennisGal Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Bucks, UK Posts: 5,060	I can see why you're disappointed - but maybe your DH didn't realise (as others have said) how important it was to you? Maybe have a little chat...and you could re-schedule Mothers Day for this weekend, when all three of you could do something lovely together? I got framed pic of DD (a fave pic) with some little bits and...wobbly handwriting card! However, I'd say DH and I like to make more of a fuss of our Mums on Mothers Day - they've done lots for us this year, and tbh, we wanted to do something nice for entire family. So no lie in for any of us!! Us all being together was just lovely for all of us.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 04:40 AM	#33
Angel21 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Long Eaton Posts: 629	I'm still upset, and not sure whether I'm just being spoilt/unreasonable. I had nothing in the morning, we went out to his mom's, gave her a card and a CD, got home from there at 8pm, then I got a card at 8.30pm, when asked why it didn't make it's way to me until this late, he answers "I forgot this morning". So, spent half of yesterday crying, he could get his mom and card and gift, and REMEMBER to give it to her....but I got just a card, which he forgot to give to me till late evening! He says I'm not HIS mom, so it didn't come naturally for him to remember. We're not talking right now, coz he said I should think myself lucky he even remembered the card!!!! Some chocolate buttons would've been good....

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 04:45 AM	#34
honey08 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: north yorkshire,uk Posts: 28,682	wait till fathers day and do the same really feel 4 ya x

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 04:45 AM	#35
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	Depends really. Did you get a nice pressie for having lo? I told him not to het me a pressie for mothers day as I got an eternity ring and some jewellery for having her. He got me a card from H but that was all. We chose his mums pressies together. I don't think it's the lack of gift that's peeing you off as much as the fact he didn't spend time with you. THAT is something I'd take issue with. However I don't think there is much point in making him feel bad about it now, he can't fix it retrospectively and men get a bit shitty with us when they feel guilty. Just make sure you tell him next year what you expect. Can I ask why you didn't say something to him on the day and let him know how much it meant to you to do something as a family? Men are crap at empathy. Or did you tell him and he didn't respond. Blimin men. Hugs to you sweety. As purple says, get yourself to the doc if you think you may have pnd. Xxxxx

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 05:54 AM	#37
pheobe Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 764	I didnt even get a card...men are shit! big hugs xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 06:56 AM	#38
lalitas charm Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 3,415	Awww hun that does suck. Men can be so useless. My DH didnt get me an xmas card from B which really hurt my feelings and I made sure he knew so he wouldnt forget mothers day. I think there was some kind of miracle coz I got a moonpig card from him (telling me that I'm doing a great job), a great big card from B with her handprint in it and a scrawly line where he'd given her a pen. I also got a couple of presents which made me wonder had my DH ever met me before but at least her thought. If you are feeling low and may have PND then please speak to your GP and HV. Also it is good to tell your OH, I found it very difficult to tell my DH how I was feeling and he felt like I was having a go at him for not helping enough so we had some awful rows but once we got past that it was much better. My HV gave me a leaflet about pnd for my dh to read and that helped him understand what was happening with me and to how to help me. I hope you can get the support you deserve.

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 06:59 AM	#39
Buffy71 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: London Posts: 4,904	Stupid boys. Have a lovely time with your sister. Happy Mothers Day lovely Phoebe. Xxxx

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 09:08 AM	#40
Aunty E Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: London Posts: 4,020	Presents for having the baby? Wow, that would have been nice. One person got me a 'having the baby' present, and it was absolutely beautiful, but it wasn't the person I would have expected to get me a present, ie the FATHER. I am cross about it, and I'm going to carry on being cross about it, and I'm sorry, I'm going to make him feel guilty. I spent six hours trying to push that baby out with her head stuck sideways and then spent the next six months looking after her pretty much by myself. I don't think a card on my very first Mother's Day is too much to ask. I would have really enjoyed finding him a Father's Day card and present, but maybe that's because generally I am a thoughtful and kind person. Not right now though. Now I'm a total cow.

Status: Offline

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