So i have this girlfriend of mine shes 25 just had a baby end of december and all i ever read on her facebook is about how her mom has the baby so she can stay out all night partying or how her mom is sleeping over watching the baby all day and night. Dont get me wrong those mother who have babys who dont sleep through the night need to sleep now and than (thank god my boy sleeps all night). Though i personally wouldnt want someone else litterally raising my child. Shes always out at the gym everyday leaving her child with someone just seems she needs to get her priorities straight. On another rant she posted a picture of her babygirl sleeping in her crib and there was sooooo much stuff in the crib i almost died. First of all she is sleeping on a warm wool blanket in a warm sleeper with a cover over her the one that comes with the crib set and you shouldnt use till there older. Than on top of that she has two huge plastic toys in the crib the type you should have strapped to the crib itself. Than she has about 6 stuffys in the crib as well one huge one being right by her babys head. If this kid doesnt suffocate she is going to die from overheating. I want to say something to her as i worry for the childs sake but how do i say it with out sounding like a know it all or pushy. I had researched anything and everything i do and give to my baby before he was even born so i was well informed she clearly wasnt ready for a baby but i dont know how to bring these things up without sounding rude.

Dont mean to offend or be rude but i am sure the baby wont come to any harm by being looked after by her mom everyso often, good for her if she feels up to leaving babs so soon and has a mom that is willing to help out. everybody is different. and as for the gym i am jealous and would like some tips from her as to how she has managed it so soom lol.
Are you sure the cover/toys wasnt for a cute picture, I have put toys in my lo cot to take a pictures before. If her baby is that young and cant roll yet then ok although not recomended as long as the toys are out of reach baby is unlikely to get to them and come to harm.

I really would just leave her to it unless she is doing obvious harm to the baby, doing drugs leaving it alone etc. All mums are different and shoud be give the choice to bring up lo's as they choose (within reason). I am sure that there are lots of mums on here who bottle feed, co sleep, put babies on front, swaddle baby, dont use dummy, have baby in another room etc all which official advise advises against and i am sure they are perfectly good mums. If someone has managed to stick to all the "rules" good on you!
Maybee if you are close then mention the toys, duvet advice to her, she may not know the modern SIDs advice especially as if getting a lot of help from mum these rules wernt around in those days. Maybee you could help out and advise each other if you have babies the same age? Sorry if this offends but people who think they are "better parents" drive me mad.

Yeah, you can really say anything, it's up to her what kind of mum she is. I know it's frustrating, there's someone i used to know at school who's pregnant at the moment andni always updating her status with things about going out and drinking and having 'a bottle of wine - sorry bump' that drives me crazy but if I said something I dint think shed listen anyway.

I'd maybe say something about the toys but be prepared for her to be on the defensive.

i dont think its necessarily fair to say she is not a good mother based on her facebook status & the fact she goes to the gym. Its really tough when your baby does not sleep through, she prob just needs a rest & good on her for going to the gym, once we move back to uk i plan to go, that does not make me a bad mum!! in terms of the cot, she prob just doesnt know (if i did not join bnb there is loads i would not know) if you feel you need to say something i wouls say something like 'cute pic, bet it takes ages to take all those toys off at night' & approach it that way

My mom stayed at my place for almost 2 mnths when I gave birth. I had a very traumatic birth, & couldn't cope with being a mother. LO is FF, & she was taking full responsibility of him. I didnt have any experience with babies, & if she didnt do this I would have ended up with PND.

I went to the spa few times while she was taking care of him, I even had my hair done. I had quality time with DH who was also so stressful about the whole delivery & baby thing.

My mom lives abroad, & when she left, we were ready, in control, relaxed & excited about taking care of our LO & now we'r doing great with no help at all.

just like to say on the bed covers thing that i use a fleece topper thencover baby with a sleep bag, cellular, fleece blanket and a covelet (another fleece) and he's fine. it's cold at the mo and he's fine!

completely understand where you're coming from with the not looking after your own child thing. It's nice for people to help you esp in the beginning until you get to grips or the paion calms down but at the end of the day it is your child and you responsibility. You should be full time carer but you can also decide what's best for them such as covers or toys in cot.

If I were going to say anything I'd say it along the lines of:
Oh wow that's a cute teddy/blanket/toys, I've always been too scared to put them in with (whatever your boys name) after reading blah blah ... and go on from there.
That way you're giving her the information you know without ramming it in her face or saying your way is better. If she chooses not to listen or follow up on what you say there isn't a lot you can do.

You might be pleasantly surprised and like someone else said she could turn round and say they were just for a cute picture!

I guess you can't say really much but again its hard to judge from a facebook status/photos.

I know where you are coming from, my cousin got pregnant at 16 as she didnt want to work but wanted a house, and then when the baby was born, she finds any opportunity to had the LO over to her mum. Her mum isnt amused as its happening too often. Some people dont realise the responisibility!

To be honest i wouldn't say anything either as this could lead to a fall out and as others have said the teddies in the cot etc could have just been for a cute pic and maybe her mum loves looking after lo (although of course you know her best!)
The reason i say this is because i sometimes question how someone i know parents, they have two children yet seem to get babysitters alot for nights out on the town! I one commented and we had a small fall out! You just be the best mum you can be xx