ok i'll start by saying i have no problems with my parents or them seeing their first and only grandson.
but they have started to just keep turning up at my house unannounced ... they come probably twice a week arranged, but just turned up now as well (im in midst of feeding LO and about to go out).
they took us out shopping yesterday which was nice, they got themselves a key cut while we were out so they just let themselves in. i havent dared tell OH this as he already thinks theyre here too much. in a shop they srarted talking to some random woman about LO and saying how they 'dont see him very much'.
i know i should say something but i dont know what or how. i dont want to cause bad feeling and theyre always buying us things. our family isnt one that talks about stuff and i really dont know how to handle it. my mum tends to not show upset but just withdraws if she's hurt.

help!?

oh and now waiting in the kitchen helping themselves to a cake i made for oh's dad, playing with the radio etc!

I'm not one to pull my punches so I'd have just said "er... that cake is for ****'s dad :/" and "please knock first... this is MY home". Just be honest, nothing to be gained from trying to keep the peace if it's upsetting you and OH.

I thought my mum was bad...

x

i know i should. i just feel bad since theyre always running us around and paying for things etc. theyre retired so dont have anything going on. but oh reckons that i should challenge their belief that they dont see him much - once or twice a week is plenty we reckon ....
not very good with confrontations, especially with them!

It's once or twice a week for my parents too and they're not too bad about it these days, used to be far worse and I felt guilty all the time but it can just be too much. What would they think is acceptable?

I sometimes wonder if we'll forget how annoying we found it and start imposing on our children when they have young babies, I mean... they know what it's like but it doesn't stop them.

Why did you give them a key? That's the last thing I'd give my mum

Could tell them to use it as a spare key if you lock your self out, and to please knock and wait for you to open the door if you are at home.

My parents fly over every 2 wks, & they just stay. My mom came before my delivery & my dad & bro followed her after 1 wk from my delivery. Mom stayed for 2 mnths, & 1 wk after she left, my dad came again He's been here for 2 wks now, & I dont think he's planning to leave soon. Mama is planning to come again in March, stay for 2 wks, then the whole family is visiting during the summer break. How convenient

I'd just start by dropping a few hints, then get a little more blunt if they don't take the hint. You are being completely reasonable. I'd say they see your LO a lot more than most grandparents.

I live a 10hr plane flight from my parents so kind of have the opposite problem

Blimey! I would feel a bit annoyed too - the key is a bit much, why do they think that they cant knock like everyone else?
The cake - was it uncut? I'd have gone MAD if anyone did that - I know they are your parents but that is plain rude!

I know what you mean about your mum, mine is the same, she would just stay quiet and hurt rather than realising why you say what you do and moving on!

My mum is always nipping round, but she is never offended if I say I can only chat for 15 mins etc as I am popping out, sometimes we go off together! Have you tried saying that? - how does she take that - do they expect you to cancel what you doing?!

My dad is always dropping by, but he does always text me first! My mum see's LO once every two weeks... if that!

I'm trying to think what you can say... my family our quite different and very up front about things. If i had a problem with mum or dad coming over i would say something and know they wouldn't be offended. But because your family seems quite different i'm not too sure how you should go about it.

Maybe try and make a joke out of it? Like 'Wow, no one i know has their parents over this often! You guys are lucky seeing so much of LO!' and 'Whoa, the key was for emergences, please knock cuz i don't want you guys to catch me when i'm walking around naked!'

OR

you could go the complete opposite, and if you know how sensitive your mum is you could sit her down and tell her 'i really dont want to upset you but i know you will respect me being honest with you, but please try and call before you come over as i'm very often busy, or enjoying alone time with LO. I know you want to spend more time with him, but we're in a routine i need to keep to and you guys popping over randomly keeps messing it up. I'm sure you understand. etc etc' and just be really gentle and sensitive about it?

All i can suggest! Good luck!! x