those who use CIO or CC - how young?

cutie4evr01 · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:41 PM

The past 2 days hubby and I have been having arguments because he wants to leave our almost 5 week old alone to cry herself to sleep!

I am not necessarily opposed to CIO or CC, but I feel she is far too young, so I don't mind rocking or nursing her to sleep for now. He is concerned because she will go to daycare when she is 8 weeks old and he thinks she needs to know how to fall asleep on her own before she begins there.

Also, the idea behind CIO is leaving them only once you know all their needs have been met - fed, changed, etc.; and since we are BF, I never really feel like I know for sure that she's not hungry. She eats every 1-2 hours in the day and never really seems satisfied, and does go longer at night after having a bottle of EBM. But I can't leave her to cry when she might be hungry!

I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just having a rant, but I'd be interested to hear how old your LOs were when/if you tried CIO/CC to get them to fall asleep on their own.

cupcake · Feb 10th, 2010, 12:43 PM

oh no, not before 6 months, she is too small, I dont think she is capable of learning that yet.
The first few months they just learn trust, that you come when they need it, that you hold and rock and nurse etc.

anothersquish · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:07 PM

5 weeks is far to young to even consider using CC (I refuse to comment on CIO for any age baby/child) most places dont recommend starting it til 6 months + and thats sites/people PRO CC.

FemmeEnceinte · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:19 PM

Your baby is far too young to be crying for anything other than simply needing you. If you ignore them at this age, all you are teaching them is that you do't listen so there's no point trying. It has the potential to be damaging and, either way, it is very unlikely to even work at this age without taking it to extremes.

As for ever using it, it should really be your last resort in a desperate situation and, even then, it's not for me.

purpledahlia · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:24 PM

call me dumb, i know what CIO is.. whats CC ??

I also think 5 weeks is WAY too young, but then i dont agree with CIO anyways.

**Arcanegirl** · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:26 PM

CIO - cry it out

For either method 6 months MINIMUM!

cutie4evr01 · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:30 PM

I think I'll show my hubby this thread. I'm sitting here crying even thinking about leaving her to cry! I don't mind staying up with her in the nights, and if she doesn't nap at daycare, I don't think it will be the end of the world.

Seraphim · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:32 PM

Lots of men feel like this is The Right Attitude for them to adopt. Mine did, for all of 5 seconds. They really need to do their own reading.

When H was small and cried, once I found the 'need' I drew his attention to it 'Ah she was hungry/tired/cold/uncomfy/needed to burp'

I have an ounce of sympathy because they don't have the knowledge we get from all our talking to eachother, but CIO/CC... no.

I think men feel their authority will be judged by outsiders if they dont have control over this smallest of human beings.

He'll get over it.

But

to you in the meantime xx

purpledahlia · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:33 PM

Once LO is in a routine she will learn to nap at daycare anyways, the nursery staff couldnt have her crying for ages being ignored either, they will get in trouble. so if LO cries there then staff will have to soothe her.. its their job. so dont worry, babys still small and learning, just let LO guide you a few more weeks and unconciously a routine will emerge

FemmeEnceinte · Feb 10th, 2010, 13:34 PM

CC is controlled crying, which is where you go back to them every 10 mins to settle them and leave again. CIO is just leaving them to it...

You should really tell your husband that any decent daycare wouldn't leave her to scream either... babys cry, such is life.

Feb 10th, 2010, 12:41 PM	#1
cutie4evr01 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 2,238	those who use CIO or CC - how young? The past 2 days hubby and I have been having arguments because he wants to leave our almost 5 week old alone to cry herself to sleep! I am not necessarily opposed to CIO or CC, but I feel she is far too young, so I don't mind rocking or nursing her to sleep for now. He is concerned because she will go to daycare when she is 8 weeks old and he thinks she needs to know how to fall asleep on her own before she begins there. Also, the idea behind CIO is leaving them only once you know all their needs have been met - fed, changed, etc.; and since we are BF, I never really feel like I know for sure that she's not hungry. She eats every 1-2 hours in the day and never really seems satisfied, and does go longer at night after having a bottle of EBM. But I can't leave her to cry when she might be hungry! I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just having a rant, but I'd be interested to hear how old your LOs were when/if you tried CIO/CC to get them to fall asleep on their own.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 12:43 PM	#2
cupcake Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: middle east Posts: 4,375	oh no, not before 6 months, she is too small, I dont think she is capable of learning that yet. The first few months they just learn trust, that you come when they need it, that you hold and rock and nurse etc.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:07 PM	#3
anothersquish Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,415	5 weeks is far to young to even consider using CC (I refuse to comment on CIO for any age baby/child) most places dont recommend starting it til 6 months + and thats sites/people PRO CC.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:19 PM	#4
FemmeEnceinte Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,903	Your baby is far too young to be crying for anything other than simply needing you. If you ignore them at this age, all you are teaching them is that you do't listen so there's no point trying. It has the potential to be damaging and, either way, it is very unlikely to even work at this age without taking it to extremes. As for ever using it, it should really be your last resort in a desperate situation and, even then, it's not for me.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:24 PM	#5
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	call me dumb, i know what CIO is.. whats CC ?? I also think 5 weeks is WAY too young, but then i dont agree with CIO anyways.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:26 PM	#6
Arcanegirl Pregnant (Expecting) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,663	CIO - cry it out For either method 6 months MINIMUM!

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Feb 10th, 2010, 13:30 PM	#7
cutie4evr01 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Posts: 2,238	I think I'll show my hubby this thread. I'm sitting here crying even thinking about leaving her to cry! I don't mind staying up with her in the nights, and if she doesn't nap at daycare, I don't think it will be the end of the world.

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:32 PM	#8
Seraphim Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Dartmoor, Devon Posts: 7,077	Lots of men feel like this is The Right Attitude for them to adopt. Mine did, for all of 5 seconds. They really need to do their own reading. When H was small and cried, once I found the 'need' I drew his attention to it 'Ah she was hungry/tired/cold/uncomfy/needed to burp' I have an ounce of sympathy because they don't have the knowledge we get from all our talking to eachother, but CIO/CC... no. I think men feel their authority will be judged by outsiders if they dont have control over this smallest of human beings. He'll get over it. But to you in the meantime xx

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:33 PM	#9
purpledahlia Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 14,871	Once LO is in a routine she will learn to nap at daycare anyways, the nursery staff couldnt have her crying for ages being ignored either, they will get in trouble. so if LO cries there then staff will have to soothe her.. its their job. so dont worry, babys still small and learning, just let LO guide you a few more weeks and unconciously a routine will emerge

Status: Offline

Feb 10th, 2010, 13:34 PM	#10
FemmeEnceinte Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 5,903	CC is controlled crying, which is where you go back to them every 10 mins to settle them and leave again. CIO is just leaving them to it... You should really tell your husband that any decent daycare wouldn't leave her to scream either... babys cry, such is life.

Status: Offline

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