Hi guys.
Basically my husband has always been lovely and amazing but since i had the baby i cant do anything right??? 2 weeks ago today i had an emergency c section.
Lately hes always f-ing and blinding at anything and has such a short temper.
He has been great and has tidied up the house and had made sure i was fed and watered etc but seemed to begrudge it? Whilst i was on maternity leave before my baby i would make sure he had dinner on the table etc. Fair enough the house was a state but i was in agony with my back.

Two nights ago we had a major row as on facebook we have photos and his mother had put that our baby looks like my dad and if you know me me and my dad hate eachother and i found this offensive.... so said no way does he look like my dad. She then commented how he has brown eyes and red hair.... he has blue eyes and mousey brown to blonde hair and i said so and then my sister said a ginger comment and I said can people stop being horrible about my son, and her comment basically was like f u and i wont comment about YOUR son.
Before the pregnancy she was OTT and kept asking how her granddaughter was and how HER baby was and i would reply that mty husband was fine and i was fine and as far as i was aware the baby was fine too.

He thought i was out of order for not putting a lol after my comment. but why would i say stop being horrible to my son lol? I aint joking I mean DONT be nasty to my son.

Anyway we seemed to resolve it but the next morning he was off with me again and he was meant to go back to work but couldbnt get the trains so had one extra day home. he looked after mikey whilst i had a nice long bath which i was gagging for as i am constantly breastfeeding. then i came down and went on msn and chatted to my mates whilst he had the baby. My husband was watching te football and i had said i would do dinner but to be honest i forgot as i wasnt hungry but he sat there waiting.
We then had a massive row that i just think about the baby and not him anymore and that i am selfish! And he has to have some time out to think things through!

Our son is 2 weeks old. Before he came along yes my husband was my world but now my son is everythin and more to me and i cant help putting him first?
I have had him in his moses basket most of today as i feel guilty that i want to cuddle him now.

I just dunno what to do as i wont have anything if he leaves me as i am on maternity getting the minimum amount! I dont think he will leave me but its really scaring me that he will.... oh and the whole sex issue keeps coming up too! I love my husband to bits and thought this time was supposed to be all in a huge bubble not being scared your husband will leave you?

xx

Hun..........I know that I was in a complete bubble of shock and love two weeks after the baby, you mst look after yourself and LO as a priority.
Could he also be a little taken aback at how much life changed when a baby comes along???
Have you sat down and explained how you are feeling?? How utterly draining BF is??
I know that Si loves Billy totally but I dont think he has that all encompassing mummy instinct that pulls in your tummy if you feel that someone is being nasty about your child. Of course you will defend Michael.

I dunno he says i am selfish and have done nothing around the house but if i am not breastfeeding i am so tired i cant move as i am up feeding at night. He thinkis i dont love him anymore but thats so far from the truth its just mikey relys on me and i cant put hubby first anymore. When i said all i think about is the baby he said well there you go. Selfish.

the drs had said i was on the verge on pnd when they say me last week cos of the way the birth went and i was having trouble bfing. I just feel if this carries on i should just run away!

I'm sorry hun but from what you have said I think he is being a little selfish.......of course you need to feed your baby and this will make you tired....he should be proud of you for persevering when the BF was hard, stuff the housework, as Michael gets older it does get easier and you will be able to do more but for now you and LO are the priority.
Have you told him how down you feel, how the birth and feeding issues have effected you, TBH it sounds like he is still getting used to not being number 1.......but again as LO gets older sleeps for longer etc you will be able to factor in couple time. He should be looking after you!!!! (sorry if this is a little harsh)
xxxxx

yea dont get me wrong he has been looking after me but said i dont appreciate it? But i dunno how i can show i appreciate it.
I offered to run him a bath last night and he said no
I offered to sleep on the sofa witht eh baby and he said no.

I just feel really low today and just dont know what to do.
I have spoken to him about everything and been in hysterical tears over the whole birth and the fact that i found things so hard and my independence has been taken away!
x

he might need some time to adjust, the first few weeks are stressful on relationships. you'll get through it, just hang in there

Cliche I know but things will get easier......LO will get bigger and you will be able to get out more. I felt the same it is a huge life adjustment, you prob still have the 'baby blues', is there a breastfeeding group you could go too nearby?? Or a family member you could leave LO with for an hour or two whilst you go and treat yourself??
xx

It is actually possible for fathers to get jealous of babies, they like to be mothered (even though they wouldnt admit this!!) but they do! They then get a little shock when the baby comes along and find out that they need to fend for themselves a bit more. I've managed to get that balance now with my partner and Summer, i'm getting sleep etc so i am able to look after both of them lol (mad i know!!) At first it is hard and it will be for a while longer yet but i think you need to speak to your husband. Dont go straight in with the 'i feel like you're going to leave me' as that might get his back up, just tell him you are tired and trying your best but feeling a bit concerned about the arguements etc. Let us know how you get on hunny x

thanks guys.
xxx

Hey hun,

It can be so hard at first me and my hubby went through a rough patch too,for so long it was just the two of us and we did what we wanted when we wanted and dint really have any worries.Is so hard we both found it difficult and i was the same as you i had a section and found even the most basic things were hard.
You need to make more time for yourselves if possible my mum had the baby 1 night for us to go out for dinner and for even just a couple of hours we had some us time,its prob he is worried that you love the baby more than him.
Now i even let my mother in law have the baby sometimes even though she riles me up something rotten but it is essential that you have the us time!!
It does get easier it really does as long as you love each other things will get better the tiredness prob doesnt help either!!!