Returning to work! Why does everyone have to know!!!

helent1983 · Jan 14th, 2010, 08:22 AM

My maternity does not end until June and I haven't decided what I want to do yet. I might go back part time or not at all (depends on whether I can get a home business set up). The thing is everyone who sees me recently (family and friends) have been asking me "have you decided when you are going back to work yet". I answer "no I am not sure what we are doing yet" and I get a look as if to say "well you better go back how could you possible not go back!!" It is really getting me down.

I don't know what to say to people! Why are they so interested I have 6 months yet to decide anyway!!!

What do you think I should say to people to get them off my back?

Thanks girls (and boys)!

xx

**Arcanegirl** · Jan 14th, 2010, 08:26 AM

I start back next week and im still getting asked! No idea what to say to them though.

helent1983 · Jan 14th, 2010, 08:28 AM

Oh what a nightmare still getting asked and you return next week! Don't think I would cope with that I would end up snapping back at them!

xx

pip holder · Jan 14th, 2010, 08:31 AM

I HATE this!

Feel like I've spent half my mat leave saying 'back in 4 months' 'back in 3 months' etc.

Apart from the fact that its like a bloody big poke in the chest even being asked because I would love longer but can't afford it - why do people want to know ( unless I work with them!!!!)

ellie · Jan 14th, 2010, 08:47 AM

Im planning to go back in Sept and it was one of the first things people would ask me even in early pregnancy!!! closely followed by who will look after them for you! i wish i knew why everyone has to know every bloody detail!!
i try to just fob people off until i want to talk about it!

Mum2b_Claire · Jan 14th, 2010, 12:16 PM

oh yes this is verrrry annoying! Another thing that annoys me is 'but what will you do if she's ill and can't go to the childminder?' errr I'll have to stay home with her won't I! This from my BOSS who has 2 children of her own and regularly stays home due to them being sick etc... she knows the rules about parental leave too!
Oh god another similar thing that I hate is 'will your mum be looking after Ruby?' err no, my mum has a JOB??

Kte · Jan 14th, 2010, 12:32 PM

I agree, I was being asked before I even left on MAT leave!

I just think 'don't remind me please that I have to go back!' The time I have off is rubbish, Chloe is 11 weeks old on Saturdya and I have to go back 1 day a week starting this coming Monday. I am using up all but a weeks holiday to make sure I have longer off with her so I am back for a full 5 days again in March, she will just have gone 4 months!

kiki · Jan 14th, 2010, 12:38 PM

Why not say something like 'I haven't decided if or when I am going back, or how many hours I am going to work, or Who will look after my baby if I go back, heck, I havent even decided what I am going to wear on my first day back, should I of course decide to go back,but, once I have made a decision, you can be assured you will be the FIRST to know, seeing as you obviously cant sleep properly until you know MY business.'

Harsh, but I bet they wont ask again!!

xxx

Eala · Jan 14th, 2010, 12:41 PM

Heh, the first thing my MIL asked my hubby when he told her that I was pregnant was "What about her course?!", as I'm a nursing student. Since then, I get the questions too, but about Uni rather than work. "Who's going to look after the baby?" - A childminder, we're looking into that now. "What about when you're on placement?" Erm.. a childminder again? WTF? I get the whole "Why isn't your Mum helping out?!" thing too. From where I'm sitting, I'm lucky in that I'll get a lot of help with childcare costs from my Uni and the Government. My Mum and Dad are thoroughly enjoying being retired, I'm not about to ask them to commit to caring for *my* child full time! They already raised me, goodness knows that was traumatic enough

helent1983 · Jan 14th, 2010, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kiki

Why not say something like 'I haven't decided if or when I am going back, or how many hours I am going to work, or Who will look after my baby if I go back, heck, I havent even decided what I am going to wear on my first day back, should I of course decide to go back,but, once I have made a decision, you can be assured you will be the FIRST to know, seeing as you obviously cant sleep properly until you know MY business.'

Harsh, but I bet they wont ask again!!

xxx

LOL -thanks babe good idea!! x

Jan 14th, 2010, 08:22 AM	#1
helent1983 Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Leeds Posts: 776	Returning to work! Why does everyone have to know!!! My maternity does not end until June and I haven't decided what I want to do yet. I might go back part time or not at all (depends on whether I can get a home business set up). The thing is everyone who sees me recently (family and friends) have been asking me "have you decided when you are going back to work yet". I answer "no I am not sure what we are doing yet" and I get a look as if to say "well you better go back how could you possible not go back!!" It is really getting me down. I don't know what to say to people! Why are they so interested I have 6 months yet to decide anyway!!! What do you think I should say to people to get them off my back? Thanks girls (and boys)! xx

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 08:26 AM	#2
Arcanegirl Pregnant (Expecting) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Glasgow Posts: 25,664	I start back next week and im still getting asked! No idea what to say to them though.

Status: Online

Jan 14th, 2010, 08:28 AM	#3
helent1983 Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Leeds Posts: 776	Oh what a nightmare still getting asked and you return next week! Don't think I would cope with that I would end up snapping back at them! xx

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 08:31 AM	#4
pip holder Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,908	I HATE this! Feel like I've spent half my mat leave saying 'back in 4 months' 'back in 3 months' etc. Apart from the fact that its like a bloody big poke in the chest even being asked because I would love longer but can't afford it - why do people want to know ( unless I work with them!!!!)

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 08:47 AM	#5
ellie Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: south wales Posts: 3,818	Im planning to go back in Sept and it was one of the first things people would ask me even in early pregnancy!!! closely followed by who will look after them for you! i wish i knew why everyone has to know every bloody detail!! i try to just fob people off until i want to talk about it!

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 12:16 PM	#6
Mum2b_Claire Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Kent Posts: 13,907	oh yes this is verrrry annoying! Another thing that annoys me is 'but what will you do if she's ill and can't go to the childminder?' errr I'll have to stay home with her won't I! This from my BOSS who has 2 children of her own and regularly stays home due to them being sick etc... she knows the rules about parental leave too! Oh god another similar thing that I hate is 'will your mum be looking after Ruby?' err no, my mum has a JOB??

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 12:32 PM	#7
Kte Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 4,533	I agree, I was being asked before I even left on MAT leave! I just think 'don't remind me please that I have to go back!' The time I have off is rubbish, Chloe is 11 weeks old on Saturdya and I have to go back 1 day a week starting this coming Monday. I am using up all but a weeks holiday to make sure I have longer off with her so I am back for a full 5 days again in March, she will just have gone 4 months!

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 12:38 PM	#8
kiki Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 2,173	Why not say something like 'I haven't decided if or when I am going back, or how many hours I am going to work, or Who will look after my baby if I go back, heck, I havent even decided what I am going to wear on my first day back, should I of course decide to go back,but, once I have made a decision, you can be assured you will be the FIRST to know, seeing as you obviously cant sleep properly until you know MY business.' Harsh, but I bet they wont ask again!! xxx

Status: Offline

Jan 14th, 2010, 12:41 PM	#9
Eala Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Glasgow Posts: 7,223	Heh, the first thing my MIL asked my hubby when he told her that I was pregnant was "What about her course?!", as I'm a nursing student. Since then, I get the questions too, but about Uni rather than work. "Who's going to look after the baby?" - A childminder, we're looking into that now. "What about when you're on placement?" Erm.. a childminder again? WTF? I get the whole "Why isn't your Mum helping out?!" thing too. From where I'm sitting, I'm lucky in that I'll get a lot of help with childcare costs from my Uni and the Government. My Mum and Dad are thoroughly enjoying being retired, I'm not about to ask them to commit to caring for my child full time! They already raised me, goodness knows that was traumatic enough

Status: Offline

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