How have you coped?? I have to go back in a few weeks when Oliver will be just 6 months old. I have tried to compromise on so many things but financially it doesn't look like i can be a stay at home mum. I do want to work in a way and hoped they would take me 3 days a week but i have been told full time or nothing. I have tried to coaxe them into letting me do 4 days and they're thinking about it. But i still have this BIG ache when i think about leaving my son for the most part of a week. I'll miss his milestones, i can't teach him alot, it's really getting me down. He'll be with family, my mom for 2 days (which i'm quite against but it's going to have to be) my MIL for 1 day and my OH for the other. I know he'll be safe but there's just that separation that's getting to me.
Any tips on how to get through this with as little heartache as poss??
Any others in the same situation??
Sorry for the rant!!!
x x x

Hi hun

firstly I feel your pain, I went back at 8months full time and although it was really difficult emotionally it had to be done and there are also a lot of benefits for you & your little one, Seth was always very very shy til he went to nursery and now he is very confident, his development is incredible and they do so much every day that I just wouldnt have time to do with him at home. I also like work because I get adult conversation, starting to get my life back a little & appreciate sooo much more with Seth now, we dont waste a second.

Also I really dont feel like Ive missed any of his milestones, I go in and they dont really tell me what he's been doing, they never said "oh seth walked for the first time today", he might have done, but I never saw it and I never knew, so have always felt like Ive seen all of his 'firsts' iykwim?

It is incredibly hard at first, and I found the weeks leading up being worse than actually leaving him, and you do get used to it.

Did they give you a good reason why they wouldnt accept your part time hours? Im currently applying to work part time and Ive read you have to have a good business reason for them to knock it back.

x

I had to go back when LO was 13 weeks old (mat leave here in the US is not very generous). Work lets me work 4 10 hour days (instead of 5 8s) so I get 3 days a week off with him.

I won't lie. It sucks sometimes. Especially at first. The first weeks are the hardest. By far. You miss him, you ache for him, you think of little else. And the weeks leading up to it are just as bad as you dread it.

But it gets easier, it really does. I promise. You really won't miss as many milestones as you think you will. You have this insane fear that you won't see first steps, first rolls, first words, etc. But you will see most of those. And if you are second to see one or two of them, it is okay. It really is.

Now, I guard my time with him carefully -- I try to plan so that I can go home to him right after work and I enjoy my evenings with him. And I don't plan too much to do on the weekends where he can't go. The only exception to that is I try to plan a little time for just DH and me (Mommy and Daddy time is important, too).

It means I watch less TV (a good thing!), read less (not so good), and have less time for my other hobbies (not so good). It also means the housework doesn't get done in a timely fashion (EGADS the piles of laundry that need done! ).

But more importantly -- it means that I treasure and appreciate every minute I do have with him. I am IN that moment all the time.

It is not ideal, no way around that. But it isn't nearly as bad as you fear it will be. I promise. Just get through those first few weeks, then you will feel better.

I'm in the same situation! I go back to work on wed and im terrified! I really cant stand the thought of leaving Finn. He's been my everything for 6 months and I dont want to miss out on anything. Luckly I have accrued enough holiday to go back to work 3 days a week until march but after that its full time again.
I really dont know what to do for the best, I want to take some photos with me but then I can see that making it worse aswell, its horrible to have to leave them.
BIG HUGS xx

I'm in a similar situation - have to go back, cant afford not to.

However, I'm extremely lucky as my boss is very flexible and has been great so far. My request for 3 days has been accepted so I'll be doing every other day (Mon, Weds and Fri) so at least I can take it one day at a time.

I start back next Mon and for the past 2 nights I haven't slept at all because I'm constantly thinking about it. IL's are going to be looking after LO for us so I know she's safe, but like you, it tears me up knowing I'm not going to be the person to bring her up fully.

People might say that I should have thought about that before TTC but honestly, you really don't have any idea what it's going to be like until they're actually here.

I'm just trying to look on the positive sides.... We'll have more money so we can save for a better future for us all, she'll be with people who love her, she'll be social as she'll be used to different people and she'll also get the chance to interact with a dog as we've only got cats.

Trying to think positive... Doesn't make me sleep any better though
Sorry for the essay

Take them. I found it helps. I have photos of LO everywhere -- my desktop on both my monitors, a collage of 8 of them next to the computer... more on my bulletin board.

It has helped me!

It is shitty Hun, there aren't many perks. But like you said it's something that has to be done. It's tough being away from him and I only work 2 days , once the first week is over it gets less worrying, then it's just more of an effort. Maternity leave flys by.
X

Thanks for the replies, it's reassuring to know i'm not the only one and it can be done!!
They have said that due to the demand of the business (a few years ago they were taking less money than they are now) they can only take on full timers, yet they haven't rushed to replace me as they didn't expect me back anyway! I know plenty of people who are leaving so they should be taking who they can. Apparently job sharing isn't an option either, there is a woman who is in the same position.
I don't understand why they'd be willing to drop me who is fully trained and darn good at what i do and take on somebody who they'll have to spend money on, just to leave anyway due to the demand of the business.
I'm i a pickle!!!!!!!

Hugs to you too
I just don't know if i'll cope physically aswell as emotionally!! We'll just have to see i suppose!!
I well up just thinking about it!!

(hugs)
Two weeks after having my daughter I returned to the "office" 2 to 3 times a week, now everyday. I"m lucky cuz I get to bring my baby with me but this is a temp job and only going to last a few months.