Did anybody hire a doula?

Rachel_C · Nov 27th, 2009, 12:33 PM

I know it's a little soon to be thinking about giving birth again, but Leyla's birth didn't go how I wanted because the midwife kept talking me out of everything I wanted and convincing me to do things I didn't want! I've read online that a doula can help you get the birth you want and will liaise with the medical staff for you, so I think I would like to hire one for our next baby.

Does anybody have any experience with a doula? Was it worth it? Did she help you achieve the birth you wanted? Would you hire a doula again? Any experience you could share would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

marley2580 · Nov 27th, 2009, 16:21 PM

i didn't, but I do know one and my friend has hired her. She's a great source of information and support

Lois · Nov 28th, 2009, 15:40 PM

Hello,

I didn't hire a doula but I intend to next time. It makes far more sense to me to have a professional birthing partner who knows what's going on and how to provide support rather than expecting husband/partner/mum/friend to suddenly know how to support a woman in labour. My husband wasn't sure about it at first, thinking that I was basically saying "you're fired, I'm getting someone else in!" but after a chat he now supports the idea fully and understands that the doula will be there to support both of us rather than to replace him.

It sounds like you were given very little say during your first labour - I'm really sorry to hear that.

You've probably looked at it already but the Doula UK website is very useful.

Lx

Rachel_C · Nov 28th, 2009, 16:16 PM

Thanks, I definitely going to look into it properly. I still feel really awful about how things went with Leyla even though my husband keeps telling me it was fine. I feel guilty that I partly blame my OH sometimes for not sticking up for me when I couldn't do it for myself, but then I feel bad for expecting him to do that without telling him beforehand that I would need him to! So I think a doula is a great way of letting my hubby be there to hold my hand but also having somebody professional there to help me get what I want/need.

Thanks again.

Lois · Nov 28th, 2009, 16:25 PM

It can be very hard to just say "oh well, we're ok now" when you had a birth experience that was so different from what you hoped it would be. It took me several months, plenty of crying and a good long chat with the head of midwifery at the hospital where I gave birth before I started to feel I could put it behind me. Don't feel like you're supposed to just get over it with the click of a finger. You have every right to feel sad about your experience and if you want to chat about it you can find me here.

I empathise entirely with the anger towards OH thing. It was a bit of an issue for me for a while. Logic told me that he had no way of knowing what to do but emotions and logic can be a million miles apart! I found that once I worked through my upset about the birth experience overall I was able to let go of the anger I had been feeling.

Hugs to you.

Lx

codegirl · Nov 28th, 2009, 19:35 PM

We had a doula, and I will hire her again for our next birth. I didn't have the birth I wanted but she couldn't help with that, what she did do was help us formulate a birth plan, including if things didn't go as we wanted. When things didn't end up going as planned we had a "plan b" that she helped us move towards.

Although I didn't have the birth I had hoped for, I did have a positive experience and I think that had a lot to do with our Doula.

She also wrote up our birth story for us which I will treasure forever!

Nov 27th, 2009, 12:33 PM	#1
Rachel_C Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 6,839	Did anybody hire a doula? I know it's a little soon to be thinking about giving birth again, but Leyla's birth didn't go how I wanted because the midwife kept talking me out of everything I wanted and convincing me to do things I didn't want! I've read online that a doula can help you get the birth you want and will liaise with the medical staff for you, so I think I would like to hire one for our next baby. Does anybody have any experience with a doula? Was it worth it? Did she help you achieve the birth you wanted? Would you hire a doula again? Any experience you could share would be much appreciated. Thanks.

Status: Offline

Nov 27th, 2009, 16:21 PM	#2
marley2580 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Forfar Posts: 6,099	i didn't, but I do know one and my friend has hired her. She's a great source of information and support

Status: Offline

Nov 28th, 2009, 15:40 PM	#3
Lois Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Warwickshire Posts: 1,630	Hello, I didn't hire a doula but I intend to next time. It makes far more sense to me to have a professional birthing partner who knows what's going on and how to provide support rather than expecting husband/partner/mum/friend to suddenly know how to support a woman in labour. My husband wasn't sure about it at first, thinking that I was basically saying "you're fired, I'm getting someone else in!" but after a chat he now supports the idea fully and understands that the doula will be there to support both of us rather than to replace him. It sounds like you were given very little say during your first labour - I'm really sorry to hear that. You've probably looked at it already but the Doula UK website is very useful. Lx

Status: Offline

Nov 28th, 2009, 16:16 PM	#4
Rachel_C Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 6,839	Thanks, I definitely going to look into it properly. I still feel really awful about how things went with Leyla even though my husband keeps telling me it was fine. I feel guilty that I partly blame my OH sometimes for not sticking up for me when I couldn't do it for myself, but then I feel bad for expecting him to do that without telling him beforehand that I would need him to! So I think a doula is a great way of letting my hubby be there to hold my hand but also having somebody professional there to help me get what I want/need. Thanks again.

Status: Offline

Nov 28th, 2009, 16:25 PM	#5
Lois Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Warwickshire Posts: 1,630	It can be very hard to just say "oh well, we're ok now" when you had a birth experience that was so different from what you hoped it would be. It took me several months, plenty of crying and a good long chat with the head of midwifery at the hospital where I gave birth before I started to feel I could put it behind me. Don't feel like you're supposed to just get over it with the click of a finger. You have every right to feel sad about your experience and if you want to chat about it you can find me here. I empathise entirely with the anger towards OH thing. It was a bit of an issue for me for a while. Logic told me that he had no way of knowing what to do but emotions and logic can be a million miles apart! I found that once I worked through my upset about the birth experience overall I was able to let go of the anger I had been feeling. Hugs to you. Lx

Status: Offline

Nov 28th, 2009, 19:35 PM	#6
codegirl Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,418	We had a doula, and I will hire her again for our next birth. I didn't have the birth I wanted but she couldn't help with that, what she did do was help us formulate a birth plan, including if things didn't go as we wanted. When things didn't end up going as planned we had a "plan b" that she helped us move towards. Although I didn't have the birth I had hoped for, I did have a positive experience and I think that had a lot to do with our Doula. She also wrote up our birth story for us which I will treasure forever!

Status: Offline

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