I feel a terrible mother..

danni1979 · Nov 16th, 2009, 18:02 PM

OMG Safi has been crying since 6 and i have just had to leave the room i feel like i am such a bad mother and abandoning her

Shes been colicky since she got a cold at 3 weeks old,but just lately its sooooo bad,i have tried EVERYTHING i can think of to calm her,my gut is wrenching hearing her sob her heart out and i just cant do ANYTHING to ease her

Any help guys i feel so awful for my lil girl..but this is soooo hard to deal with

D
xx xx

history_girls · Nov 16th, 2009, 18:07 PM

Your not alone with that tonigh! Mine Lo not quite so bad but has just dropped off after a two and a half hour hysterical scream. Things i tried:
Walking
bum patting
singing
boiling the kettle (she normally likes that)
sitting next to dishwasher
rocking etc...
Even tried the OH!
Nothing was working. I had to put her down in her crib and have a good cry myself half an hour ago. Finally got her to calm down when i put her in the carrier and did some house work. She is now aseep attached to me and I dare not put her down!

Is there someone else who can try to calm her? The things above did seem to work for short periods then she would flare up again.

Hope something works for you - i know how awful it is x

nikki_j · Nov 16th, 2009, 18:15 PM

Hiya, my heart goes out to the pair of you, I know what that is like... touch wood Aiden hasn't been like that for a few nights now so I'm hoping he is starting to settle down out of it...

Have you tried taking her out in the car? That settles Aiden sometimes... although I know there have been times when literally nothing works, and you HAVE to leave the room before you lose your own sanity - don't feel bad! I know its so awful listening to them cry but the more you stress out, the more they will pick up on it and make them stress even more, so you need to try and stay calm

- and I know that is MUCH easier said than done lol.

But honestly don't feel bad, I have had to put Aiden down, leave the room calmly and then run into my room, slam the door, scream, count to ten, breath, and then walk back in and try again, lol!!

Hope she settles down and you get some sleep. I have heard hairdryers seem to settle a baby... don't know how true that one is though lol!

Hugs xxx

goddess25 · Nov 16th, 2009, 19:59 PM

My heart goes out to all of you. Its tough. I think you did the right thing, you have to leave the room sometimes just to collect your thoughts and have a 5 minute break, it can do the world of good and make it a bit easier to cope with when you go back to her. Your doing a great job, you are not being a terrible mother, your awesome.

lyre · Nov 16th, 2009, 23:50 PM

i know how you feel, my lo was like that yesterday. it does make you feel like a terrible mother, but you have to remember that you're not, babies cry and some get colic.

it can be incredibly stressful. i spent 30 mins crying to my oh last night, which made me feel better, then he looked after him for a few hours while i got some sleep which has done me the world of good.

is there anyone who can help you so you have some time to yourself to unwind?

mum2bee · Nov 17th, 2009, 03:20 AM

aww dont feel bad - it calms you down to leave the room for ten minutes

are you bottle feding? bcoz dr brown bottles really help

nkbapbt · Nov 17th, 2009, 03:31 AM

I don't think for a second you are bad momma! Taking a step back is a good thing, never beat yourself up over it. We are human and sometimes we need to selfish and think of our own sanity for a few minutes. A couple minutes of crying will not hurt your LO.

Have you tried swaddling?

Also is there any chance she is still sick with a cold? Maybe she is stuffed up and cannot breath quiet fully yet, try raising up the head of her bed with a phone book or something about 5-6 inches thick, not to much she slides.

Also a cold mist humidifier could help.

Try taking her for a walk if its nice outside...

Scally · Nov 17th, 2009, 03:31 AM

u r not a terrible mother, i've had to put my LO down and leave the room a couple of times now, something i never thought i'd do!!!!
Our LO had bad colic in the beginning and we use colief and dr brown bottles which have sorted it out. Keep your chin up, u r a very good mum

special_kala · Nov 17th, 2009, 05:37 AM

Your not a terrible mother at all. A few days ago i had to just put my LO in her moses basket and leave her for 5 minutes as i was getting soo frustrated.

Its the best thing to do, letting them cry for a few minutes while you compose youself isnt going to hurt them.

I hope she settles soon hun x

sparkle_1979 · Nov 17th, 2009, 06:49 AM

oh hun I know exactly how you feel, my 5 week old has colic and most afternoon/evenings she will scream for hrs and hrs and it can be so hard to deal with when there is nothing you can do to comfort them. I have been surviving on so little sleep which as you know makes it seem ten times worse.
By taking a few mins away you are not being a bad mum, she will know if u r stresses, so you are doing you both good having a quick time out.
Im sure it wont last that long, but know you are not alone and in no way a bad mother.
x

Nov 16th, 2009, 18:02 PM	#1
danni1979 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Suffolk,England Posts: 790	I feel a terrible mother.. OMG Safi has been crying since 6 and i have just had to leave the room i feel like i am such a bad mother and abandoning her Shes been colicky since she got a cold at 3 weeks old,but just lately its sooooo bad,i have tried EVERYTHING i can think of to calm her,my gut is wrenching hearing her sob her heart out and i just cant do ANYTHING to ease her Any help guys i feel so awful for my lil girl..but this is soooo hard to deal with D xx xx

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 18:07 PM	#2
history_girls Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: East Sussex Posts: 887	Your not alone with that tonigh! Mine Lo not quite so bad but has just dropped off after a two and a half hour hysterical scream. Things i tried: Walking bum patting singing boiling the kettle (she normally likes that) sitting next to dishwasher rocking etc... Even tried the OH! Nothing was working. I had to put her down in her crib and have a good cry myself half an hour ago. Finally got her to calm down when i put her in the carrier and did some house work. She is now aseep attached to me and I dare not put her down! Is there someone else who can try to calm her? The things above did seem to work for short periods then she would flare up again. Hope something works for you - i know how awful it is x

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 18:15 PM	#3
nikki_j Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Medway, Kent, UK Posts: 106	Hiya, my heart goes out to the pair of you, I know what that is like... touch wood Aiden hasn't been like that for a few nights now so I'm hoping he is starting to settle down out of it... Have you tried taking her out in the car? That settles Aiden sometimes... although I know there have been times when literally nothing works, and you HAVE to leave the room before you lose your own sanity - don't feel bad! I know its so awful listening to them cry but the more you stress out, the more they will pick up on it and make them stress even more, so you need to try and stay calm - and I know that is MUCH easier said than done lol. But honestly don't feel bad, I have had to put Aiden down, leave the room calmly and then run into my room, slam the door, scream, count to ten, breath, and then walk back in and try again, lol!! Hope she settles down and you get some sleep. I have heard hairdryers seem to settle a baby... don't know how true that one is though lol! Hugs xxx

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 19:59 PM	#4
goddess25 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: vancouver Posts: 5,590	My heart goes out to all of you. Its tough. I think you did the right thing, you have to leave the room sometimes just to collect your thoughts and have a 5 minute break, it can do the world of good and make it a bit easier to cope with when you go back to her. Your doing a great job, you are not being a terrible mother, your awesome.

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 23:50 PM	#5
lyre Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 735	i know how you feel, my lo was like that yesterday. it does make you feel like a terrible mother, but you have to remember that you're not, babies cry and some get colic. it can be incredibly stressful. i spent 30 mins crying to my oh last night, which made me feel better, then he looked after him for a few hours while i got some sleep which has done me the world of good. is there anyone who can help you so you have some time to yourself to unwind?

Status: Offline

Nov 17th, 2009, 03:20 AM	#6
mum2bee Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Manchester - UK Posts: 288	aww dont feel bad - it calms you down to leave the room for ten minutes are you bottle feding? bcoz dr brown bottles really help

Status: Offline

Nov 17th, 2009, 03:31 AM	#7
nkbapbt Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: North Vancouver, B.C. Posts: 3,771	I don't think for a second you are bad momma! Taking a step back is a good thing, never beat yourself up over it. We are human and sometimes we need to selfish and think of our own sanity for a few minutes. A couple minutes of crying will not hurt your LO. Have you tried swaddling? Also is there any chance she is still sick with a cold? Maybe she is stuffed up and cannot breath quiet fully yet, try raising up the head of her bed with a phone book or something about 5-6 inches thick, not to much she slides. Also a cold mist humidifier could help. Try taking her for a walk if its nice outside...

Status: Offline

Nov 17th, 2009, 03:31 AM	#8
Scally Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 4,089	u r not a terrible mother, i've had to put my LO down and leave the room a couple of times now, something i never thought i'd do!!!! Our LO had bad colic in the beginning and we use colief and dr brown bottles which have sorted it out. Keep your chin up, u r a very good mum

Status: Offline

Nov 17th, 2009, 05:37 AM	#9
special_kala Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: West sussex, england Posts: 16,441	Your not a terrible mother at all. A few days ago i had to just put my LO in her moses basket and leave her for 5 minutes as i was getting soo frustrated. Its the best thing to do, letting them cry for a few minutes while you compose youself isnt going to hurt them. I hope she settles soon hun x

Status: Offline

Nov 17th, 2009, 06:49 AM	#10
sparkle_1979 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 4,211	oh hun I know exactly how you feel, my 5 week old has colic and most afternoon/evenings she will scream for hrs and hrs and it can be so hard to deal with when there is nothing you can do to comfort them. I have been surviving on so little sleep which as you know makes it seem ten times worse. By taking a few mins away you are not being a bad mum, she will know if u r stresses, so you are doing you both good having a quick time out. Im sure it wont last that long, but know you are not alone and in no way a bad mother. x

Status: Offline

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