What should a Grandparent be ?

Komatsu · Nov 16th, 2009, 11:50 AM

My husband has been having some issues communicating with his mother and they have recently started going to a counselor to sort things out . She has been very difficult to talk to without crying or blowing up . The counselor assigned him some homework , to define what he feels grandparent is ?

So in your view , what should a grandparent be ? What traits should they carry and what sort of role will they play in your child's life ?

whiby · Nov 16th, 2009, 11:54 AM

I feel they should be caring and supportive of you as their children, as parents in your own right and of their grandchild. They should offer love and should want to be involved in all of your lives, but not take over.

Mum2b_Claire · Nov 16th, 2009, 12:31 PM

Yeah, they should be caring and supportive, but not interfering. But a grandparent who looks after their grandchild a lot will have a different role to one who only sees them occasionally, if the grandparent looks after the child a lot they will be more involved in. say, discipline, whereas this wouldn't usually be the case IMO. If that makes sense!

jojo2605 · Nov 16th, 2009, 12:34 PM

Yes I agree, they should be supportive and caring, the key here is definitely the point that they should be taking a back seat and trusting you as parents in your own right and not push themselves on you - be there if you need them but learn to take a step back if not.

aimee-lou · Nov 16th, 2009, 13:04 PM

I think the role of a grandparent is to support the parents and grandchild in a silent way. This means to be there should they be needed, but not interfering. My Mum and I have a few issues of our own so I can understand where you're coming from.

codegirl · Nov 16th, 2009, 14:10 PM

My gf put it like this `they should help the mother mother`. I like that so much but I would change it to Help the parent parent.

In other words, their role is not to be the parent but to help the parent be successful. My Mom does this so well, helps me get sleep (comes over so I can nap), helps with meals, helps clean and if I ask, has a gentle opinion that she understand I might not follow.

Kitten · Nov 16th, 2009, 14:16 PM

As far away as possible, teehee.

Abz1982 · Nov 16th, 2009, 17:31 PM

I feel they should be there to support you in your decisions and how you raise your child. They can offer advice, but MUST respect that you may not want to take it. They usually have a wealth of knowledge as they have been there before (obviously).

So they should be like your roadies. lol

Nov 16th, 2009, 11:50 AM	#1
Komatsu Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: British Columbia , Canada Posts: 306	What should a Grandparent be ? My husband has been having some issues communicating with his mother and they have recently started going to a counselor to sort things out . She has been very difficult to talk to without crying or blowing up . The counselor assigned him some homework , to define what he feels grandparent is ? So in your view , what should a grandparent be ? What traits should they carry and what sort of role will they play in your child's life ?

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 11:54 AM	#2
whiby Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Wales Posts: 1,220	I feel they should be caring and supportive of you as their children, as parents in your own right and of their grandchild. They should offer love and should want to be involved in all of your lives, but not take over.

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 12:31 PM	#3
Mum2b_Claire Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Kent Posts: 13,901	Yeah, they should be caring and supportive, but not interfering. But a grandparent who looks after their grandchild a lot will have a different role to one who only sees them occasionally, if the grandparent looks after the child a lot they will be more involved in. say, discipline, whereas this wouldn't usually be the case IMO. If that makes sense!

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 12:34 PM	#4
jojo2605 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Brummyland Posts: 2,577	Yes I agree, they should be supportive and caring, the key here is definitely the point that they should be taking a back seat and trusting you as parents in your own right and not push themselves on you - be there if you need them but learn to take a step back if not.

Status: Online

Nov 16th, 2009, 13:04 PM	#5
aimee-lou Other BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Norfolk - UK Posts: 6,158	I think the role of a grandparent is to support the parents and grandchild in a silent way. This means to be there should they be needed, but not interfering. My Mum and I have a few issues of our own so I can understand where you're coming from.

Status: Online

Nov 16th, 2009, 14:10 PM	#6
codegirl Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,418	My gf put it like this `they should help the mother mother`. I like that so much but I would change it to Help the parent parent. In other words, their role is not to be the parent but to help the parent be successful. My Mom does this so well, helps me get sleep (comes over so I can nap), helps with meals, helps clean and if I ask, has a gentle opinion that she understand I might not follow.

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 14:16 PM	#7
Kitten Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Crawley, England Posts: 6,343	As far away as possible, teehee.

Status: Offline

Nov 16th, 2009, 17:31 PM	#8
Abz1982 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Aberdeen Posts: 3,945	I feel they should be there to support you in your decisions and how you raise your child. They can offer advice, but MUST respect that you may not want to take it. They usually have a wealth of knowledge as they have been there before (obviously). So they should be like your roadies. lol

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
What to call Grandparents?	Pregnancy - Second Trimester
Should I let my grandparents be part of my baby's life?	Pregnancy - Third Trimester
What should the heartbeat be at 5 weeks and 4 days?	Pregnancy - First Trimester
What should your CM&CP be like in the 2ww if you are PG?	Trying To Conceive
What should the heartbeat be with a doppler?	Pregnancy Club

User Name		Remember Me?
Password