This is going to be long so I'll apologize in advance. lol
My mother in law is weird. Plain and simple. She always has been. Examples, which I've always posted about. She bought Rocco a toy and brought it over and played with him with it, then when they left, she took it with her?? Why would you buy something FOR a child, bring it to THEIR house, and then leave with it? We were visiting their house last weekend and my FIL, who is somewhat normal, went and got a stuffed duck that they had for some reason that when you squeeze, it quacks. He was letting Rocco play with it and he was chewing on its feet and stuff. Then when we were getting ready to leave, she took it from him and said "the next time you come, you can have this to play with!" Ok, so it's THEIR stuffed duck, but would have been such a big deal if it had gone home with him?? What the hell are they going to do with it? It's not that I wanted to take it home, it's just that she went out of her way across her house to walk over to his car seat as we were walking out the door to get the duck. SO WEIRD!!
And she has made several comments that REALLY bother me like when she was watching Rocco for us, she said she would "just shove a bottle in his mouth" if she didn't know why he was fussing. First off, he's NOT a really fussy baby. If you play with him and keep him content, he doesn't fuss. Second off, "shoving a bottle in his mouth" is not the answer to everything! She is the most non-maternal person I've ever met. God forbid you would have to sit and PLAY with your grandson to keep him content and not fussy.
And here's a good one....My husband grew up in the house we live in. His parents moved a few towns away about 6 years ago and sold us the house. Problem is, they think they still own it. And it drives me NUTS. When they first moved out, they would come over without any warning and start pulling weeds in our landscaping. I would walk out of the house to go to work, and there they were. Or they would just walk in and go to the kitchen to wash their hands. They still have a key to the house. My husband lost his house key and the last time we were over, asked his Mom for the copy they had. That way they didn't have it anymore, plus it was a good key (mine is worn down and we can't make copies off it) So she goes to get them out of the kitchen. Not only does she has a front door key, she has a back door key, a basement door key, and BOTH garage keys!! WTF???!!! They just KEPT them after they moved out. It wasn't like we went on vacation and gave them a key to check on the dog or something. they KEPT them!! Who the HELL do you think you are?!?!?! Would you have kept a set of keys if you had sold the house to a stranger!??!?! I don't think SO!
So now we have this issue...our Thanksgiving is coming up on the 28th. Every year we go to my parents' house and then his parents' house later, because my parents do more of a lunch meal, and his more of a dinner. His Mom has not always cooked Thanksgiving dinner. She has only started doing this for the past 4 years or so. Well, she emails me and my SIL (her daughter) today and says "I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner, but I need someone to make green bean casserole and a dessert" So I replied and said I would make dessert because I could make it the day before. Green been casserole I would have to bake and that's not possible because we're going to be at my parents' house, and then going right over there. Then I talked to my SIL and she said "oh crap I've never made green bean casserole!" I said, well maybe your Mom would consider doing Thanksgiving dinner the day after Thanksgiving since everyone has off work anyway. That way I could make the green bean casserole. So I called my husband and he said to call his Mom and suggest it to her. I KNEW I shouldn't have done that. I asked him to call, but he's at work and said "no, you just call" So I did. UGH. I said "what would you think about doing Thanksgiving dinner the day after, or Saturday or something?" She paused for like 10 seconds. "Well, I don't know. I'll have to think about it" I said "Because Jess has never made green bean casserole, and I can't make it since we're going to be at my parents' house before we come over there." And this is what she said "Well, why don't you NOT go to your parents' house?" I said "well that wouldn't be very fair to MY parents" She was like "well, no, I guess not" What I wanted to say was "FUCK YOU WOMAN! Who the HELL do you think you are telling me not to go to my parents' house?? How about we don't go to YOUR house, would you like that???"
And the thing that makes me really mad about it is that she acts like they have ALLLLLLLLLL these plans and that having Thanksgiving on a different day would be totally inconvenient somehow. They're both retired. And it's a holiday weekend so the things they do, will be canceled because it's a holiday! Like her quilting class, and exercise classes and stuff. I know ultimately it's up to her because she's cooking and it's her house, but seriously.
Honestly, I just don't like being around her. She's not a bitch or a bad person, she's just SO weird. She shows up at my house unannounced which is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I'm a pretty private person and Rocco and I have a routine and I don't like it interrupted unless I'm prepared for it. Not to mention it's just RUDE. Oh, and because I was trying to be polite, I accepted her friend request on Facebook, now I'll talk about friends of mine and she'll be like "oh you mean Emma?" Uh yeah, how do you know her name? "Oh, I saw her on your Facebook page" She SNOOPS at stuff! She's got to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. That's why I didn't want her to be my FB friend to begin with!! OMG she drives me NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for letting me vent. She seriously drives me crazy...

Not lauging at your situation, but I imagine you, stomping round the kitchen ranting all this off, barely taking breath

Now, breathe deeply. Aaaaand relax.

Simple solution, tell her to fuck off.

Way intruding into the Baby Club forum, but what about giving your SIL an easy green bean casserole recipe, and tell her if she's really stuck figuring it out she could call you for tips?

As for the keys and just showing up and coming inside YOUR house, that to me is way overstepping boundaries... If it's not possible to tell them -and have them listen- that it's making you uncomfortable, then maybe get the locks changed? You don't have to mention it to them either, and if they ask when their keys don't work next time you can just say you lost your keys somewhere you frequent and would just feel safer with different locks?

In regards to Facebook, I'd just go nuts on the privacy settings. Settings -> Privacy Settings -> Profile and then 'Edit Custom Settings' under each one. You can block her from seeing as much as you like.

Good luck hun, my MIL is a bit strange too....

Yeah my SIL has since said she would make the casserole since she wanted to learn how to make it anyway.
I've just been so fed up with her for so long. They came to visit one time during the summer and walked in and adjusted my AC cause she was hot!!! Don't touch my AC!! It's not your house anymore!!!!!
My husband said he was going to call his sister on the way home from work and I'm sure this subject will come up so I'm anxious to see if he'll tell me what they talked about.

Well my husband got home from work tonight and said he had talked to his sister on the way home and she said "Mom seemed upset about Thanksgiving" Not to sound harsh, but there's nothing to be upset about!! I simply ASKED her if she would mind having it on another day?? All she had to do was say NO. I didn't tell her we weren't coming or something. If someone asked me to move Thanksgiving to another day and I didn't want to, I would say um, no. I wouldn't be upset about it. Anyway, so I told my husband to call his Mom and see what's going on with Thanksgiving because at this point, because I was the one that called, I look like the big mean daughter in law. I told him I would appreciate if he called and said WE were hoping to move it to another day, since when I called him and told him I was calling her, he didn't object and told ME to call. He agrees with me, but since I was the one that called, I'm the one she's "upset" with. So he called and asked what was going on and he explained that it's really a lot for us AND Rocco to drive one direction 20 minutes to my parents', eat, stay for like an hour, and then drive another 40 minutes in another direction to their house, only to eat again when we're not really hungry to begin with, then be so tired we just fall asleep. She said she had "thought about it" and that she thought Saturday would be good to do dinner, that way we had a day in between for our "digestive systems to recooperate"
But now I'm worried my sister in law is mad at me for "upsetting" her mom. ugh In laws!!!

maybe she wants him to have something to play with when he comes over so he can look forward to going there knowing he has toys there?
did u talk to your husband about how you feel? maybe he can politely explain to her to call before she comes.
shes overstepping the boundaries and making you uncomforable by doing things in your house, it may be because she feels at home there because she lived there before and because its her sons house but she should respect that you live there now.
you should get your husband to talk to both of them and try not to make it seem like its you who is bothered by her ways but both of you so she doesnt feel like its your fault and get upset with you.
maybe she doesnt realise how she affecting you with her actions.
hope it all turns out ok.