Our little Monty is three and a half weeks old. He is our first baby and to be honest we are struggling. We don't know whether anything is wrong or right anymore, and it seems that most of what we attempt turns out to be the wrong choice for us and Monty.

For the first week, Monty was a very contented baby, mainly sleeping and eating, and hardly ever crying. Then we hit the second week, and a lot seemed to change. We were feeling rather desperate, but then reading the books we realised that Monty seemed to have colic - we were ticking every symptom of colic in the book (apart from he had it a week younger than it usually starts), so although we wished he didn't have colic, we at least knew what we were dealing with. We started Infacol and we also took Monty for some cranial osteopathy.

Now, at three and a half weeks, we feel perhaps it's not "just colic" or "just wind", as people insist on telling us. There is no "just" about it - you try consoling a baby in awful pain because of the wind and then tell us it's "just" wind.

Last night I almost phoned the doctor as I felt something just wasn't right. From 8pm until 2am, Monty fed on ten sides. Sometimes with us, two sides is one feed; other times, just one side is a feed ... so ten sides is a ridiculous amount of feeding. Each time we tried to lie him down to rest, he just screamed, and I really do mean scream rather than cry. In the end, after a long, long night, he fell asleep on my OH's chest, the absolute only place he was prepared to even attempt closing his eyes. At 4am, he woke again to feed (he usually feeds every 4hours in the night, so this was really quick), my OH moved into the spare room to get some sleep, and I managed eventually to get Monty to lie in his snuggle nest in our bed.

He woke this morning at 8am, which is quite normal, so I felt rather relieved. However, it is now midday and I have only just half an hour ago finally managed to leave our bedroom without Monty screaming. He has fed three times in less than four hours this morning, I've changed and washed him twice, and again he would only fall alseep on a chest (mine this time, as OH is working). He was absolutely exhausted, poor little mite, but he just wouldn't let himself fall asleep. Now, just after midday, he has finally closed his eyes and I have managed to get him down in his crib.

I was in tears last night, as I have been now on several similar occasions. My OH shouted at me, which made things worse. Neither of us really knew what to do. No, we didn't have a CLUE what to do. And all the time we're comforting our little son, at the same time we're wondering whether we're almost "giving in" to his requests for excessive comfort and wondering whether perhaps we should just put him in his bed and let him cry a little and see what happens.

However, the biggest problem is that when Monty is awake, he just detests lying on his back. So we even so much as put him in his crib or hammock while he's still awake and he will scream and scream. Lie him on his tummy and he won't cry.

In addition to all of this, I am beginning to feel that Monty is no longer a contented baby at all. As he gets older, he is sleeping a little less each day, which is what we expected. However, we also expected him to want to spend more "quality time" with us, but instead it's like when he's awake he either is feeding or is crying/screaming. This makes me so sad, because I feel like I'm not enjoying my baby; rather, I'm simply attending to his needs and trying to work out why he's crying AGAIN.

So, we struggle to take Monty out in his pram (wish we hadn't bothered buying it - he's only been in it three times so far!) because of course he lies flat on his back in the pram. And we can't even lie him down on his blanket on the floor, because again he is on his back when we do that.

We try burping him, but he has hardly any upper gas. All his trapped wind is lower down, and boy is there a lot of it. We wriggle his legs and hips to help relieve this, but we never seem to get it all out. Then, when he's sleeping, he might suddenly awaken with a really sharp screech, and you can see him writhing in pain as the wind comes out.

Surely this isn't "just trapped wind"? I just feel like there's a whole load of stuff going on here that we need to sort out, but what on earth do we do?

Has anybody else had a similar situation and managed to deal with it? Should we seek medical advice or just carry on working out our own system?

Please, please, please give me your suggestions and let me know what worked well for you. We are feeling desperate here and we just want to help our beautiful little boy feel happy and healthy again.

Thank you so much xx

OK right there's a lot to have a look at there but I will try and help, I'm no expert but I can tell you what worked for us.
The constant feeding issue:- a lot of babies will suck just for comfort and if you are breastfeeding then that means they will want to be attached for most of the day, 2 approaches here, get a baby carrier or sling and let baby comfort suck as much as they want (at least that way your hands are free to do something else) or see if they will take a dummy (you might need to experiment with a few different types and you can always wean them off it at about 3-4 months when the comfort sucking need dies down.
Lying on back:- ost newborns hate lying flat on their backs - the valve at the top of their stomach is under developed and allows the stomach contents and acid to tracvel back up which leads to lots of discomfort for them - in more serious cases this is known as reflux and your doc can give you meds for the baby to take. Carrying in a baby carrier will help keep LO upright, do you have a boucy chair or rocker you can use just to keep them propped up. In the pram or moses basket put a rolled up blanket under one end of the matress to raise LO's head that way.
Deep trapped wind:- my LO suffered quite badly with this, baby massage really helped, deep warm baths also get you breastfeeding latch checked to make sure he is not getting too much air in this wasy
Generally at this age they are just beginning to realise that they are not attached to you anymore and it makes them really unsettled, its impossible to spoil a baby this young so give them all the cuddles they need.
Sorry its a bit long but I hope that helps.

oh hunny firstly huge hugs! noone likes to see a baby in pain especially not mummy and daddy!! my friends lo sounds exactly like your lo. At one point she was ready to call an ambulance! And he would only settle on someones chest too. She tried everything and found the electric swing she bought settled him a little. Colic doesnt last forever keep telling yourself that!! Speak to your health visitor and express your concerns and keep an eye on yourself too sweetie PND is common in these situations!
All the best hunny xx

Great info there hun xx

Hi,

Firstly

I'm not sure if I can give you mauch advice, but I have a similar thing at a similar age, although it wasn't colic. For 3 days straight Isaac would sleep (20mins) feed and scream. Sometimes I would feed him again and he would take it, other times he would just scream. The only time that he would sleep for longer than 20 mins is in his pram or if we were out, and at the time I couldn't drive (C-Section) and walking was still fairly sore for long distances.

I would try and go for a walk at least twice a day - to give me some peace from the screaming, and I found that Baths helped loads - as it calmed him down.

Now I try to give him a bath most nights to calm him down before bed (I find if I don't give him one, he has a terrible time settling down, although he will do eventually). I never tried infacol, as it wasn't colic, but when he is uncomfortable with his wind I use gripewater - I notice your LO should be able to take that soon, prehaps it is worth a try?

What you have just described was my first weeks with Honor. It DOES get better! Luckily I was able to discover what was causing her colic and reflux quite early on.....a dairy and soya intolerance. Since cutting these from my diet I have a much happier baby. This was self-diagnosed though. The doctors wasn't taking me seriously as Honor was putting on weight. "SO WHAT!" I said, "I still have a very unhappy baby!" So I took the lead and changed my diet.

Not saying that this is what you should do but this is what I did and it worked for us.

xxxx

he sounds like my little man! He used to scream blue murder and wouldnt bring any wind up AT ALL but would fart alot but i had to help him by lifting his legs up. Dex had been dignoised with colic though, Have you tried colief? it works wonders!.. It does get better, he could also be going through a growth spurt and constantly hungry? Dex was like this too.. x

Hi! I feel for you, and know exactly how you feel! When Joe was just under 3 weeks he started like this, he WOULD NOT lie on his back, and cried and cried for hours. The health visitor told me to put him down and let him cry as he's "a high need baby", I knew otherwise. Eventually I took him to the docotrs after trying EVERY colic remedy out there and he was diagnosed with silent reflux. He's now on medication and is a totally different baby, laughing and smiling at everything (even his injections last week!). If you feel there is more to the crying, please go to the GP.....in the mean time, get as much sleep as you can, when you can, and remember it doesn't last forever (although I used to swear at people who told me this when I was going through it!) *hugs*

I have had no experience of this but I was talking to someone who said their LO was always crying and screaming and it turned out that they had heartburn. I think the docotors priscribed some medicine but they also said that they had to put some books under the mattress to raise the baby a little so they slept on an slight angel rather than flat on their back. Like I say, this is just what someone else has done but maybe heatburn is something to look into?

Big Hugs xx

When we first discussed the prolonged feeding with the HV and MW, they both suggested a growth spurt, so we thought yeah, that makes sense. However, surely babies don't only have growth spurts in the evening? And not every two or three days? That's what is making me think it isn't a growth spurt.

You know the hardest thing about all of this is when we mention any of it to the HV or MW or any other healthcare worker, they're just like "Oh, yeah, a growth spurt or a bit of colic or just a bit of trapped wind" or whatever, and that's because they never see Monty when he's full throttle at night. Now, in the daylight, it almost seems funny that I get so upset by it all, but I promise you in the middle of the night I just feel like the world is about to end, I get so desperate to do something to help Monty. He is sleeping so peacefully now that I can't believe I ever thought something was wrong. But then I remember that in a while, he will wake again and it will all begin again.

Plus, if I wasn't so fed up, I would have to laugh at the unfortunateness of it all - my pelvic floor is shot to pieces, I have back ache, and I have the piles from hell. Like I say, it's almost funny ... although I'm also scared that this is all going to head towards PND if I ain't careful.

TaylorsMummy, I may well try Colief. Did you try Infacol first? I think most people do that first, as it's a third of the price! Be interested to hear how you found the two compared with each other. By the way, hugs to you re your OH not helping with the nighttime feeds - I am BF, but my OH does at least get up to change Monty, which is a huge help. I hope your OH comes to his senses soon xx