Why do men do what's easiest for them, not what's best for baby?

Lu28 · Nov 7th, 2009, 10:32 AM

Sorry, I feel a rant coming on! Aisling has been a nightmare to get to nap these days and she started crying 30 minutes into her lunchtime nap. I asked DH to go up and sort her out and less than 5 minutes later he was downstairs with her saying she wasn't going to go back to sleep - he knew this after less than 5 minutes of trying?! He just didn't want to have to sit with her trying to get her back to sleep but of course it'll be me dealing with a grumpy baby for the rest of the day.

It's the same with solids etc, he'll always give her something easy to eat instead of toast etc because it doesn't take as long - never mind her developing skills etc

He's great most of the time but there are days....

Anyone else or am I on my own?!

celine · Nov 7th, 2009, 10:58 AM

Hear Hear! I had a massive prob with gabriel and his pram, he HATES being flat on his back so i would always end up carrying him and pushing the pram..and he got heavier and heavier and I recahed that point in the mall carrying my 6kg baby, some shopping and pushing my loverly pram and thought this is ridiculous! So we did put a little cushion in the pram and he would whine a little but i would say "No im not picking you up" or I would just pick him up and stop, then put him back again after a cuddle.
Of course I told all this to dh who should of been used to my pram rants, then 2 weeks ago he has a hissy at the market as baby is screaming so he goes home with baby and what does he do? Goes the whole way home CARRYING him??? I was so mad at him!
He then admitted I was actually right (i usually am!) cos 5m from the house the baby was getting heavy so he put Gabriel in the pram and viola he nodded off!

celine · Nov 7th, 2009, 10:58 AM

ooops double post!
and sorry for the essay - i feel very passionate about this!

There was also one stage where baby G had a cold and dh suggested perhaps we switch him to formula and doent get me started when baby was crying cos he was tired and dh says "shame you have cramps again"

I spend 24 hours a day with him compared to dh who has 30mins in the morning in the week - so i KNOW what im talking about!

Lizzie Lou · Nov 7th, 2009, 13:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celine

I spend 24 hours a day with him compared to dh who has 30mins in the morning in the week - so i KNOW what im talking about!

Ha ha that's exactly how I feel!

honey08 · Nov 7th, 2009, 13:10 PM

tell u wot i darent even start going on this post

but garys terrible !!!!!!!

AtomicPink · Nov 7th, 2009, 13:16 PM

I keep waiting for this, but OH has ALL the time in the world for Alex...

Time will tell....

CountingDown · Nov 7th, 2009, 13:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzie Lou

Quote:

Originally Posted by celine

I spend 24 hours a day with him compared to dh who has 30mins in the morning in the week - so i KNOW what im talking about!

Ha ha that's exactly how I feel!

Me too!

My o/h is normally pretty good but when it comes to food and sleep for Olivia it goes out the window.

According to him if she doesnt fall to sleep within 5 minutes she isnt tired and if she doesnt eat all the food we offer her straight away she isnt hungry

angelstardust · Nov 7th, 2009, 13:31 PM

Men don't forward plan, they live very much in the 'now' so the concept of lazy now = grumpy baby later just doesn't happen with them!

It gets better eventually, just be careful how you handle it so that don't make your OH not want to help as 'all you do is moan'. Take some time to explain how you do it and why rather than assuming that he knows.

Lucy_lu_84 · Nov 7th, 2009, 14:08 PM

i do bedtime 6 out of 7 nights, and leave saturday as the night for my OH to get LO to bed as he is off work! I don't rock LO to sleep anymore, I settle him put him down and go back to how ever many times he cries and stroke his face. Some nights this is once some nights ten times!

No end of times i go up on Saturday wondering what Oh is doing and he is rocking him to sleep. I try not to get mad but I can't help it sometimes. I tell him my hard work all week is jsut being undone with the night he does that! Grr but he hates going up and down!

But I am with him every bedtime so I know what works!

hear you girl

Happy · Nov 7th, 2009, 14:20 PM

I with you girls. OH has so much time for Phoebe but when it comes to getting her to sleep during the day he has no idea! If she isn't asleep within 10 minutes he gets in a mood and wants to know what is wrong with her!!

Nov 7th, 2009, 10:32 AM	#1
Lu28 Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 12,646	Why do men do what's easiest for them, not what's best for baby? Sorry, I feel a rant coming on! Aisling has been a nightmare to get to nap these days and she started crying 30 minutes into her lunchtime nap. I asked DH to go up and sort her out and less than 5 minutes later he was downstairs with her saying she wasn't going to go back to sleep - he knew this after less than 5 minutes of trying?! He just didn't want to have to sit with her trying to get her back to sleep but of course it'll be me dealing with a grumpy baby for the rest of the day. It's the same with solids etc, he'll always give her something easy to eat instead of toast etc because it doesn't take as long - never mind her developing skills etc He's great most of the time but there are days.... Anyone else or am I on my own?!
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Nov 7th, 2009, 10:58 AM	#2
celine Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Netherlands Posts: 11,978	Hear Hear! I had a massive prob with gabriel and his pram, he HATES being flat on his back so i would always end up carrying him and pushing the pram..and he got heavier and heavier and I recahed that point in the mall carrying my 6kg baby, some shopping and pushing my loverly pram and thought this is ridiculous! So we did put a little cushion in the pram and he would whine a little but i would say "No im not picking you up" or I would just pick him up and stop, then put him back again after a cuddle. Of course I told all this to dh who should of been used to my pram rants, then 2 weeks ago he has a hissy at the market as baby is screaming so he goes home with baby and what does he do? Goes the whole way home CARRYING him??? I was so mad at him! He then admitted I was actually right (i usually am!) cos 5m from the house the baby was getting heavy so he put Gabriel in the pram and viola he nodded off!

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Nov 7th, 2009, 10:58 AM	#3
celine Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Netherlands Posts: 11,978	ooops double post! and sorry for the essay - i feel very passionate about this! There was also one stage where baby G had a cold and dh suggested perhaps we switch him to formula and doent get me started when baby was crying cos he was tired and dh says "shame you have cramps again" I spend 24 hours a day with him compared to dh who has 30mins in the morning in the week - so i KNOW what im talking about!

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Nov 7th, 2009, 13:10 PM	#5
honey08 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: north yorkshire,uk Posts: 28,682	tell u wot i darent even start going on this post but garys terrible !!!!!!!

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Nov 7th, 2009, 13:16 PM	#6
AtomicPink Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 19,124	I keep waiting for this, but OH has ALL the time in the world for Alex... Time will tell....

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Nov 7th, 2009, 13:31 PM	#8
angelstardust Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ayrshire, Scotland Posts: 2,318	Men don't forward plan, they live very much in the 'now' so the concept of lazy now = grumpy baby later just doesn't happen with them! It gets better eventually, just be careful how you handle it so that don't make your OH not want to help as 'all you do is moan'. Take some time to explain how you do it and why rather than assuming that he knows.

Status: Offline

Nov 7th, 2009, 14:08 PM	#9
Lucy_lu_84 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Rugby Posts: 3,622	i do bedtime 6 out of 7 nights, and leave saturday as the night for my OH to get LO to bed as he is off work! I don't rock LO to sleep anymore, I settle him put him down and go back to how ever many times he cries and stroke his face. Some nights this is once some nights ten times! No end of times i go up on Saturday wondering what Oh is doing and he is rocking him to sleep. I try not to get mad but I can't help it sometimes. I tell him my hard work all week is jsut being undone with the night he does that! Grr but he hates going up and down! But I am with him every bedtime so I know what works! hear you girl

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Nov 7th, 2009, 14:20 PM	#10
Happy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hampshire, England Posts: 1,887	I with you girls. OH has so much time for Phoebe but when it comes to getting her to sleep during the day he has no idea! If she isn't asleep within 10 minutes he gets in a mood and wants to know what is wrong with her!!

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