I'm not sure if this is in the right area but here goes; I've been visiting this site throughout my pregnancy and here and there I would read threads about being cheated on by your otherhalfs and I would feel so bad for everyone. I guess I was real naive in thinking it would never happen to me and he would never stray; but the time has come and it has hit me like a dump truck. This may be lengthy so beware.

My husband has know this girl for a few years (he rented a house to her parents) so he got to know her very well over the years. She is about a year older than me. RJ was born in july and they started texting in early august. I never caught wind of it; I knew they texted occasionally but never thought anything of it. My husband was cheated on in his last marriage and he always stressed to me how he would never cheat and how I better not ever so the thought of him never crossed my mind. Fast forward to Sept when I have to go back to work. His mom watches RJ 90% of the time, and this other girl was starting to watch him (I trusted her).

A couple weeks ago when I was dropping RJ off with her; I happened to notice she had 2 text messages from my husband on the phone.. I thought it was odd but shrugged it off and went to work. While at work it started bugging me so I checked our cell phone bill and to my shock there was over 3000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! text messages to her in that month alone and then I dug some more and found it was the same for august sept and oct. I was completly freaked out and upset/sick to my stomach. I left work early and went for the baby and came home and made him leave work. I cried and asked him what was going on and he assured me all they talk about is the baby. Even though my gut was saying different I tried to let it go and move on.

Well tomorrow will be a week that I found out he had a different email address and was emailing her things. Basically saying that he loves he and that he would see her when I leave for work among other things. I feel so mortified. I again left work and went for the baby; I pretty much packed everything up and was ready to leave. He has admitted to most of it but he claims that there was no sexual things going on even though the email points that there was (and ive tried for a week to try to get it out of him)

We have talked to our pastor and I want to try to work things out for RJ's sake but I can't stop thinking about it. It is literally driving me insane... How do you move on, how do you trust again? I am having a very very hard time coping. I am depressed and feel like he ruined my life and that he was never there for me and the baby. I also feel like it would still have been going on if I wouldn't have found those emails. I don't know, I know i'm rambling but how do you trust again.. I feel like I can't and were doomed for divorce..

I am so sorry to hear you are going through so much

*hugs*

Sorry that you are going through this.

IMO even if he IS telling the truth and it's only the messages and nothing sexual has happened i still see it as cheating. The intent was there.

I am not sure I could trust again tbh. I know people learn to but i think it is would be so hard.

Perhaps go stay with your parents or someone for a few days, give you a chance to get you head around everything that is going on!

*Hugs*

Didn't want to read and run.
Just wanted to send hugs
I think you need to take some time away to get perspective on everything, because when you're in the thick of it it can be difficult emotionally.
Do you believe him about not having any physical contact?
Could it be simply texts/emails? I'm not suggesting that makes it ok, not at all, because he should be focussing all his attention and looking to you for his emotional needs, but it somehow seems easier to forgive this.
I'm not talking from experience, I can't imagine how difficult this is for you, but focus on your son and if you want a future with your husband.

I agree with the others, you need time away. It's better for RJ that you're happy rather than having two parents who are 'trying'. I know someone who is going through something similar and she feels so much better now they've split up but different things work for different people. *hugs*

So sorry that this is happening hun. My feeling on it is that even if it wasn't physical, the fact that you saw emails saying there were feelings involved, makes it much worse (Imo)

I don't want to be really negative about your husband as you know him best, but I think its awful that he betrayed you at such a vulnerable time in your life

I hope you can work things out for the best, whatever that may be x

I'm so sorry that your OH has behaved so terribly. It sounds like he is still lying to you (with regards to sexual contact) and until he has the guts to be totally honest about what has happened I think any attempts to fix your relationship may just end in further heartbreak for you. I entirely understand your desire to maintain the relationship for your LO's sake but that should not be at the expense of your life's happiness. A child with 2 happy parents who live apart is better off than a child with angry/depressed parents living together imo. I think it would be a good idea to not rush any decision, either way. Take the time you need to get your head around this and to work out what you do and don't want in the future. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to see a counsellor who you can talk openly with. Then if and when you are ready you could think about couples counselling.

Sending you lots of love and hugs,
Lx

I'm not gonna try and offer any advice because I haven't been in that situation.
Has he given you a reason why he's been seeing her?

I think some time apart may do you good, especially for your LO's sake but I think you need to know the reason why he done it in the first place and then maybe you can decide whether it's something you can sort out or not. I wouldn't even think about trust again just yet as there's usually deeper reasons for straying and I'd wanna know what those are first.

Hope things work out for the best x

I agree with everyone else try to take some time away to get some perspective. Its a very hard situation to be in and I dont think i could trust him to be honest, but i dont know him and he is not my childs dad. I hope you get everything worked out either way.

Best wishes

aw that must have been awful, i've been cheated on before and trust isnt something you can make yourself do, its how the person makes you feel.

your better off without him in the long run no matter how much it hurts right now