Welcome to our weekly Ask a Mum thread

If you are unfamiliar with these threads, the concept is that each week a member is nominated to speak about an issue that relates to them. People may ask them as many questions as they wish, and they will do their best to answer them. The idea is that we all learn about one another, and discuss issues and lifestyles that affect one another.

This week's member is Marg_27.

Marg unfortunately lost twins last year due to rare circumstances, 1 MC in her womb, the other as an ectopic, which led to tube removal. A year on she is now the proud mummy of a little boy after conceiving 3months after.

She is happy to answer any questions you might like to ask, even personal ones.



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Previous Ask A Mum Threads:
Post Natal Depression
7 Kids 10 and Under
Survived domestic violence
Assisted Conception
Teen Mums in UK & US
Cloth Nappies/Diapers
Baby Signing
Baby Led Weaning BLW
Hypno Birthing
Working Mum
Fell Pregnant 5 wks in to relationship
Living with a disibility
Baby Wearing
Ask a DAD!
Dual Military Family
Partner in Afghanistan for birth
Baby born at 24 weeks
Back to back pregnancies

hello :waves:

firstly congrats on your little boy xx

secondly.. was you scared that your body wouldnt cope after major surgery.. and did the docs advise you it was dangerous?

i ask as my first pregnancy ended in m/c, but was a suspected eptopic, they didnt do the keyhole surgery went straight ahead with the laparotomy..
i didnt lose a tube as they saw pregnancy was in the womb but miscarried a few hours later..

i fell pregnant 8 weeks later and was advised that my body might not take the strain... and then wen tht ended in m/c was advised that might be why..

something that was later thrown out as i had a further 2 m/cs and do have a hormone and blood problem xx



did you get bad reactions from family with it being so soon?

Hey
Thankyou for the congrats
And Im sorry to hear you have been through such a tough time x

Ok, before I answer your questions Id like to explain exactly what happened.

Last summer, we decided that we'd like to add to our family, so I came off the pill. At the end of my 1st cycle ttc, I suffered with appendicitus, and had to hav an appendectomy.
As soon as we could after the op, we started ttc again, and 2 cycles after my op we got a
However, at 7 weeks, I started to bleed, and unfortunately, I miscarried. We were devasted to say the least.
4 weeks later I experienced extreme pain all down my right side, and a large amount of bleeding.
It turned out, I had been carrying twins, one had miscarried in my womb 4 weeks earlier, and one had developed in my tube (ectopic pregnancy) and as it had been in there for over 11 weeks, my tube ruptured, leading to emergancy surgery to remove my right tube.
Deciding this was too much to cope with, we put off ttc and I went back on the pill, and shockingly, after very minimal I fell pregnant 3months later.
And after an albeit troublesome, yet succesful pregnancy, Im now the super proud mummy to a gorgeous little boy named Jack
We now have 1 of each flavour, and feel our family is complete!!

1.was you scared that your body wouldnt cope after major surgery
To be completely honest, I was absolutely terrified!!

2.did the docs advise you it was dangerous?
We were advised not to 'try' again for a minimum of 3months, both myself and my partner had decided that we had been through so much that we would leave 'trying' to until at least 4+months later, so I went back on the pill. So I was totally shocked when I discovered the day before New years eve that I was pregnant.

3.did you get bad reactions from family with it being so soon?
We recieved nothing but support from all my family and friends.

hi marg,

i didnt realise you had had all the problems b4 you got little jack. despite him being a monkey towards end of pregnancy, him arriving safe makes it all ok.

i've never had an eptopic pregnancy but i have had 4 MC, so i know how upsetting that is, and as you put it does scare you trying again. i fell pregnant with my middle son 1month after MC and i was soooo worried something would go wrong again - to the extent the worrying made my BP go sky high and i ended up on weekly appointments from a very early date.

Hi Marg...... like Amy i had no idea that you had to go through such an ordeal before you fell pregnant with Jack.

In light of what you went through, physically and emotionally, and then conceiving so soon after your op, what advise would you give to those who are trying to conceive again after miscarriage, and how did you keep your sanity during those first 12 weeks until Jack was in the 'safe zone'.

x

Ahhh Marg, I too was oblivious to your pre-Jack probs - there were enough with his little pretending he was coming earlier!!

After a tube removal does this affect ovulation? I thought you went from one side then the other, after one has gone does the ovary with the working fallopian tube step up its game and release every month or would it mean you only ovulate every 2 months?

(That may be a crazy question....sorry!)

i also didnt realise all u went thru and how rare a circumstance u had, losing twins! major hunni xx

my question is:

1. did drs explain what may have caused this, that the eggs settled in diff spots and why the one in the fallopian tube lasted so long?

hope u dont mind answering it hun

and major congrats on baby jack im soo glad u got a lovely happy ending

Thanx Amy
Gosh 4MCs is an awful lot to deal with, but as with me, you havin ur little blake at the end of it really helps!!
I didnt have probs with my BP, but my doc was concerned about my state of mind, slipping into depression, but with support and distraction from family and friends I managed to bypass depression quite well

In light of what you went through, physically and emotionally, and then conceiving so soon after your op, what advise would you give to those who are trying to conceive again after miscarriage

My advise would be, firstly to try and deal with the loss mentally, as this is much more complicated than the physical side of things.
Secondly, listen to your Docs, but also listen to your body. They say 3-4months after an ectopic, but you may find u need more time.
Thirdly, dont jump staright back into 'trying'. Have some time to just have fun, and be with each other, without temping, and watching dates. you may find this relaxed attitude helps with conception.


how did you keep your sanity during those first 12 weeks until Jack was in the 'safe zone'.
Mainly distraction, Ive got a fantastic support network of family and friends. Bnb helped soo much too, there is always someone around who has been through something similar and who is willing to offer advice and support.
I also had alot of support from my EPAC centre, early scans helped enormously!!!

After a tube removal does this affect ovulation?
Tbh, I really dont kno, sorry
(trust you to have a complicated question )