OK, not we have tried to get Emma to sleep tonight a few times. She has been fed/changed/winded etc and he IS sleepy as rubbing eyes, yawning. In fact I think she is OVER tired and so grumpy.

We have just put her to bed and left her to it so to speak. She is now crying loudly and has been for the last 5 mins. How long should I leave it before checking on her? We have tried this before and she just cries till she is picked up. SO she has been getting to bed later and later - sometimes midnight - which is NOT on really as OH is now suffering lack of sleep and exhaustion (im a night owl, he isnt).

I am going to go see if she needs burped, then put her back down. But how long should you leave them?

for me it depends on the type of cry. If she sounds really upset I always go and comfort her but if it just whiney then the longest I let her is about 20 mins before I try to re-settle her again. But Emma is younger than Billie so probably less (i'm a softy). It can get really frustrating can't it? sorry, wish I could offer some advice I'm a bugger for feeding and/or rocking her to sleep.

I'm really not for crying it out BUT from everything I've read they say go in every 10min. But at her age I think it might be a bit too early to try this, especially if she is overtired, not a good time to try, if you want to get her going down on her own I would do it when she's just getting sleepy, once she gets over tired she is going to be harder to comfort will probably get really upset if let to her own, especially for the first time. I would try just rocking her, maybe go for a walk to calm her down, put her in a carrier..something like that, see if you can get her calmed down and to sleep that way. Good luck though!

Abby pretty much always had a girn to herself before she went to sleep. It started just before we got her home from hospital and has carried on. Sometimes she goes down fine and others she takes a while. We generally followed a 5 minute rule, but as she gets older (she's 21 weeks now), we let it go a bit longer. Sometimes she can be crying on and off for about 20 minutes before she goes to sleep. The only time we go back into her is if it escalates. After a while we got to know the cries that were "going to sleep noise" and the ones which needed attention. Mostly now though, she settles after a few minutes and doesn't cry often. She was more used to settling herself after being in a very busy SCBU where they couldn't go to them immediately.

I'm generally not for rocking, cradling or feeding her to sleep, and even if she sleeps in the car or in the pram, she wakes as soon as it stops so there isn't any point in us using that to soothe her. I always remember my grandma talking about shoogling the pram and how if you start that, you'll always have to shoogle them to sleep. My mil does it and it drives me nuts! My health visitor was telling me she still gets calls from ladies with 18 month old babies who won't sleep because they aren't used to settling themselves.

Of course there are times when Abby is particularly unsettled and those are the times we'll take longer to calm her before she goes down. On the very bad days I do tend to feed her to sleep.

But it is horses for courses. You will know best what your baby needs. Listen to her cries and if they seem just whingy and girny, she is probably fine. It doesn't take long for them to get more used to settling themselves. If it gets too frustrating, walking away for ten minutes is probably the best thing. Then by the time you go back, you'll be calmer and if she needs picking up, she'll sense you are calm too.

well mine is only 10 weeks old, and its called CIO (cry it out) btw
im semi CIO, just depends on the cry, if he is shrieking and actually producing tears then i will comfort him. but if he is whining and not producing tears than i will let him cry.
eventually either A) it will turn into shrieking or B) he will fall asleep or C) he will stop crying and just stare at him mobile.

wish i could help. but i would say its ok to let her cry more than 5 min. prolly for her age do about 10 min. thats usually what i do!

That's what we say to her! "You just lay there and cry it out m'dear." It also works a treat for getting rid of her hiccups. A couple of minutes of crying and they've all gone.

sorry, i didnt read everyone's reply!

I think there is a big difference between 'Cry it out' and 'controlled crying' actually. I think with controlled crying you go in every 10 mins or so, but Cry it out is just that, leaving your baby to cry until they basically pass out from exhaustion!

I don't agree with either method. I agree with what mommyof3co says. Plus I'll say what I always say about any form of sleep training that involves leaving your baby to cry...crying uses up a lot of energy and calories espec. with young babies and before you know it, you'll have a hungry baby.

I wouldnt leave Alex to cry himself to sleep (i am a softie) if hes crying its because hes needing something.
I do find that if he is overtired the best thing to do is swaddle him and hold him close and then within 5mins hes asleep/or will quite happily go down in his moses basket.

Not to mention a baby full of wind after the air that they have taken in.
I too do not agree with either method. How would we like it to be left to cry ourselves to sleep? Babies must feel pretty crap if they are left to cry non stop for 10 minutes, I know I would!

However, each to their own, but I personally think it's extremely cruel and I would never do it, but if someone chooses to do it then that is their prerogative and I for one wouldnt judge or tell anyone they are wrong.

xxx