that my family is complete. we're not going to be trying for any more children.

about a month ago i started clearing out all our baby things.. just to get my head straight after my mc, it helped to get all the baby stuff out of the house since we werent gonna have a baby.

yesterday i finally finished clearing the last of the baby toys. thats it. no more newborn baby stuff is left.

now i have come to realise that i dont want to try for more children, i have rhys & ffion, i love them so much and i dont think that, as a family, we could handle having another child. my two are now both toddlers, the require a lot of time and energy, i also work part time AND i manage to squeeze in time to go to the gym for a bit of me time. things are great and we cope well on a daily basis with our routines.

part of me feel guilty.. i mean.. who wouldnt want more children!? what kind of person doesnt want to create life? there are people trying to TTC who are so desperate and here i am saying i dont want another.. how selfish do i sound!? thats not the way i want to come across at all and im sorry if it does.

is there anybody else who knows that their family is complete? why did you choose to stop at the number you did? and how do you cope with people saying to you that you should have more children?

i don't think anyone should tell you to have more and i certainly don't think you should have anymore if it isn't right for you or your family my darling xx

Sorry to hear about your mc x

My hubby is booked for a vasectomy later this month, so I guess our decision is set as well! I really just feel like my hands are full right now (though I won't rule out the possiblity of doing foster care, or adopting again).

No one really has said anything negative about it when we said we were done. I think people's eyes would bulge more if we said we were planning on more right now! In fact, we'd planned on being done after adopting, but accidently ended up preggers with the next. We decided to be done for several reasons, the biggest being I have difficult pregnancies, but also because my husband already felt overwhelmed with 2 at times, and why stretch it?

I don't think it's at all selfish to not want to have more. Being content with how things are isn't negative. Some people would even argue the other way, that it's selfish to have lots of kids, for a variety of reasons. So you'll always find people who will disagree, so what others think/say doesn't matter. It's a personal choice and you don't have to answer to anyone.

I want lots more babies but if it didnt happen i wouldnt mind as much since i have amelie. it sometimes annoys me - well maybe annoy isnt the word, bothers maybe - when people with children already get so down about not being able to conceive another. You should enjoy and be so grateful for the children you have because some people are desperate to be a parent and cant conceive at all.

My family is complete, actually it was complete 11 years ago when I had Dan, I hate to admit it but Dec was a mistake. I made OH get the snip plus I still take my pill to be double sure I dont have any more. It is not selfish to feel like this, some people want more kids some dont, simple. You shouldnt feel bad for not wanting any more, I know I dont. If people ask why I dont want more I simply say cus I dont, it is nobody's right to question your reasons for not wanting more and if you are in that place where it all feels right for you and you feel complete then why feel bad about that ?? x

Im done now. I didnt think i was not so long back but ive now decided we are finally complete. It does make me feel abit sad to think that i wont have anymore. Ive got rid of all the newborn things just kept there first outfits.

why did you choose to stop at the number you did?
I got my prince and princess and thats enough for me. I think if id had another boy id have wanted to try again for defo. Also cost and holidays and day trips to like theme parks etc are easier when you have four of you. We all feel happy and i dont want to rock the boat.

and how do you cope with people saying to you that you should have more children?
I kno i wont have this problem everyone thought i was crazy having a second lol. And if anyone did say that id say to mind their own business!

Can i ask what made you realise you was completed as a family?

i know quite a few people who are pregnant, my office manager has her 12week scan next week, my OHs uncle and aunt are expecting in September, my friend just had a baby a few weeks ago.. they talk about having their babies obviously so excited and my first thoughts are 'im so happy for them' not 'i want another...' im not broody at all and now all the baby stuff is gone it feels like that phase of my life is over... after my mc i thought that i wouldnt be able to have more children and ive realised that actually i dont want to try to replace something that i didnt have once, if you get me?

im looking forward to my kids growing up together, they already get on so well and im hoping they will be close. if we waited a few years and had another then that one would be on its own and i wouldnt want that. i have enough time and energy for my two and if we had another i just dont think we could give them the attention they need... i

know that if we did accidentally had another then obvious we would be delighted and embrace it and love it just the same!

AWWW, I think there must be an inner thing that knows when your complete. My Mum stopped at three, I'd like to think I'd have another two, but I'm happy with my two I have now. We'll be waiting atleast three years anyhow before trying for the nest one. I'd like another boy, but who knows what fate has in store.

I don't think it's a sellfish thing to do at all, I'm sorry to hear about your mc, good luck in the future and your family of four!

My hubby and I are both only children, so a one-child family is the norm for us and we feel 'done' after one, but that's not the only reason we've decided not to have any more. I had health issues and was VERY lucky to be able to conceive, and carry a pregnancy to (nearly) term, and luckier still to have a perfectly healthy child. We beat the odds. Docs have said that we'd be unwise to try again - I got sick with Darwin, but they said what I experienced would be nothing compared to what I'd go through with a second pregnancy.

Add all that up and it's pretty easy to see why we're done after just one. If people ask why we don't want more I tell them "when you achieve perfection after the first try, why keep going?" and that usually shuts them up