Hi girls,

After having a long conversation with DH, we decided that I will be going back to work. I have been working for a day now.. this is now my second.

Things have been going actually well. I haven't been feeling stressed like before, and have been taking deep breaths.

I miss my son so so so so so much! I have dropped a few tears while in the toilet, but nothing major because it is something we decided on it. We just say that we are in this country to work, and save money, so we should take advantage because we never know when we are sent back home as there is no job security. I am sure that once our second baby comes along, I will be surely a SAHM, all for them. all for them, so since there will be around 2yrs for next baby to come, I need to take advantage of this now with this crazy economical crisis.. I hope things becomes better in this economy so that I can take off to be SAHM once next babies are here until they go to school.

Working hours are from 7.30am to 2.30pm. DH has been dropping DS at daycare at 7.30am so he is staying in it for 7 hours. I check on him by phone, and when I went to pick him up yesterday, he was playing on a play mat, and he was laughing and making noises :love:

I hope things keep going well, and if there will ever be (God forbid) 0.01% no good against DS, I am up to give up everything. It's just I dont know, you feel this guilt when at the same time you know you are doing this for him.

This is all. Just thought of updating everyone!

Ok a question: when does the guilt disappear? When do things feel better like sometimes suffocating just thinking about him? I miss waking up and put him next to me and sleeping next to him again

Yesterday, when I took him home, I tried to make him laugh, but he wouldnt laugh. I was like 'did you already forget mama?" He will not forget me, right? Then he took a nap, and woke up smiling at me and laughing :love:

________________

Just now called to check on my son, and I started crying like a baby When I dont ask about him and I think of him, am ok.. but as soon as I pick up the phone to call I feel this pressure on my chest and cry!

Oh hun i hope you're ok. Must be awful, i'm dreadin goin back to work

No, he won't forget you. It might give you some comfort to sleep with a blanket at night so it has your scent on him to leave with him during the day.

oh sweetie - of course he will not forget you - you are mummy - his fav person in the world! Don't feel guilty - you mentioned he was playing and laughing so he is perfectly happy xxxx

Aww, sorry it's so hard for you

You made the right choice for you and your OH, and the guilt will probably never go, even though it should because your little boy is very happy by the sounds of it! Us mummies are always feeling guilty for something hun. You're doing the best thing for your family x

I think i'm going to be the same. I'm going back to work on 1 June and finally got round to putting a deposit down at the nursery for Harry's place. I think i'd been putting it off, but I have to go back to work - we couldn't afford for me not too. I'll be working Monday - Thursday, 8.30 am - 4.00 pm. My mum will be having Harry on a Thursday, and he'll be in nursery Monday - Wednesday.

I'm dreading dropping him off and leaving him with strangers. I know that he'll be fine, and that it probably will be best for him in the long run - mixing with other children, and doing various activities, but you still can't get away from the fact that the nursery staff don't love him like we do, and they also have other children to look after.

Still - it's only 4 days a week, and we'll have more money to buy him the things he wants. The nursery also do "induction sessions" prior to Harry starting with them properly, so the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday prior to the Monday i'm back at work, he'll be there for a few hours a day - some of which will be with me, so I can get to see him settle and meet the staff etc.