Make-Me-A-Mammy's ttc journey

This is my ttc journal-pray god it is a short one.

I'll start with a wee introduction - I'm Ann Marie, 22 and live with my fiance. Last month we decided that the time was right for us to finally start ttc after my next :witch: and so the last few weeks we've just been waiting for her to rear her head (hopefully for the last time if we're REALLY lucky!)

I have had problems with the :witch: for quite a long time now-ever since going on the depo injection about four years ago but I didn't know the extent of the problems until I came off the bcp about 2 years ago.

TMI alert to follow but I just want anyone who wants to follow my journal to know the full story...when I first came off the bcp the :witch: came and decided she'd like to stay...for 6 months!!! Finally managed to get rid of her after being put on 9 progesterone tablets a day for 3 months.

I then had the opposite problem as once I got rid of her, she didn't want to come back and I didn't have another af for another 4 months. The doctors finally decided that they were gona do some investigating when---just like that---she showed up and since then she has been (relatively) regular.

My cycle dates since last October have been as follows: 34, 36, 35, 49, 57, 43, 36 so they definately seem to be coming with some sort of regularity-the times where it was longer specifically relate to the two months when I had exam stress.

So that's us completely up to date-today is day 35 of my cycle so I have everything crossed that she is going to show up in the next couple of days and if so the Doctor has told me to assume I have a cycle length of 36 days.

Also today I have started to feel some af symptoms which is definately a good sign-bloated, tired and have shouted at poor df twice today so all the normal signs :happydance:

I have been on BnB for a few weeks now and have been so so so looking forward to getting to this stage and once :witch: turns up I can write up CYCLE DATE 1 and get out of this limbo which I feel like I've been stuck in for so long as I waited for my body to regulate before trying.

So that's about all for now-if you've managed to read to this stage u've done pretty well and I can't wait to share my journey with everyone on hear as I have seen how supportive everyone is of one another and feel proud to be becoming a part of that.

So for now...roll on CD1

Good Luck :dust:

Hi sweetie... just wanted to wish you luck for your TTC journey.
Looks like you've already had your run of 'bad luck' so fingers crossed you'll get your :bfp: very soon!
Ooodles of :dust:
Z x

Welcome to the madness that is journalling!!

Hope this journey is a short one for you.

Big :hug:

Good luck with TTC, I hope its a short journey for you

Welcome to the journals! :hi:

I hope your journey is short and sweet!

:hug: :dust:

Hmm...I'm not sure if this is normal or not as I have only started charting my temp in the last week but I thought it was meant to fall when :witch: was due but this morning it went up quite a bit and the :witch: still hasn't made her appearance!! :hissy:

I think it's one of those things-coz I'm thinking about it so much she's staying away and yet when u forget she's due she gets u at the most awkward times!! :dohh:

any advice as to whether this temp thing is normal or very strange? also any tips as to how to bring her on much appreciated!!

:hug:

AM x

Hi makemeamammy!!

So glad you made it here!! :wohoo: :happydance: :wohoo:

Im sure that there are plenty of girls here that will quite happily donate a :witch: to you!! :rofl:

COME ON :witch:!!

Hmm...I'm not sure if this is normal or not as I have only started charting my temp in the last week but I thought it was meant to fall when :witch: was due but this morning it went up quite a bit and the :witch: still hasn't made her appearance!! :hissy:

I think it's one of those things-coz I'm thinking about it so much she's staying away and yet when u forget she's due she gets u at the most awkward times!! :dohh:

any advice as to whether this temp thing is normal or very strange? also any tips as to how to bring her on much appreciated!!

:hug:

AM x

Welcome to Journals here a sprinkle of :dust: to get you on your way!

the best time to start charting is either during :witch: or just after as your just learning to understand your charts, I personally would use this bit as a practice run (getting used to temping) and start listening to the info in your next cycle. A single temp on it's own doesn't really mean much it's the pattern which will reveal it's secrets!

Good Luck!

thanks girls, well still no sign of :witch: so i guess this makes it cd38 for me :cry: - df and I :sex: last night to see if he could 'get things moving' lol :rofl: but no luck there either.

Beginning to wonder if the whole temperature problem lies with my thermometer coz today when I tested (at exactly the same time as always) it came up as 35.9 the first time which I thought was great coz it meant a big drop but then I tested 2 seconds later to double check and it came up with 36.4, next two times were 36.1 and 36.2 and then went back to sleep and checked again an hour later and it said 36.5!!!

is this a dodgy thermometer or should I just count the first time and forget about all the others?!

Also...did a test with fmu this morning-no idea why as I KNEW it was gona be a :bfn: coz last month df and I were either using condoms or withdrawal but just so that I know that the :witch: is definately being an old cowbag it came up with a :bfn: :cry:

Is someone turning into a POAS addict already??
Sorry about the :bfn: its always disappointing to see them even if you know the result. Hopefully the wicked :witch: will arrive soon so you can get on with some baby making!!
Im not sure about the temping thing, but I think you have to take the initial temp as the result.

lol I might actually be becoming a poas addict as i'm just about to buy a pile of opk's!! i know i said i wasn't but this cycle being long has made me realise that i have no idea when i'm ovulating so gona go for it!

I've now tried :sex: and hot bath to bring it on!! as well as eating like a horse over last few days! i know i don't really have a say as to when it comes but the things i've been doing to try aren't exactly an effort lol xx

OPK's are great fun and a good excuse to POAS twice a month :rofl: Alot less complicated than temping too!

Yeah, i'm hoping they'll be easier as the temping thing is confusing and i think it's causing me unnecessary worry at the mo so...I am now the proud owner of 20 opks!!!! yay! :happydance:

wish she would hurry up and fly by coz i'm sooo bloated and I'm gona look horrible in my dress on Friday at the wedding I'm going to if she hasn't appeared and the swelling hasn't gone down! oh well

AM xx

CD38

Right-what a funny 24hrs it's been. Wanted to cry at times, wanted to jump around with energy at times! :muaha: Been feeling sooo frustrated about the lack of :witch: and getting myself all stressed about the fact that it seems i'm back to my irregular cycles!

BUT...after firstly deciding this morning I didn't want to come on here anymore as it was making me even more stressed I have now got a renewed energy and have calmed myself down and officially do not mind if :witch: is late!!

read a ttc journal earlier of a girl who had a really long cycle and still managed to get a bfp - bottom line is as long as i know when i'm ovulating that's the main point and not how long it takes so im happy happy happy now :happydance:

Got my drawer full of opk's, my thermometer (managed to resist snapping it in two :rofl: ) and some positivity on my side so it's all good in the hood :thumbup:

AM xx

makemeamammy - TTC is defo a rollercoaster!!! Glad you managed to pick yourself and dust off. Hope that the :witch: pops around soon for you. I have one going spare around the 21st September which you can have...... for free!! :rofl:

well i'm keeping my fingers crossed she's appeared b4 then but if she does then i'll have a word when she's here to make sure she stays away from u. :rofl: xx

Mammy, I hope the :witch: arrives soon for you so you can begin again! Good for you for picking yourself up! I tried to temp but it was really quite annoying and found that I wanted my obsession to stop at POAS 2 times a day. :rofl:

makemeamammy - Can you make sure its a very very STERN word with her. As she doesnt pay any attention to me!! Even when I sack her she keeps coming back!

makemeamammy - Can you make sure its a very very STERN word with her. As she doesnt pay any attention to me!! Even when I sack her she keeps coming back!

:rofl: :rofl: - don't worry I'll put on my best 'teacher' voice when i give her the telling off-it works with 5 year olds so it's bound to work on her :shrug:

chris- thanks for the support, funny-its been lovely weather and my mood was rubbish and now it's horrible weather my mood is good again-i'm a weird creature!

anyways, for now i'm away, hopefully cd38 will be followed by cd1

ttfn AM xx :rain:

Thought i'd pop by and say hello :hi:

I wobbled a bit when I first started journaling but now I don't think I would be so positive and pick myself up so quickly after a :bfn:. The girls make me laugh and I know they care. It's great to check in on your mates and support them through as well. Hope you stick with it xx


hope your :witch: turns up so you can get opk testing then :sex: so you can get your :bfp:

x

Hey Mammy, hope you're well today!

:hug:

Hey girlie. Catching up on your journal - I am on Day 47 so I feel your frustration. Every day you pray for either that damn witch or that BFP! I send you all the baby dust I have to spare (gotta keep some for myself of course) - but we really do need to fall back on each other right now! Take care.

Hey!!

Just been reading thru ur journal... wishing u all the luck for your :bfp: !!! And obviously to do that, to get ur :witch: asap!! xx

Hey hunny,

Hope that the :witch: has put in an appearance for you!!

Just checking to see how you're doing today.

:hug:

Hey hun, just wanted to drop some lucky :dust: off in your journal and wish you all the best in your journey! Hope the wicked :witch: makes an appearance some time soon for you!! :hugs:

:hug:

hope your well today - I hope the wicked :witch: show her face so you can get down to some serious :sex:

:hug:

Hope you're having a good weekend!

:hug:

hi everyone, thank u all soooo much for stopping by. I have been away from comp since last wednesday as was up home for a wedding-had a great time and secretly hoped that having some fun and destressing would help the ol' :witch: to find her way but no such luck and STILL nothing :cry:

feeling really frustrated about the whole thing and thinking about going to the doctors but don't think they'll do much as they didn't do anything last time.

had my 9 week old niece overnight on Saturday also and loved every minute of it (i was at her delivery too) -df was sooooo good with her (even though she's got colic and was in a lot of pain once or twice) and she slept from 11 at night until 2pm the next day when both df and i were both just getting too impatient waiting for her to wake up so gave her a wee 'helping hand' cruel i know but she didn't mind too much and was full of smiles. asked df if he was sure he still wanted to ttc after hearing her with colic and he said definately :happydance:

thanks to all who've left messages of support, maybe we should all get together and go on a witch hunt :rofl: and AppleSeed I defo think we should try and support eachother-would be lovely to have someone else going thru the whole irregular thing!

night night all xxx

I was wondering where you got too!!! Cant believe shes STILL not made an appearance. Hoping that you'll get a :bfp: instead. Im so jealous that you got to look after your lickle niece I bet it was lovely, but I bet youre dead broody now.

All the best hun

Kerry xxx

lol yes Kerry, even more broody now but it was lovely coz i miss her so much when i'm away (after being with her everyday from birth to 3weeks)

well i did an hpt and it was exactly as i suspected-:bfn:
i think i feel more upset about the fact that this means i get to be labelled with the term 'irregular' than the fact that there is no bub in there (as obv we hadn't been ttc last cycle)

so CD46 it is and it looks like i'm gona be in limbo-land for a wee while yet :cry: sorry for all the negativity it's just quite frustrating that they had become quite regular for a while and then the minute df and i decide we want to start ttc they disappear again!

i think i'm gona go out and buy a big tub of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream to try cheer myself up tonight as I've been watching my weight for the dress i was wearing at the wedding last week but since that's over and done with I think i deserve some ice cream! :rofl:

You go girl with the Ben and Jerrys!!!! sounds like a much needed treat!

I have just had a read through your journal and I'm sorry the old cow is being such a pain to you, I think there are quite a few of us on here who have had problems after the dreaded depo jab, but please take comfort that it will sort itself out in the end, it just take time, but too much time :dohh:

Right I'm off on a :witch: hunt for you, she's got alot to answer for!

:hug:

I'm so sorry, Mammy. :hugs:

thanks lola and chris, i hope it's not still coz of the depo as it was about 4 or 5 years ago i took that, think it's just sod's law since we've decided to start ttc.

:hugs: do u think i should go to the doctor or do u think they'll just say i have to wait? xx

how do u insert pics? x

Click GO Advanced at the bottom of the message box and then scroll down click on manage attachments and follow the prompts x hope that helps

Sorry the witch hasn't made an appearance yet, she seems to be just as lost as the sperm in ttc.

Hope she comes soon hun. I would maybe go to the doctor and see if they can bring her on, but this time mention that you are now in the ttc game as well.

best of luck hun xx

right girls, now I am totally confused!! TMI alert coming up...

last night when df and i were about to :sex: we were 'fooling about' (as u do) and when he took out his finger there was LOADS of white cm (i told u there was gona be TMI) :blush:

this is kind of strange as i've not really had much going on in the last week or so since i started looking, also i hadn't been checking my temps as faithfully as i was before but this morning when i checked it had nose-dived to 35.7 which is strange as I had mostly been up in the 36's.

when it comes to cervical position I am really confused how to check that-i had been classing it as low and closed but really it isn't closed it's just tight but df says it's always like that...again sorry for the tmi :blush:

do u think i could be approaching ovulation this late in cycle? i had kind of assumed it had already happened since im so late in the cycle (CD47 today) - i did an opk yesterday afternoon and it was a :bfn: what do u think is going on?

df and i :sex: last night...just in case :blush: let me know ur thoughts on my weird situation

AM xx

Hi hun,

My CM is always creamy!!! So Im afraid that its the norm for me!! I think (correct me if Im wrong) that around OV time CP is low, soft and open (I think!!) But some of the more experienced girls maybe able to help better!!!

Hun hope that all is revealed in the not too distant future!! I bet its killing you!

COME ON :bfp: or :witch:!!! (Would prefer a :bfp:)

Sorry hun I dont know anything about CP

But CM is usually creamy for me too (apart from around Ov when it is clear)

This could be TMI?? but seeing as you were 'fooling around' could it not just have been your arousal fluid?? as this generally looks like what you have described too

Sorry I couldn't be more help but I dont know anything about longer cycles or anything xx

forgot to mention that on my fertility friend calendar yesterday's date is now highlighted in green and the traffic lights say that i am 'probably fertile' what does it mean when the calendar date gets highlighted green? x

if i knew how to attach the link to my chart i would?! xx

Hi hun,

My CM is always creamy!!! So Im afraid that its the norm for me!! I think (correct me if Im wrong) that around OV time CP is low, soft and open (I think!!) But some of the more experienced girls maybe able to help better!!!

Hun hope that all is revealed in the not too distant future!! I bet its killing you!

COME ON :bfp: or :witch:!!! (Would prefer a :bfp:)

My CM is usually always creamy as well. Maybe they nose dive in temp was implantation? I dont' know anything about fertility charts or why it would be green, I'm sorry. Do you use opk's? I've never been on Depo but my periods were always normal after coming off birth control pills.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more help!

Im not sure about charting hun. I would just :sex: anyway!! may aswell!!

As you know I was on Depo too but went straight on to BCP's after coming off, then got preggers whilst on the pill then MC'd. So Ive no idea, I would go back to DR's.

tried to phone docs just now and it's closed!!!!!!!! i know it's wednesday afternoon but come on-it's not the dark ages! :rofl: xx

Sorry the docs were closed hun.:hugs:

Hi all :hi:

onto cd48 now, going for a personal best (or worst) here i think-the longest i've had since i've been keeping note in the last year was about 57 days.

managed to book a doctors appointment for next wednesday although i'm not sure they'll be able to do anything :hissy: hoping i won't have to use it though coz the nasty witch will have hopefully shown her face by then!

i know that if/when she does come she's gona be a complete b*tch to me tho coz she always is if it's late but right now i don't even care-would take the most painful af in the world just to have it here and now and be able to say i was on CD1.

AM xx

p.s. temp back up to 36.2 today as normal and opk was a :bfn: yest so think it was probably a random drop rather than an ovulation dip. :cry: xxx

:dohh: sorry you got a :bfn: on the OPK. However I hope that the trip to the Docs wednesday holds the answer to getting a shorter cycle!!

hi all :hi:

so i'm sure some of u saw my (ever so slightly over-excited) threads last night. :blush: The reason being I got a VERY slight line on an opk-ok not the greatest thing in the world but a slight line is better than no line which is all i've had up to now. :dohh:

i know it was negative (go to opk gallery and it's under 'possible positive opk???') but just to be on the safe side df and i :sex: last night :blush: and we're gona carry on doing so for as long as i'm getting anything resembling a line on the opk's. :happydance:

so now i'm just waiting to test later on today (think i'll be testing about 1pm and might even take one to work tonight to test at about 6pm) and i'm praying that the lines get darker! tbh the idea that i hadn't yet ovulated hadn't really crossed my mind as i'm so late in my cycle so would feel soooooo unbelievably lucky if i have actually caught *o*. :cloud9:

so girls, send me ur ovulation dust coz hopefully i'm gona need some :cloud9:

AM xx

Ovulation dust winging your way in a massive ovulation dust storm! xxxx

:dust::dust::dust:

Hi hun :hugs:

To add your Fertility Friend chart link: Click on "homepage setup" just above your calendar, at the top of the next page in a box is your "Charting Home Page Web Address", copy this link and add to your signature and hey presto, we can all stalk your chart!! :happydance:

With us lucky long and irregular girls, ovulation can occur at any time as our cycles are very rarely the same 2 months in a row! :dohh: I ovulated on CD 58 the month I got my :bfp: and was convinced that I had either missed OV or I wasn't going to OV. You just have to keep looking out for those signs....sensitive BB's, Egg White CM, Mild cramping and temperature dips if you are temping.

Sending you loads of ovulation :dust::dust::dust::dust: Hope the eggy makes an appearance!!

:hug:

Some ovulation dust coming your way!
:dust: :dust:

Hi all :hi:

Sorry for my absence, ended up going to a wedding-fayre in Glasgow on Sat.

So the situation is....yep as u guessed it...still in limbo!! Have tested once everyday since getting the weird slight line on the opk and i'm still getting them but they don't seem to be getting any darker.

This morning when I went to the toilet I noticed quite a bit of what i would describe as watery cm in my knickers (sorry for tmi) which normally i would say is a good sign but i've had this before so not really sure what to think.

My temp chart is still all over the place too-one minute i get a dip then a big rise then a dip again so who knows what's going on!! :hissy:

This was not meant to be this way-it was all so simple, I thought the hardest part would be to get df to decide what he wanted but that was relatively straight forward-hadn't even considered that :witch: was gona start playing her nasty games again :cry:

out of curiosity, does anyone know what happens in an 'anovulation' cycle-do u end up bleeding at the end or does ur body just start again without a bleed?

AM xx

Ugh, how terribly frustrating!! :growlmad: I hope your cycle straightens itself out soon for ya!! I don't know the answer to your anovulatory question, sorry.

:hug:

So i went to the doctor today and basically there's not much they can do about my lack of af.

Have been a bit upset over last few days and df and i have spoken a lot and decided that maybe now isn't the right time for us...i am worried about affording a wedding on only df's salary and he is worried about how i'm gona cope with my final year in uni and the stress of ttc with irregulars.

i suggested we wait until after the wedding-seems like a long way away now and i'm not happy about it but think i would be a lot less stressed and worried about doing it then-df was quite upset, says he really wants a child now which is sweet so we haven't made any decisions on that front but the likelihood is we'll take a break for now and might leave it til after the wedding.

One thing i have decided on is that it is not healthy for me to be this involved and kind of obsessed about something i have no control over when i have other things i need to focus on in my life right now (getting my degree and getting married) so i hate to say it but there will be no more baby and bump and no more fertility friend for me-at least for the time being.

I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me and kept me company for the short time i've been on this and i might stop by every now and then to see how u all get on with ur journeys, good luck everyone

see you girls, AM xxx

Mammy, I am sorry to see you leave :cry:

All the very best to you!

:hug:

sorry you are leaving hun, but i think you are doing the right thing by concentrating on 1 thing at a time :hugs:

you never know... by taking the focus off TTC you may find that you'll fall pregnant without even trying. Stress can do funny things to your cycles.

hope to see you back soon hun & im always around on facebook if you wanna say hello :hugs:

Lots of love nicky xx

Ohhhh sweets.

im sorry that you are leaving. :cry: But you better keep in touch with me on MSN, because I want to hear all about the wedding plans from the dress to the button holes!!!

Although I know that you are no longer going to be TTC I found this interesting article about anovulation which you might find useful.

http://www.thinkbaby.co.uk/news/article/mps/UAN/9/v/2

Im hoping that whilst focusing on the wedding and completing your degree your cycles manage to get back into pattern and when the time comes to TTC your journey will be short!!

Wishing you all the best.

Lots of love

Kerry :hug:

All the best hun, good luck with your degree and then the wedding so much to think about with those two things!

I hope your cycles settle down on their own and then you don't have to ttc!

xxxx