Children + Swearing-> Your Views

I am just wondering what everyones views on their children swearing is? Or future children.
I'm hoping this doesn't turn into a big angry discussion over views.

Anyways, my opinion is that I will allow it as I swear a fair bit and it would be hypocritical if I didn't allow it of my child, of course I am referring to when my child is older; a teenager or so. However, if i ever catch her swearing at someone then there will be hell to pay. I also want her to have a diverse vocabulary and not to rely on swearing as a way to communicate, if that makes sense. I also want her to have respect for her elders, I do not swear around my parents or people older than me that i know do not like swearing; this would be the same for her. I would not want her to swear around my parents or similar adults.

Not sure if what I wanted to say came out right; but anyways. What are your views?

my language is awful and no way will I be swearing around my children at a young age!! I understand what you mean about teenagers but I dont know what age I will start to be a bit more laid back about it!!

Hearing 5 year olds swear is in my eyes absolutely disgusting!!

I definately agree with you there! Young children swearing, even primary school kids just disgusts me. I will be making an effort not to swear once she's born and would probably become a bit more laid back once she's older.

I'm in the same club as you Sarah, so like you i'll allow exceptions, but not used to insult anyone directly. I hate seeing little children swear though, I've seen 5 year olds with mouths like a sewer, all because of the environment they've been brought up in. I live in a lovely little place now though, where kids can actually run around outside without fear, even the road's safe! But back where I grew up, well, the fact I ended up a teenage mum isn't the biggest surprise. I hope my child NEVER has to live in an area as corrupt as some I've had the pleasure of staying in. The kids back there would spit, kick, swear, steal, all from the young ages of 6, by 12 they'd be smoking/doing drugs and by 14 they'd have their second baby on the way. That's deemed normal in them places.

Oh wow, that would be horrible pixie! I'm so glad that you have found yourself a wonderful place to have a family!

Funnily enough it's only 5 minutes drive away from the place I grew up! And 10 minutes away is an even worse place! But we're tucked away in the country, shielded by fields and tractors making it impossible for people to get anywhere on time (: In fact the estate I'm on at the moment is nicknamed the 'Beirut of Rainford', it's the most peaceful little place i've ever been! And yet it's known for it's 'drug problems' (all the old hippies live here) by people in the village! I think it's a nice little balanced place, safe, not completely without problems, but we all get along just fine and there's a park just at the back of my house without graffiti, or urine down the slide, or used contraception all over the place... haha I've never lived in a place so clean before this, I could definitely get used to it and I hope the buba appreciates it!

I will be quite laid back with Eddy swearing in his teenage years, I would draw the line if it was aimed at anyone in particular or if I heard him swearing in the street because it's just not nice to hear when your out and about. I only swear in the privacy of my own home and very occasionally swear in front of my parents and in-laws. DH has a strict list of what he will and will not be allowed to say in front of me

Children swearing is a big no no. My mum swears alot (always has done) but when i was growing up we werent allowed it at all...even "flipping hell" or something like that wasnt allowed...we were told by my mum that they are adult words and that she was allowed to say them because she was an adult and we are children so we cant say them.....

Even to this day I have never swore AT my mum and would never do that....i swear around her but i would never swear at her....and my brothers and sisters are the same...

I swear, not directly at people but if I hurt myself or something goes wrong! Rarely though.
I never swear in front of my mum and dad, never have, never will, I'm still scared my Dad will smack me for it!

My daughter is nearly 13 and is not allowed to swear in front of me or her Dad and definitely not in front of Grandparents, I would hope that she will have the common decency not to swear at us ever.

I have heard her with her friends and they all seem to swear, then i went on to hear my daughter call someone a bitch, she was dragged into the house and told off!
Maybe I am a bit over the top with it but I just want her to carry on understanding that it is really horrible hearing people swearing out in the street, maybe I am a bit stuck up that way!!!

OH's mother swears all the time and she will be getting told about it before this baby arrives! I'm not having a toddler in a trolley in Tescos cursing!!

Absolutely not tolerated whatsoever. I don't even swear now. My OH does but he won't infront of our children!

Its unrealistic to think that Seth will never hear those words but he certainly wont be hearing them from me. Ive never sworn in front of my parents because I think its completely direspectful. But my language otherwise is horrendous, Ill admit.

I wouldnt bge happy with him swearing in front of me either. But my OHs parents are ok with swearing so... who knows.

xxx

I was brought up in a home where no one ever used foul language. My daughter isn't around anyone who swears and if someone does around her (even a stranger) i'll pick them up on it. I would not tolerate my daughter swearing what ever her age (even teenager) i don't think you have to swear to get a point accross so long as you have been taught to express yourself properly as i was.

My son has heard me say it on occasions where I've hurt myself or somethings went wrong and it's out your mouth quicker than you can think.

But if he repeats it. hes told it's a naughty word and mummy/daddy are bad. I've never heard him say it other than unless one of us has said it first. Also nusery have never mentioned him saying anything rude. So I think I'm safe.

But I don't like to see children swearing. My mates son says "Pikey" to everyone. I find it a little off, she laughs at it, but I'm sure it's a habbit hes in and he'll grow out of. But she doesn't discourage him.

I don't swear (at least not out loud!), my hubby doesn't swear either - in fact he can't stand to hear ladies swear anyway. Both of us were brought up in homes where swearing wasn't allowed (my mum told me that "shut up!" was swearing because aparantly I used to say it to my brother too many times!).

I would hope that my vocabulary is wide enough for me not to need to swear especially infront of children and I want my child to be able to express her views/feelings in a way that won't make her sound like an illiterate potty mouth!

Too many times I've heard mum's in ASDA pushing around trolleys a few aisles away whilst swearing and cursing at their toddlers who in turn, swear and curse right back at them! It just doesn't look or sound right at all.


(There was one time however, when my cousin was three, and we were all sat at the Christmas table for dinner and she decided to say "thank you Biatch!" when her dad poured her juice! Everyone was so shocked and I just couldn't hold in the laughter so my mum made me leave the table!)

Truth is, most kids do pick it up from somewhere. Usually at school where parent's haven't been so careful and it spreads. Can't blame every mother for a toddler swearing. I'm not defending them, but it isn't always the parents.

my first sentence was "eat sh*t and die" my mum hasnt got a clue where i heard it lol and as a child i did swear alot and it does sound awful! Im going to try n watch my mouth once baby is here so theres less chance of him swearing but this day and age i dont think we can really stop it happening

No, I agree with Blah11, I absolutely won't tolerate it. Also, this baby is going to be growing up around my parents...if even call something stupid today(I'm 20!), I get "Raelene watch your language!" :rofl:

There is no way on this earth that my child is going to get away with swearing. My 3 year old cousin curses like a sailor and it sounds AWFUL. When he hurts himself or drops something all you hear is "oh fuck!"

My 3 year old cousin curses like a sailor and it sounds AWFUL. When he hurts himself or drops something all you hear is "oh fuck!"

:(.

I taught Mikey to go "Oopsie daisy". Which when I think back, makes him sound a little poofy.

Ok, im going to confess, i swear alot and ive heard my kids swearing too, BUT i have told them that they are not aloud to swear outside of this house and if a hear them they will be going to bed and not aloud the ps2.
Where i live people swear, its a council estate and although its a relatively ok estate, you still get your teenagers that swear every other word.
I was always raised not to swear, but now im older i do swear in front of my parent (though there are certain words i wont say as my mum will slap me round the ear, lol).
I teach my kids to respect their elders and with that comes not swearing in front of them.
My daughter has learned this and wont swear at all, its mainly the lads who like to push their luck.
My sons teacher once told me he had sworn at school and he regretted it as i told his teacher to put him on report and he wasent aloud on his ps2 for a week, hes never sworn at school since.

Where i live people swear, its a council estate and although its a relatively ok estate, you still get your teenagers that swear every other word.
.

its not just council estates where teenagers swear and misbehave!

i grew up on a council estate and my OH grew up in a very posh village in scotland and he behaved alot worse than i did growing up!

I don't swear, nor does my husband so it will not be allowed.

I allow My 9 yr old is allowed to swear only in his artwork-- on paper. I found that it's a way for him to express his emotions through art without abusing the power of vulgar language. He is aware that if that right is abused, it will get taken away. There are certain expressions that he allowed to use if he's feeling upset such as " I'm really feeling pissed off today". He may use those in the privacy of our home but not in public.

no matter what we do when they are out with there mates and we arent around they will swear as much as they want and i dont think we can do anything about it.

my little sister never swore as a child she hated it and i used to try and get her to say swear words but she wouldnt now aged 13 shes got such a atitude and swears so much its unbelieveable!

i swear quite a lot i must admit but i will not let my child swear, no way!

when i was growing up my mam swore and i was always told that she could cos it was adult words and when i was an adult i could say them, thats what im going to say to my kids, my whole family swears so even if i stop the child will still be around it so i think this is the best way, plus it worked for me hehe

saying that, u should hear the stuff my little brother comes out with :O honestly, she tells him off and i tell him off for it when im there but i think he got away with it too much when he was little, hes 13 now...so i will have to make sure i dont let mine say it even from the beginning or apparently it doesnt work haha

There are certain expressions that he allowed to use if he's feeling upset such as " I'm really feeling pissed off today". He may use those in the privacy of our home but not in public.

Why do you not teach him to express without the use of foul language. "I'm feeling really ANGRY today" would be the way for a 9 yr old to express themselves, the use of foul language does not mean he is expressing himself in a better way. As long as he can express his veiws thats a good thing (without swearing). He will one day express himself in public and his use of foul language will slip out.

I Hate it!!!! Theres no way i will be letting my child get away with swearing when he is young, when hes in his teenage years theres very little i can do about it. I do admit i do occasionally swear and so does my hubby but since finding out we were expecting we've barely done it atall. My FIL swears like a tropper, ive told him if my little man picks up on it ill be one cross mummy!!!!

There are certain expressions that he allowed to use if he's feeling upset such as " I'm really feeling pissed off today". He may use those in the privacy of our home but not in public.

Why do you not teach him to express without the use of foul language. "I'm feeling really ANGRY today" would be the way for a 9 yr old to express themselves, the use of foul language does not mean he is expressing himself in a better way. As long as he can express his veiws thats a good thing (without swearing). He will one day express himself in public and his use of foul language will slip out.

I don't think there is any need for the word "piss" in a 9 year olds sentences.

Funnily enough DH and I were talking about this just yesterday. I'm like you Sarah, DH and O both swear a bit and I don't want to be hypocritical about it with my kids. But I also hope that we have a diverse enough language that our kids can learn to insult and express themselves in more imaginative ways! I would be way more concerned if my child use words that were particularly derrogative to women (e.g. c**t) or that were offensive in another way such as racist than I would if they said shit or whatever. F*ck should be reserved for special occasions!

My Mum almost never ever swears and my Dad doesn't very often but my oldest brother is nearly 9 years older than me so I knew all the swear words at a young age. I didn't really swear much but then I didn't really think much about it. If it is totally taboo and naughty then kids will do it just to get a rise but I never did that as they were just words. In secondary school, first year I think, I was being bullied by some boy so I swore at him and a teacher heard and called home. My Dad was about and was all "and?". I think it's nonsensical to be hysterical about swearing. Words are what you make them.

My son has heard me say it on occasions where I've hurt myself or somethings went wrong and it's out your mouth quicker than you can think.

But if he repeats it. hes told it's a naughty word and mummy/daddy are bad. I've never heard him say it other than unless one of us has said it first. Also nusery have never mentioned him saying anything rude. So I think I'm safe.

But I don't like to see children swearing. My mates son says "Pikey" to everyone. I find it a little off, she laughs at it, but I'm sure it's a habbit hes in and he'll grow out of. But she doesn't discourage him.

I'm in the same boat as you.

I swear on occasion and hubby swears a bit more. My kids have come out with it once or twice, just because they heard it. But they have not for a few years, and they know it's bad to swear. I've told them that it's not appropriate for them to swear and they understand. They know that it's for older people and not for young people to say.

My mom used to swear when I was a kid. But I knew it was a no-no and I understood as well.

I don't really swear.It might just flies out of my mouth here and there when I'm really mad but I never use it as a part of my vocabulary.

I won't be swearing in front of my daughter.I really don't want her to swear either.

But just to get this right.I hate the fact that words like 'hell' and 'ass' are treated as terrible swears.I certainly don't see them as such and it wouldn't be a problem for me if when she grows up uses them.

I cant stand people who let their kids swear, I think its disgusting. A friend of mine has a two year old and he is constantly swearing - she just laughs but I dont find it funny at all.
I swear sometimes, I think everyone does, but I never swear in front of my family and never swear at people, its usually just something I say when angry. I would hope my kids will be the same.

no matter if u swear or not kids will hear it from somewhere and when we arent about swear like theres no tomorrow. my mum swore infront of us from time to time n when we swore we'd get punished and shed say only adults can say these words. So i just learnt not to swear infront of her or my nan

Amy - I agree, it really gets my goat that all swear words are classed as equally evil when they totally aren't! I would never say F*ck at work for example but crap and shit are ok with work colleagues, none of them in a meeting though! (Hence the lack of *s!) I think it's important to discriminate what is and isn't appropriate under certain circumstances.

Sparky - I think laughing at a 2 year old swearing is a bit much so I can totally see where you are coming from! It really depends how old the kid is and when they are using the words.

Those who've said kids just learn not to swear in front of their parents are totally right. Like I said in my previous post, I rather not make a special deal out of it so they don't think it's particularly naughty or funny and won't be interested in swearing just to get attention.

Amy - I agree, it really gets my goat that all swear words are classed as equally evil when they totally aren't! I would never say F*ck at work for example but crap and shit are ok with work colleagues, none of them in a meeting though! (Hence the lack of *s!) I think it's important to discriminate what is and isn't appropriate under certain circumstances.

Sparky - I think laughing at a 2 year old swearing is a bit much so I can totally see where you are coming from! It really depends how old the kid is and when they are using the words.

Those who've said kids just learn not to swear in front of their parents are totally right. Like I said in my previous post, I rather not make a special deal out of it so they don't think it's particularly naughty or funny and won't be interested in swearing just to get attention.

I agree although when i was 10 it did seem funny to try and get my little sister who was 3 to swear lol i was a evil big sister tho lol

You know, when your kids are teenagers and in school, there is absolutely nothing you can do but just say that you won't tolerate it at home.

But when I go around and hear little cousins spitting curse words out like they're just regular words...its a bit much. My cousin for example, he says "oh fuck!" a lot, but he also says "you bitch" and "holy shit" and "you piece of crap". So you know, it sounds horrible and I won't be putting up with it. His parents just laugh at it but I'm completely appalled everytime I see him.

There are certain expressions that he allowed to use if he's feeling upset such as " I'm really feeling pissed off today". He may use those in the privacy of our home but not in public.

Why do you not teach him to express without the use of foul language. "I'm feeling really ANGRY today" would be the way for a 9 yr old to express themselves, the use of foul language does not mean he is expressing himself in a better way. As long as he can express his veiws thats a good thing (without swearing). He will one day express himself in public and his use of foul language will slip out.


Using the word "pissed" and using the word "angry" isn't the same. Try using it when you're feeling livid and notice how it really lets some steam off. The language I hear his classmates use is foul and out of order so I've found a middle ground for his age bracket. As for his art, it's a wonderful way to express himself without offending others. Do you have a child his this age? Take a listen to a bunch of them on the playground. You'll be quite suprised to hear what comes out of their mouths! I have been told numerous times by parents, teachers, friends and relatives how polite and respectful my son is. It is because I allow him some leeway and because we are open about it that he doesn't feel the need to hide it or abuse it. Sorry if you disagree but you're naive if you think todays children don't swear.

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

i am a bit of a potty mouth myself but i am going to try not to talk that way infront of LO :blush:. I don't think small children should swear, i don't think it is cute at all, it's trashy to me :blush:. but once the baby is older in teen years and such...i don't think i will have a restriction on it...as long as it's not the only things coming out of their mouths!! I will probably smack them if they use that language towards me though :rofl: i HATE HATE HATE it when people use swear words towards me, especially DH...it's one of those things that REALLY set me off!! Saying those things towards a person in general is rude IMO, i don't call people those things or tell them to F-off etc... when i swear it is to/about inanimate objects!

i tell my oh to f off all the time but when he says it to me i feel like crying lol

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

But don't you feel that's a bit hypocritical to pretend you don't do something when you do? I also don't feel that swearing is the same thing as bad behaviour, the two things can easily exist without the other.


If you're a person who never swears and thinks it's always wrong or inappropriate to then I can completely see why you wouldn't want your kids to swear at all. But if you do swear and still don't think your kids should swear, I just think that's very hypocritical. I will discourage my kids from swearing when they are little and always try not to swear too much anyway because these things have a much more impressive impact when done rarely. For example, I could probably safely say my Mum has said F about three times ever (not to us I would add) and when she does you know that's a seriously big deal! I want my kids to have a wonderful vocabulary but mine is good and I still swear when I'm really annoyed or have stubbed my toe or whatever. It would be ridiculous to ask my kids to practice something I don't.

I have to admit, I very very very rarely swear. I dont know why, I just never have. I wasnt bought up to hear it and so it never crossed my mind to use the words. I DID go through a real rebellious stage between the ages of 16 and 18 when I did what I liked, went where I liked, and said what I liked. Im still ashamed of my behaviour now to this day and am embarrassed to admit I did so many of those things.

Being a nanny, I obviously wouldnt ever ever ever swear in front of my charges and I would be mortified if I did. I once heard my 2-year-old charge call her stepdad a smelly pikey then laugh (im so sorry if I offended anyone with that word, it IS awful) and MAN did I tell her off. She's never said it again-at least not in front of me.

I never needed to use those words when I was younger, although my 11-year-old sister definatly does. . . although she wouldnt dare in front of our parents!!! Its so much different now-or maybe I was just naiive wehen I was young?? :dohh:

As for my own children, Ill cross that bridge when we come to it I think!! Iv no idea what Ill do that. . .where is the instruction manual??!! :blush:

But don't you feel that's a bit hypocritical to pretend you don't do something when you do? I also don't feel that swearing is the same thing as bad behaviour, the two things can easily exist without the other.


If you're a person who never swears and thinks it's always wrong or inappropriate to then I can completely see why you wouldn't want your kids to swear at all. But if you do swear and still don't think your kids should swear, I just think that's very hypocritical. I will discourage my kids from swearing when they are little and always try not to swear too much anyway because these things have a much more impressive impact when done rarely. For example, I could probably safely say my Mum has said F about three times ever (not to us I would add) and when she does you know that's a seriously big deal! I want my kids to have a wonderful vocabulary but mine is good and I still swear when I'm really annoyed or have stubbed my toe or whatever. It would be ridiculous to ask my kids to practice something I don't.

Ehh, I don't think it's hypocritical. The way I see it is when you're a child, there's a lot of stuff you have to do and lot of priveleges you don't have because of your age. Not to mention that allowing your child to curse publicly is offensive to a whole bunch of people (myself included), and should not be tolerated for that reason, if not any other.

I guess I take this stance because I curse, probably more than I should, but will absolutely in no way tolerate my child cursing. I'm going to do my very best to monitor my language in front of him. See, my parents were very strict with our language as children... we would get punished for saying "shut up" or "oh my God" or things like that. But I did hear my parents cursing on occasion, though they always tried to monitor it and would apologize for saying the 'bad word' around us. Did I feel like it was unfair that they could curse but I couldn't? Yeah, of course. But that's part of being a kid -- your parents get to decide what you can and cannot do on your behalf. My parents drank coffee every day, decaf even, and I wasn't allowed a sip! Drove me crazy! I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Because I'm your mom, that's why!":dohh:

When my child is an adult she can make her mind up whether she wants to swear or not, until then i wont have her swearing in my house.

Same way i was brought up ... when your an adult you can make your own mind up, until then you go by your mothers rules

My daughter who will be 2 next month has picked up a couple swear words, I just ignore her and she doesnt say it, but I feel so bad for saying them around her....I try my best to not swear around her but sometimes it slips....

I once heard my 2-year-old charge call her stepdad a smelly pikey then laugh (im so sorry if I offended anyone with that word, it IS awful) and MAN did I tell her off. She's never said it again-at least not in front of me.



Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

I agree!!!

i think young children swearin is horrible but sometimes they pick these things up and theres not a lot u can do about it really and when they r teenagers they r pretty much gna talk how they want so when my kid is a teenager i will let her/him swear as i doubt there will be much i can do about it any way

I swear and so does my hubby mainly when im driving! My two yr old doesnt say anything and if she did i would ignore her until shes old enough to understand its naughty!I must try not too but some people seriously cant drive!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

But don't you feel that's a bit hypocritical to pretend you don't do something when you do? I also don't feel that swearing is the same thing as bad behaviour, the two things can easily exist without the other.

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

Paky is either a name for people from pakistan or used in a nasty way and pikey is a word for a chav or common type of person

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

Like Moomin said packy is a derrogatory term for people from Pakistan but is also used a general insult for anyone from Asia. We have a lot of immigrants from Asia so people like to be nasty and mean to them. Pikey is usually used for gypsies or travellers as I believe the PC word for them is at the moment. Again, it's fairly offensive.

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

Hypocritical is not just about telling someone something (or not to do something), it means doing one thing whilst pretending to do another or pretending to have some sort of virtue, say, but not actually possessing it (and knowing you don't posses it). My feeling is that if I thought something was wrong then I wouldn't do it, otherwise why pretend?

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

Hypocritical is not just about telling someone something (or not to do something), it means doing one thing whilst pretending to do another or pretending to have some sort of virtue, say, but not actually possessing it (and knowing you don't posses it). My feeling is that if I thought something was wrong then I wouldn't do it, otherwise why pretend?


Its what children do! I wasnt going to go up to my mum at the age of nine and say yeah its wrong but f*ck u i swear! I didnt swear around her i never told her i didnt swear i just knew it was bad! Are u telling me a toddler wont draw on the walls and then say i didnt do it!

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

Its nothing to do with differences in culture at all if he knows its
"wrong" to say these things to people then why write it and hes nine nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

Its nothing to do with differences in culture at all if he knows its
"wrong" to say these things to people then why write it and hes nine nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.

Actually, his biological father was neglectful so he has every right to feel stressed out and angry at 9 years old. Hence why I have custody. The "f bomb" is not what I'm speaking of. I'm talking about some less offensive words.

my dad was a violent alcoholic and then my step dad also turned out to be a alcoholic so i didnt have the best childhood but im not using that as a reason for my bad language

Perhaps you dealt with your issues in a different way- this is how he releases his. He's 9 and he's male- totally different thought processes. I grew up with sisters and we always spoke our minds and had drama in the house. Many boys on the other hand digest information and react completely different. My step son holds it all in and let's it brew. He won't verbalize how he feels to anyone-- even over a simple cookie that he wasnt allowed to have before dinner and is angry about. I'm blessed my 9 yr old isn't holding his feelings inside. You are surely entitled to your feelings.
Is this your first?

yeah this is my first! its good that he doesnt hold his feelings in because alot of males do but i was just pointing out that there are many ways to do this without swearing or writing down swear words at his age.

i swore like a trooper from a very young age so not judging anyone but it isnt needed

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?


I don't think its a difference in culture. We have to remember that people in the artist "sub-culture" are way more able to express their emotions and everything by nature. Some people are just born that way, lucky things!! People who are writers, painters, musicians, etc etc etc, are more open to expression, no matter what it is! Also, I'm sure you aren't letting your little boy use racial slurs or horrible curse words.


And yes, there are things in a 9 year olds life that can make them "pissed off".

I swear at home, usuallyu when i have dropped something or hurt my self but i am slowly learning to change my language.
I NEVER swore infront of my parents or elders as i knew i would be in trouble and i respected them.
I think alot of it these days is down to a lack of respect or self respect.
Ewan has picked up a couple of swear words from my parents but i am ignoring it he is getting no reaction from me at all and funnily enough it has stopped.
He will now say 'Oopsie' or 'ohhh' or 'owwww' if he hurts him self to drops things.
If he swears out side the house then there is not alot i can do but if i ever hear that he has been swearing then he will be in trouble.
Once he is an adult then he can make his own decisions but until then he is under our care and our rules.

My child will not swear under my roof. I was brought up that way as was my OH and we will bring our son up in the same way. I don't even swear myself that much, and I have never sworn in front of a child.

nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.
I'm amazed by this statement!


Its what children do! I wasnt going to go up to my mum at the age of nine and say yeah its wrong but f*ck u i swear! I didnt swear around her i never told her i didnt swear i just knew it was bad! Are u telling me a toddler wont draw on the walls and then say i didnt do it!
I know it's what children do, I didn't say anything about whether or not it happens, just that it's hypocritical. I would rather not force my child to pretend to be something, or someone, else in front of me, it will only risk alienating them in the end.


Ewan has picked up a couple of swear words from my parents but i am ignoring it he is getting no reaction from me at all and funnily enough it has stopped.
That's pretty much my feeling on it. When they're little it's just to get a rise and a bit of attention. Best not to make a big deal out it I think.

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

I didn't say it did alienate you, but there's a risk if we expect our children to be something they're not that that will happen.

Again, I know kids do things they don't tell their parents, I was a child once too. I'm not so bothered about swearing so I'd rather they didn't feel the need to pretend.

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

True, when i started work my language became foul as the other girls were doing it too and i just picked it up, but i never did it once i got home, didnt change who i was it was just a different environment.

Personally if i had started swearing openly infront of my parents that would have alienated my self from my parents, as it would have shown them a complete lack of respect. They knew i did swear but that was up to me as long as they never hear me do it.

As for 9 yr olds using 'pissed off' theres no need for it at all.

Swearing is about age appropriateness and telling our child not to do it is not hypocritical but is age appropriate.

And swearing is only one thing on the list. These are just examples:

What about when a little girl wants her ears pierced, or even their belly button, because mommy does, and you tell them not until they are older?

What about kissing the opposite sex yet they are too young?

What about dating at a very young age?

What about a young teen wanting to have sex?

What about a young teen (minor) wanting to drink alcohol?

What about a young child wanting to stay out until later hours?

I could go on and on.

It's not hypocritical to do something yourself yet tell your kids not to do these things. It's all about being of age to do these things.

I personally won't accept it, I don't swear nor does my OH.

I see no reason for it.

You know, when your kids are teenagers and in school, there is absolutely nothing you can do but just say that you won't tolerate it at home.

But when I go around and hear little cousins spitting curse words out like they're just regular words...its a bit much. My cousin for example, he says "oh fuck!" a lot, but he also says "you bitch" and "holy shit" and "you piece of crap". So you know, it sounds horrible and I won't be putting up with it. His parents just laugh at it but I'm completely appalled every time I see him.

I agree when they are teenagers and out, there's nothing you can do. But like you I will not tolerate it at home. Really what is the need for it?

I hear kids my daughters age swearing, and I think where are they learning this from? My daughter is nearly 3. Then I hear the parents speak. I agree it's not always the parents but when kids at 2, and 3 are swearing, it makes you wonder...

I swear sometimes, words like shit, piss, etc. never the F word. I don't swear around my little one, once he gets old enough though I wouldn't mind it if he used the odd MINOR swear word, just NEVER in public as it is disrespectful towards others and in my opinion is just downright rude. My mother, grandmother, we all swear occasionally around eachother (they don't mind) but if they were bothered by it I would stop.

I hear kids my daughters age swearing, and I think where are they learning this from? My daughter is nearly 3. Then I hear the parents speak. I agree it's not always the parents but when kids at 2, and 3 are swearing, it makes you wonder...

That's true. When I hear really young children (i.e. children too young to be at school surrounded by other kids) swearing, I do assume that they're hearing that kind of language in their homes. When babies/young children are learning to talk, they learn by repitition (sp?) so I guess they're just repeating what they've heard in they're own environments.

Indeed, I find it disgusting hearing young children swearing. They are like sponges so anything they hear at home and out and about will probably be repeated.

I don't swear, and when I do it's very rare. My OH doesn't swear much either, unless were havin a little arguement, lol. But I definately don't want my child to swear. I've been brought up not to swear, so therefore my child is. I've never swore in front of my parents, i'm to scared lol. But no, I don't want my child swearing. Even as a teenager, i don't think i'd like to hear it. Lol.