Not telling anyone that I'm in labour?

Do you think it would be insane if I didn't tell anyone but my mom, dad and sister when I go into labour? I know if everyone finds out they're constantly going to be asking my sister if I've had the baby yet and bugging her to death. And I know I'm probably weird, but I really don't want anyone to come visit me in the hospital. There are just certain people that I know as soon as they find out I've had Penelope they're going to rush to the hospital to visit. They're just not the people I'm going to want to see after I was just in labour/delivered a baby.

Ughh. If I don't though, I'm going to have to face a ton of questions about "why didn't you tell us" and they're going to be really offended :dohh:

I'm the same way, lol. The nurses that work my labour ward told me that it is the best idea not to call your family members / friends until after you give birth or they will be up there trying to visit you and being annoying. She even said I could register under a fake name (thats a bit extreme I think haha) so that if someone does come up looking for you, they won't know what room you are in.

I think I will just call my mom and Brian can call his parents, and THATS IT. I don't even know if I want to call my mom, as she can be annoying and I can see her rushing up with all 5 of her foster kids, trying to barge in and help.

Im thinking of doing the same Rae! I know if certain people know they will be trying to visit and thats really the last thing i want. I was only planning on telling my mum

i'm planning (haha when i get preg) to just tell my OH, everyone knows ur preg, and theyre gunna see baby, i just want that moment and a short time after to be just us, we created baby, so we deserve that special time with our child, i know people think theyre being helpful but thats when i begin to start holdin grudges!!!!!xxxxxx

In our hospitals in Calgary, they've solved that problem for you. You are only allowed two people in with you until delivery and they only allow grandparents and siblings to visit while in hospital.
Rae, they don't get to be offended. Seriously, how self-centred are you to get upset when someone goes into labour and doesn't stop everything to give you a call? Tell them sorry, but that somehow it slipped your mind because you were, oh I don't know, maybe having a freaking baby?!!! No one, and I mean no one, in their right mind would listen to them complain about such a slight and have an ounce of pity for them.
Go into labour, have baby, and emerge when you are good and ready to see people. That is the etiquette around birth these days. It's not okay to come around uninvited to visit anymore. It's considered intrusive.
A phone call saying congratulations and asking when you want visitors is polite.
Barging in to the delivery room or where you're recovering is not being supportive, it's being rude. It's saying that their needs come before yours.
Maybe there's an Ann Landers column somewhere that goes over the finer points of this situation that you could casually leave somewhere for them to read?

I'm glad you asked this, as I have had the same issue lately. As far as I am concerned, I only want my OH with me while in labour. I am happy for our immediate family - mum, dad and sisters to visit us fairly soon after baby is born. What I'm not happy about is the fact that one of my OHs good friends wants to come and be there while I'm in labour or very soon after birth!! I am not good friends with this person, and cannot bear the thought of her being there while I am giving birth and/ or recovering! Is it too much to ask to be able to have time to rest, have a shower etc. before having to see visitors!? I think not! If anyone is offended by you not informing them you are in labour then I say stuff em! No doubt you will be so smitten with your new bundle of joy that you won't be bothered if they try and make you feel guilty. I know I won't be!! Good Luck!

I try not to think about this haha... I already am going to have a bunch of people calling and stuff and I have no way of getting away from it.

As it is I have 2 mothers (mine and my oh's) constantly on me about how things are going lol!

I will tell people, but no one except my OH will be allowed to be there until the baby is born and we are both decent. In which case I hope is in the middle of the night cause then we will get to be alone and maybe sleep before visiting hours! haha

I'm only telling my mum, rob's' mum and dad because they are taking Scarlett...and my text buddy :)

This is our moment, not theirs!

When I get to this point it will only be DH in the room. I don't need everyone crowding in, plus it is a moment for DH and I.

We also figure we are going to wait a couple weeks before anyone is allowed to come and visit...I am such a harda$$.

I think I will tell close family and give strict instructions that no one else visit the hospital. My hospital has only a 2 visitor per bed rule so i only want the important ppl to be able to visit.

When i go into labour im only having my o/h know and maybe the kids if its in the middle of the night(only so there not worried if they wake up and were not here) Everyone else will find out afterwards and we will take it from there on the visitor front

Im only having my mum and OH there and will tell my sister i am in labour...everyone else can wait until ive actually had the baby before they know! Oh and i will need someone to look after the dog, but havent really thought about what im doing with her yet!

HA i'm not telling anyone... i'm telling my OH only. I dont want fuss, i will let my mum know when i leave (since she will be upstairs :lol: ) send a txt to his parents and tell them not to contact us, we will call them when we are ready. Hmmmm... i do feel i'm a bitch :(

Hubby and parents and that's it. I'm not even too fussed if the in-laws don't get to the hospital. The last thing you need is a barrage of people fussing round you when you're trying to get used to your new addition.

Yeah I was thinking of not letting anyone know I'm even in the hospital/in labour/had the baby until I actually get home. Which would be 2 days later because I believe that is how long they keep you in there here. I do feel like a bitch, but I know I'm going to be really agitated and on edge if there's people rushing into my room trying to hold her and giving me all kinds of advice on how their sister's husband's cousin twice removed did things.

I am the same about visitors! thats a great idea bout no telling people about being in labour i am going to nick your idea! Plus its up 2 you who you tell and when, as vicky said in my post bout visitors, its a case of tough shit. cos there is certain people i dont want coming to visit or knowing about the labour. do what you want huni to is your and your LOs day. xx

Everyone will know when im going in as it will be a planned section, but only my other half will be with me while im having the baby.
Ill tell my mum and dad to come at night to visit because im planning on blagging them into watching the kids. But that will be it for the first day because ill be so tired.
Ill probably get my sister and her kids the day after and maybe my brother and his tribe.
I dont mind visitors though, ill be in for a few days and its so boring in hospital.
There are a couple of people i dont want there, so im not telling them when im going in, were just going to ring them when i get home.

When my older sister was born, my parents told everyone my mum was in labour and she was exhausted and constantly bothered by people for the next few days. With me, they told my mum's parents so they could babysit my sister and told no-one else until about 4 days after I was born and we were all happily back home! I think some people were a bit miffed but they didn't care, it's what's best for mum and baby that matters xxxx

Honestly, only tell the people you really want to know right away. There is nothing worse than having a million people come visit you in the hospital while your lady bits have just been battered and your breasts are rock hard and gianourmous! I didn't feel very pretty right after birth and I didn't want to see ANYONE! Then they all wanted to hold my baby and I couldn't get up out of the bed to supervise without my gown flying open or fear of tearing my stitches. I think it's a brilliant idea to keep it on the down low! If people get pissy about it- let them feel their feelings until they are done being angry/sad/hurt. They'll get over it. Your comfort must come first! =)

i dont think its silly if thats what u want to do...as soon as i go into labour i'll only tell my OH and we will be off to the hospital, might have to tell my mum as well because we will have to drop my OH son off to her but other than that i just dont get it when people get funny about u not telling them, your in labour u dont want to have to phone 20 people to tell them, just ring them after and say i've had the baby, if they say why didnt u let us know u were in labour just say i had more inportant things on my mind at the time....

oh i forgot to say, just cause you tell someone you have gone into labour i dont see why they then have the right to come to the hospital and visit, i mean for a normal labour your only in for like a night if that, so whats the point unless its your mum dad or sister who else needs to come see u apart from your partner , some people just dont get it do they....

With my first we dindn't tell anyone just rang after i had him, But this time my dad had to know caz he was looking after LO but again no-one else knew til she was born x

I don't know why you'd tell anyone else. We're unplugging the phones when I go into labour.

I don't think it's selfish or rude at all to not tell anyone when your in labour. I personally don't even want to tell people after i've had her for a while. I would rather spend the time bonding with my baby and not chasing after my phone or having friends/ unnecessary family barging in.

Maybe you could get someone to ring the day after you've had Penelope (really glad you've gone back to your original name and not been put off by people, it's lovely!) and just say you're not allowed visitors?

Whatever way you do it, people aren't going to be annoyed, they'll be too happy cooing over your beautiful daughter x

:hug:

This is true. I warned my family at the dinner table last night that if they breathe a word that I'm in labour to a single soul, I'm locking down my hospital room!! :rofl:

Its just my moment with my daughter and I don't want people intruding

Not selfish at all!
When I go into labour you girls will know,my sister and her OH,my best friends and of course Nathan.But I don't have much extended family anyway (I mean I do,but they are very far)
As for just friends and family friends,they'll find out once I'm out of the hospital and home with my girl for at least a week!

We didn't tell anyone apart from most of the world on BabyandBump :blush: but we text them when she arrived.

Hiya

my dh and I are going to be the only ones to know, as my mother worrys for England!!

I have lots of friends who sent out an email birth announcement with all the details and a polite request that they would be happy to welcome visitors at such and such a date. It was a great way to answer all the questions and set boundaries regarding visitors.
Also, you can delegate some of this info sharing - it makes grandparents, close friends, etc feel honoured and important if they are put in charge of calling with the announcement.

just say it happened so fast u couldnt call anyone!

Nooooooooooooo, I think you should do what's right for you babe.

You're right, people will sit there getting excited for you and maybe texting to see how you're going. It's only coz they care and will be giddy and need to know what to rush to the shops and buy for you but if you don't want the hassle....nah, don't tell anyone:hugs:

Just tell them that you were a bit erm "busy" or that :hugs:your battery was dead on your mobile:blush:


Good luck chick:hug:

I think it is perfectly reasonable. For me, as I live in another state, it will help deter most people from rushing to the hospital on my C-Section date. It will only be my OH, my mom and my sister there for the duration of the day, and I've asked my father and his wife and son to stay away until late afternoon so I have some time to get settled, etc. Everyone else can come visit when I go to stay with my Mom, who lives in the same state as everyone who will want to come. :)